Customer Reviews

I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla: Raising Healthy Black and Biracial Children in a Race-Conscious World

5 star:		(16)
4 star:		(4)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(5)

 

 

The book covers a lot of ground. But as a father of a biracial son the most relevant parts for me dealt with light-skinned and biracial children. An important theme of the book is "Don't racialize childhood": Young children should be shielded from our adult racial baggage for as long as possible. Wright believes that early teaching about race and racism tends to result in black children feeling needlessly powerless and confused about their place in this world.

Wright encourages parents to raise older children in such a manner as to teach that integration and educational success are fully consistent with "being authentically black." On this important issue, she encourages parents to become aware and resist notions of black identity that rest on longstanding white racist stereotypes that have been internalized by many African Americans. For example, successful blacks (particularly successful black men) are often derided as "oreos" or "sell-outs."

Sometimes Wright seems to downplay the degree to which residual white supremacy continues to constrict the lives of black children. For example, regarding the classic issue of black "self hatred," she argues that it is rare for young black children to be ashamed of themselves or their race unless they have been abused or explicitly taught racist attitudes by caregivers. On this point, her position differs somewhat from social psychological research that argues that black kids identify with whites because whites simply have more power, wealth, and social status in American society. Yet, I believe Wright is correct when she encourages parents not to get too bent out of shape if their child goes through a stage in which he or she insists that he or she is white. As she shows in her excerpts from interviews with preschoolers, young children might use racial language, but they do not have an adult understanding of race. For example, preschoolers do not know about the one-drop rule, and it is typical for light-skinned children to believe for a time that they are white, as they are aware that their skin tone is similar to that of whites. This does not mean they hate blacks or think they are better than darker blacks. Wright explains that many black parents needlessly feel rejected when light-skinned children assert that they are white-this is usually a developmental stage, not a political or emotional rejection of blackness.

The author feels that parents and other caregivers can buffer most of the negative effects of white racism during the important early years. However, she argues (correctly, in my opinion) that poorly funded inner city public schools threaten to undo much of parents' best effort to prepare black children to compete in the larger society. Hence, she makes a compelling argument for school choice/vouchers and encourages parents to be ever vigilant in the education of their children.

Wright shows her integrity when she boldly speaks out against injustice within the black community. For example, she denounces the cynicism of African American special interest groups (e.g., NAACP) who seek to use the racist and oppressive "one-drop rule" to suppress biracial or multiracial identity. (It is simply wrong for mixed children to be expected to "closet" any part of their family heritage!)

Noting the increasing nihilism among black youth, Wright warns that parents and teachers need to teach and model the Golden Rule, something she believes that many in the black community have drifted away from. And she does not shy away from identifying a series of behavioral issues that undermine the health of black children, such as hurtful color biases within the black community (including overt favoritism of females with "good" hair), high rates of teenage and single parentage, a tendency to mistake dehumanizing forms of physical and emotional abuse for "discipline," and overly permissive attitudes regarding exposure to high doses of commercial TV and misogynistic and brutal music lyrics (i.e., Gansta rap).

All in all, this is a well-written and balanced book written by a committed mother and psychologist.

This book was very informative. I do a lot of reading on thissubject, as I am a black mother of two bi-racial children, andconsider myself very informed and open-minded. But this book gave me an opportunity to view race, and color perspectives from a child's view and not any adult. Which I must say was very amazing how childrens' thought process are. Anyone that has children no matter what your race, ethnic background etc. should read this book. Even an open-minded person, such as myself that makes a continuous effort to become as knowledgable as possible about this subject learned from this book. A must read book!!!

This book was exactly was I was looking for. It is NOT a book about adoption. To me, the book was how from the preschool years, children start to form opinions about race on up through the high school years. Also, it's about how teachers and parents can have a profound impact on how children view themselves in situations where they would be in the minority. I would highly recommend this book especially to parents like myself (black/hispanic with a white husband). Our daughters look hispanic and we live in an entirely white community. Our girls are ALWAYS the only ones with "brown" skin (as they say) in their classrooms. This book actually helps you address some of these issues and how to talk to teachers. Excellent book!

I'm a biological mom of a caucasian son, and an adoptive mom of one bi-racial and one african american child. I thought this book spoke in clear, non-clinical terms about how to raise a healthy child with a positive self-image, no matter what the race! In a household like mine, where everyone has a different race but the same name, it is a great resource to see that they all grow up to know they are important, lovable, and vital to our family and our world.

This book is by no means useful only to parents of black and bi-racial children. As a white parent I found it very informative and uplifting. Its basic premise, that there is a developmental awareness of race, so different from adults, is often overlooked even by professionals. Dr. Wright points out how much we can learn from this child's perspective and what a fresh start we can have to correct misconceptions. I recommend it to parents, teachers, childcare providers, anyone who deals with children of any ethnicity. After all, kids are kids.

This book was the most helpful of any I've read while researching bi-racial adoption. The information offered by age and how each age actually looks at things like skin color, etc., was just what I needed. I will definitely keep this book for reference!

As a regular reader of current works concerning children's development of racial identity, I found Dr. Marguerite Wright's "I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla" to be both refreshing and urgently needed in our society. Most of the books available about this subject present a world-weary, pessimistic message, that children of color naturally feel inferior and the most you can do is "deal with it" by using defensive stop-gap measures. In contrast, Dr. Wright has sifted through observations gleaned from her years of research and practice to craft a proactive, empowering approach to fostering and maintaining what her research has found to be young children's initially innocent and accepting regard of so-called racial differences. While Wright acknowledges the pervasive, subtle prejudice of today's America, she does not stop at bemoaning these inequities, but instead strives to arm parents and teachers with the knowledge they will need to correctly gauge children's understanding of race and also with wise tactics to prevent the often malignant race-obsession of previous generations from seeping into the minds of children. The copious advice she offers emphasizes augmenting a questioning awareness of race in children--after all, if we pass on to children a merely self-defeating, "racism is inevitable and unassailable" mindset, aren't we ourselves perpetuating the status quo? Wright advocates a enlightening new view of cultivating children's racial development when she argues that even if bias is there, we can help children to think through options of action in a mature and questioning manner and not just "deal with it," but act on their own terms.

I loved this book. It gave me an insight on what African American kids experience in a way that I have never found in other books. As a mother of an adopted African boy I recommend this book to anyone who has an adopted African American child. This books is better than any book I have read when the author is white and talking about African American kids.

My husband and I are white. We adopted a biracial girl last year. One of our challenges in raising our daughter is how to provide her with her african american heritage and culture. We have black friends and women who have taught me to do her hair and how to care for her skin, but we know that that is not enought. This book helped us to understand issues about race and culture differences and how children perceive these issues. It is written beautifully and has truly opened our eyes to issues that our daughter might face.

I found this book so engrossing that I finished it in one day. The author has a lot of wonderful advice on how to address issues of race with children, and I found the interviews with them (particularly the preschoolers) fascinating. I did disagree with the author's opinions on single parenting and the role of religion in children's lives, but...Overall, this is a must-read for parents and teachers who want to foster positive attitudes towards race in children.