I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla: Raising Healthy Black and Biracial Children in a Race-Conscious World [Paperback]

Marguerite Wright (Author)

Book Description

ISBN-10: 0787952346 | ISBN-13: 978-0787952341 | Publication Date: May 8, 2000 | Edition: 1

This superb, rational, and highly readable volume answers a deeply felt need. Parents and educators alike have long struggled to understand what meanings race might have for the very young, and for ways to insure that every child grows up with a healthy sense of self. Marguerite Wright handles sensitive issues with consummate clarity, practicality, and hope. Here we have an indispensable guide that will doubtless prove a classic.
--Edward Zigler, sterling professor of psychology and director, Yale Bush Center in Child Development and Social Policy

A child's concept of race is quite different from that of an adult. Young children perceive skin color as magical--even changeable--and unlike adults, are incapable of understanding adult predjudices surrounding race and racism. Just as children learn to walk and talk, they likewise come to understand race in a series of predictable stages.

Based on Marguerite A. Wright's research and clinical experience, I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla teaches us that the color-blindness of early childhood can, and must, be taken advantage of in order to guide the positive development of a child's self-esteem.

Wright answers some fundamental questions about children and race including:
* What do children know and understand about the color of their skin?
* When do children understand the concept of race?
* Are there warning signs that a child is being adversely affected by racial prejudice?
* How can adults avoid instilling in children their own negative perceptions and prejudices?
* What can parents do to prepare their children to overcome the racism they are likely to encounter?
* How can schools lessen the impact of racism?
With wisdom and compassion, I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla spells out how to educate black and biracial children about race, while preserving their innate resilience and optimism--the birthright of all children.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"This book is useful for all parents who want their children to grow up with healthy attitudes in a world that uses race to separate human beings. . . . A worthwhile read."

"This superb, rational, and highly readable volume answers a deeply felt need. Parents and educators alike have long struggled to understand what meanings race might have for the very young, and for ways to ensure that every child grows up with a healthy sense of self. Marguerite Wright handles sensitive issues with consummate clarity, practicality, and hope. Here we have an indispensable guide that will doubtless prove a classic." (Edward Zigler, Ph.D., sterling professor of psychology and director, Yale Bush Center in Child Development and Social Policy)

"Here, at last, is an intelligent, well-researched and provocative, yet also comforting and reassuring book of advice. For parents who are trying to raise emotionally healthy children in a racially polarized world, Marguerite Wright has performed a timely and tremAndous public service." (Clarence E. Page, syndicated columnist, The Chicago Tribune)

"As I read Dr. Wright's book, I was reminded of what it's like to peel an onion. Layer after layer, the book uncovers the complex issues surrounding race and children. With wisdom and compassion, she explains how black and biracial children perceive color and race. But, most importantly, she gives us guidelines we need to raise healthy and happy children in our race conscious world. An excellent primer for parents, teachers, counselors, and anyone who is concerned with the future of our children." (Belva Davis, reporter, KRON-TV, San Francisco)

"In her book, Marguarite Wright uses a wealth of examples from her work with children and families and offers a creative array of suggestions and strategies for raising health black and biracial children. This book is a much-needed guide for rearing children in a society that is all too conscious about race." (Tony Paap, president and CEO, Children's Hospital Oakland)

"Finally, a practical and intelligent discussion of a complex issue that is so frequently misunderstood. All those who want to raise healthy children who have a positive sense of themselves can gain valuable lessons from this book." (Pedro Noguera, professor of education, University of California, Berkeley)

"This is simply the best book I've ever read on raising or teaching minority children. It's short . . . filled with memorable observations and useful advice." (Joe Morris, professor and director, School of Psychology, California State University, Northridge)

From the Inside Flap

Myth: Black and biracial children dislike their race from the time they are preschoolers.Reality: Young black and biracial children are unable to understand racial prejudice. In fact, developmentally they are incapable of understanding the concept of race. A child's concept of race is quite different from that of an adult. Young children perceive skin color as magical?even changeable?and unlike adults, are incapable of understanding the mature concepts surrounding race and racism. Just as children learn to walk and talk, they likewise come to understand race in a series of predictable stages. Based on Dr. Marguerite A. Wright's research and clinical experience working as a child psychologist, I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla teaches us that the color-blindness of early childhood can, and must, be taken advantage of in order to guide the positive development of a child's self-esteem.I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla is filled with practical, positive, and creative ideas for handling common situations such as what to do when your child says she wants a white doll; how to deal with relatives and friAnds who compare your children's skin colors and hair textures; and how to discipline your children so that they can grow up with self respect. Teachers will gain valuable insights about how preconceptions can contribute to a child's success or failure and how to handle discipline problems in the classroom. Wright answers some fundamental questions about children and race including

• What do children know and understand about the color of their skin?
• When do children understand the concept of race?
• Are there warning signs that a child is being adversely affected by racial prejudice?
• How can adults avoid instilling in children their own negative perceptions and prejudices?
• What can parents do to prepare their children to overcome the racism they are likely to encounter?
• How can schools lessen the impact of racism?With wisdom an

