Illegal Aliens [Paperback]

Nick Pollotta (Author), Phil Foglio (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: February 17, 2005

Prof. Rajavur and his 'First Contact Team' had been patiently waiting years for aliens to land on Earth. Leader Idow and the crew of the starship, All That Glitters, were just looking for an unknown planet where they could land and have a little fun teasing the primitive natives. So it was pure bad luck that the first humans the alien tricksters encounter is a ruthless New York City street gang, the Bloody Deckers. With more starships landing and the world in chaos, Rajavur and his First Contact Team have to move fast in a desperate plan to rescue the innocent aliens from the evil street gang! Then again, maybe they should join forces with the street gang to protect the Earth from the furious aliens? Best-Selling author Nick Pollotta and Hugo award winning illustrator Phil Foglio have packed this one-of-a-kind science fiction comedy full of thrilling combat, nuclear agents, planetary blockades, Omega Gas, the galactic police, Russian-doll-style Dyson spheres, a giant flying refrigerator, big juju, a high-stakes game of poker, space battles, warobots, the trail of the millennium, bar fights, naughty lingerie, lost civilizations, the United Nations Space Marines, lost civilizations, group sex, and delicious fried chicken.

Product Details

• Paperback: 268 pages
• Publisher: Borgo Press (February 17, 2005)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1587157969
• ISBN-13: 978-1587157967
• Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6.2 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 14.1 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (25 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,804,618 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

PROFESSORESSA KAJA FOGLIO is the current Head of the Department of Irrefutably True History at Transylvania Polygnostic University. She first became aware of the power of Creative History while listening to the excuses of her fellow students who had failed to produce their homework. Her doctoral work brought recognition to the long hidden canis operisphagus, or "homework-eating dog" which, as we now now, infests most of our major schools and universities. She first became interested in the history of the Heterodyne family during the infamous "Nymphenberg Pudding Incident" when she was mistaken for Agatha by an angry mob of dessert chefs from whom she barely escaped. Her subsequent research has brought her the grudging acclaim and jealous rivalry of many of her academic colleagues. She enjoys airship racing, Hyrulian Electro-Mechanical Shadow Puppetry and illustrated novels.

PROFESSOR PHIL FOGLIO spends most of his time in the field, collecting legends, folk songs, anecdotes and gossip relating to Sparks and their effects on village society and "folk science". This is a bit odd, as he was originally hired by Transylvania Polygnostic University to teach Modern Dance. He first became interested in Heterodyne stories while doing research on simple automatons and was actually present when the Lady Heterodyne unleashed her "Battle Circus" upon Baron Klaus Wulfenbach. Through subsequent research, bribery, and rampant speculation, the professor has managed to fill in a great many of the narrative gaps in the early life of Agatha Heterodyne. He enjoys botany, mechanical illustration, entomology and -in moderation- modern dance.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Aliens Attack! - well sort of....., January 6, 2005

By 

K. Maxwell "katmax1" (Sydney, Australia) - See all my reviews

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This review is from: Illegal Aliens (Paperback)

This novel was more fun than I anticipated. Aliens land in New York and the UN first contact team takes over the world to deal with them. This is almost 2 books. The first half deals with the first aliens who land on earth and the second half what earth does in retaliaton to what they find out about people-out-there.

This book sends up tonnes of standard SF stories and is fully tounge-in-cheek. It has a cast of eccentric characters and aliens who really aren't any better or worse than humanity itself.

For a fun satire on the whole SF genre this book is a good read (as long as you aren't expecting anything too sophisticated..)

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars so glad to see this in print again! If you dont know what the cold war was see update!, January 3, 2005

By 

Brian E. Hunt "The Spice must flow..." (MA , United States) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Illegal Aliens (Paperback)

So nice to see this puppy back in print! all you folks selling it for 80.00+ go soak your dirty heads! One of the great stories from TSR's heyday. I read this sucker the first time while a senior in high school way back in 89 and it still makes me bust a gut! Fun,wacky and a great read!update 2/18/06 I guess I should add this book is extremely sarcastic,sophmoric and juvenile(it was intended for teens after all)I do think the way it portrays humankind as self absorbed and unable to accept defeat is right on(its at once a strength and a weakness). I guess if you were teenager reading it for the first time never having lived during the cold war you might rate 2-3 stars

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A brilliant satire of humanity's first contact with aliens., February 18, 2004

By A Customer

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Illegal Aliens (Paperback)

This is by far one of my favorite books. Briefly, it concerns mankind's reaction to the landing of an alien spaceship in Central park.

This book is somewhat distinctive in that it takes into account both humanity's resourcefulness and its perversity. With humor typical of the authors, in a linguistic mishap the aliens accidently abduct a street gang instead of the construction crew they had had their sights on. The resulting hijinks end with the Earth being put on Galactic interdiction, complete with a police blockade.

Naturally, humanity isn't going to take this insult lying down! I mean, they're only aliens, after all. The second part of the novel deals with the good guys' attempt to contact the ruling council of the Galaxy in a half completed spaceship built with stolen and barely understood technology. In the process, they must defeat an interstellar blackmarketeer and criminal organization, in addition to the Great Golden Ones (the star cops).

This book will have you in stitches within the first chapter-- guaranteed. Don't pick it up unless you have a healthy chunk of free time on your hands, or extrodinary willpower. You won't be able to put it down.