Illustrated Stories From The Bible [Paperback]

Paul Farrell (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: December 15, 2005

An adult parody of children's Bible-story books. Because it is extremely accurate -- even anatomically accurate -- in depicting the often shocking tales that make the bible an ethicist's nightmare Illustrated Stories From The Bible can be recommended for children no more than one could recommend the Bible itself. Each tale (illustrated by cartoonist Kathy Demchuck) is told in the wide-eyed, isn't-God-wonderful manner of the books usually employed to entice children into churches. Each story is followed, however, by a rationalist's ethical critique that draws upon the best modern scholarship concerning the Bible. Stories include: Elisha and the Bears; Jephtha's Daughter; Little Gershom's Penis; Uriah the Hittite; David's Census; Moses Helps God Understand; Slaughter Of the Midianites; Famine In Samaria; Where Giants Came From; Wives For the Benjamites; and When Jesus Drowned the Pigs.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Paul Farrell was born in Perth, Scotland, and moved to Canada when he was thirteen. With a degree in Political Science and a Masters in Public Adminisration, he has made a career in the health-care industry in British Columbia -- while living the life of a semiprofessional soccer player as well! Like everyone, Paul was born an Atheist, but then he was reared as a Roman Catholic. In his early twenties he became a born-again Christian and began researching topics from evolution to abortion. He developed into a fervent apologist for fundamentalism and frequently debated issues from the fundamentalist perspecive. Ultimately, his intense and thorough studies led him out of the Bible and Christianity altogether. He became a born-again Atheist. "I found myself in the embarrassing position of having to admit that the Bible god was not the loving, divine being that I had been defending. Instead, it was a rather unsavory character conjured up in the minds of men. It was sobering to realize how easily I had managed to gloss over critical biblical problems during all my Bible studies. I resolved to present these issues in a way that could not simply be swept under the rug and ignored."

Product Details

• Paperback: 176 pages
• Publisher: American Atheist Press (December 15, 2005)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1578849225
• ISBN-13: 978-1578849222
• Product Dimensions: 9.9 x 6.9 x 0.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.7 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (15 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #496,778 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

54 of 60 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars I've finally found the book on religion I'd be willing to show to my future children!, May 19, 2007

By 

Scott Kozlowski "The Kreeper" (Tennessee) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Illustrated Stories From The Bible (Paperback)

Anyone who's ever wandered into a doctors office or dentists office as a child or with a child will be instantly familiar with those 'illustrated stories from the bible' books that show children the wonders of god by telling all the "good" stories from the "good book" with exciting pictures and paintings.

This book is the perfect antidote to such books. In fact, I know a few doctors and dentists who might end up finding a copy of this book "mysteriously appear" in their office...

The shear genius of this book cannot be praised enough. The idea here is simple: Make a book that takes some of the most idiotic, brutal, sexist, racist, and moronic stories that are contained in the bible and tell those stories with artist renderings and modern language and then provide a commentary on those stories that includes chapter and verse quotes and the Christian "reasoning" for the brutality, murder and rape that their god has seen fit to include in the Bible.

The end result is a book that showcases the shear ignorance of many theists out there as to just what exactly is contained in "the good book." For every good story, there are countless others that can only be described as EVIL.

This book is not perfect, but it's damned close.

The illustrations, while funny and brutally honest to the writings of the bible are mostly black and white sketches, so there are no glorious renderings in oil of the 70,000 people slaughtered by God in the Books of Samuel and Chronicles. This is a pity because the mental image of a glorious oil painting of 70,000 rotting corpses laying on the ground under god's out-stretched hand leaves me giddy with school-boyish joy.

The author has an obvious bias and lets it leak into the examination of the stories outlined in the illustrations, and his commentary on those stories often includes word-for-word redundancy. Meaning that, in many cases, the author tells the story two or three times... It can be a little off-putting to read the same story three times in the space of three paragraphs.

Aside from these minor issues, this books a glorious addition to any agnostic or atheist book collection. I know that if/when I have children of my own, this will be the first book I use with them when the subject of religion and god comes up.

15 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars The dark side of the Bible, November 27, 2008

By 

J. Pietersen "to hell with superstition" (Western Cape, South Africa) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Illustrated Stories From The Bible (Paperback)

A very valuable collection and discussion of the juicy parts of the holey book. Not for the very young (or the sensitive soul - it could upset both), Illustrated Stories From The Bible tells stories in the style that such stories are usually depicted in children's bibles, only the selected stories are those most believers wish weren't in the Bible (or have conveniently skipped all their lives), and the explanations tell the stories as they are - with all the gory (Biblical) detail.

Don't be surprised if this book makes you look at the Bible in a (deservedly) new and more critical manner.

The book has its faults: it could have been in a better format, the critiques could have been better written and the printing style could very easily have been improved (using different font styles to separate story from discussion is probably not the best idea). But despite these shortcomings the book is a very valuable addition to the thinker's bookshelf, and would make a great trick if passed to a teacher at the right moment for reading to her class (as unfortunately still happens in South Africa).

The books deserves to remain in print, and perhaps future editions can contain better type and even colour sketches.

50 of 59 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars If gods are nice guys, why do bibles depict them as monsters?, April 26, 2006

By 

William R. Harwood (somewhere in Canada) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Illustrated Stories From The Bible (Paperback)

Once upon a time, when Yahweh's nice Spokesman, Elisha, was about to enter Bethel, a gaggle of 42 children laughed at him and jeered at his bald head. So Elisha, in righteous indignation, called on his god to inflict appropriate punishment on the perpetrators of such irreverence. Yahweh promptly summoned two bears, and the bears mauled the 42 children to death.
Since the obvious moral of that exemplary tale was, "You don't mess with Yahweh's Spokesmen," it does not take a Sherlock Holmes to deduce that its author was a shop steward for the Spokesmen's Guild.
Following his retelling of the "Elisha and the two bears" fable, Farrell asks, "Could this story really be true? ... Well, if one accepts the Bible as literal truth, then it most certainly is true." He goes on to explain how defenders of religion try to rationalize such biblical horror stories by arguing that "the Bible doesn't really mean what it says."
Farrell next spells out another biblical myth that no child has ever been taught in Sunday School, of how Jephthah vowed to Yahweh that, if Yahweh granted him victory over the dirty heathens guilty of peacefully occupying land that Jephthah's tribe coveted, he would offer up the first living thing to emerge from his house after the battle as a burnt sacrifice. That turned out to be his little daughter, and Jephthah obediently fulfilled his vow.
By the time Farrell finishes describing the incredible and incompatible rationalizations offered by upholders of biblical "truth," the reader is left to wonder, "What color is the sky in these people's world?"
This is a book that all bible believers, including older children, should be required to read. Of course that is not going to happen. But at the very least, anyone bothered by uninvited door-knocking missionaries should have a copy handy. If nothing else, asking the missionaries to explain why Yahweh's own official biography portrays him as so much less than a nice guy, should stop them from ever returning. That should be worth the purchase price.