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 304 pages
• Publisher: Jossey-Bass; 1 edition (May 8, 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0787952346
• ISBN-13: 978-0787952341
• Product Dimensions: 9 x 5.9 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 13.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (27 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #70,082 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #96 in Books > Crafts, Hobbies & Home > How-to & Home Improvements > Home Repair

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

105 of 106 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Compassionate and Informative, July 16, 2000

By 

M. Hill (United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla: Raising Healthy Black and Biracial Children in a Race-Conscious World: A Guide for Parents and Teachers (Hardcover)

The book covers a lot of ground. But as a father of a biracial son the most relevant parts for me dealt with light-skinned and biracial children. An important theme of the book is "Don't racialize childhood": Young children should be shielded from our adult racial baggage for as long as possible. Wright believes that early teaching about race and racism tends to result in black children feeling needlessly powerless and confused about their place in this world.

Wright encourages parents to raise older children in such a manner as to teach that integration and educational success are fully consistent with "being authentically black." On this important issue, she encourages parents to become aware and resist notions of black identity that rest on longstanding white racist stereotypes that have been internalized by many African Americans. For example, successful blacks (particularly successful black men) are often derided as "oreos" or "sell-outs."

Sometimes Wright seems to downplay the degree to which residual white supremacy continues to constrict the lives of black children. For example, regarding the classic issue of black "self hatred," she argues that it is rare for young black children to be ashamed of themselves or their race unless they have been abused or explicitly taught racist attitudes by caregivers. On this point, her position differs somewhat from social psychological research that argues that black kids identify with whites because whites simply have more power, wealth, and social status in American society. Yet, I believe Wright is correct when she encourages parents not to get too bent out of shape if their child goes through a stage in which he or she insists that he or she is white. As she shows in her excerpts from interviews with preschoolers, young children might use racial language, but they do not have an adult understanding of race. For example, preschoolers do not know about the one-drop rule, and it is typical for light-skinned children to believe for a time that they are white, as they are aware that their skin tone is similar to that of whites. This does not mean they hate blacks or think they are better than darker blacks. Wright explains that many black parents needlessly feel rejected when light-skinned children assert that they are white-this is usually a developmental stage, not a political or emotional rejection of blackness.

The author feels that parents and other caregivers can buffer most of the negative effects of white racism during the important early years. However, she argues (correctly, in my opinion) that poorly funded inner city public schools threaten to undo much of parents' best effort to prepare black children to compete in the larger society. Hence, she makes a compelling argument for school choice/vouchers and encourages parents to be ever vigilant in the education of their children.

Wright shows her integrity when she boldly speaks out against injustice within the black community. For example, she denounces the cynicism of African American special interest groups (e.g., NAACP) who seek to use the racist and oppressive "one-drop rule" to suppress biracial or multiracial identity. (It is simply wrong for mixed children to be expected to "closet" any part of their family heritage!)

Noting the increasing nihilism among black youth, Wright warns that parents and teachers need to teach and model the Golden Rule, something she believes that many in the black community have drifted away from. And she does not shy away from identifying a series of behavioral issues that undermine the health of black children, such as hurtful color biases within the black community (including overt favoritism of females with "good" hair), high rates of teenage and single parentage, a tendency to mistake dehumanizing forms of physical and emotional abuse for "discipline," and overly permissive attitudes regarding exposure to high doses of commercial TV and misogynistic and brutal music lyrics (i.e., Gansta rap).

All in all, this is a well-written and balanced book written by a committed mother and psychologist.

40 of 40 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent book!! Anyone w/ kids or deals w/kids should read., August 15, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla: Raising Healthy Black and Biracial Children in a Race-Conscious World: A Guide for Parents and Teachers (Hardcover)

This book was very informative. I do a lot of reading on thissubject, as I am a black mother of two bi-racial children, andconsider myself very informed and open-minded. But this book gave me an opportunity to view race, and color perspectives from a child's view and not any adult. Which I must say was very amazing how childrens' thought process are. Anyone that has children no matter what your race, ethnic background etc. should read this book. Even an open-minded person, such as myself that makes a continuous effort to become as knowledgable as possible about this subject learned from this book. A must read book!!!

34 of 34 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Right on the Money!!!, November 25, 2003

By 

tennut "lslinder" (Brookline, NH United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla: Raising Healthy Black and Biracial Children in a Race-Conscious World (Paperback)

This book was exactly was I was looking for. It is NOT a book about adoption. To me, the book was how from the preschool years, children start to form opinions about race on up through the high school years. Also, it's about how teachers and parents can have a profound impact on how children view themselves in situations where they would be in the minority. I would highly recommend this book especially to parents like myself (black/hispanic with a white husband). Our daughters look hispanic and we live in an entirely white community. Our girls are ALWAYS the only ones with "brown" skin (as they say) in their classrooms. This book actually helps you address some of these issues and how to talk to teachers. Excellent book!