I'm Dancing As Fast As I Can [Paperback]

Barbara Gordon (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 1989

Barbara had it all: a successful career as an award-winning documentary film maker, a strong relationship, and plenty of friends. But a lingering problem with anxiety drew her into a dangerous Valium addiction. Her story is an honest, gripping look into addiction, her ill-advised "cold-turkey" withdrawal and the hospitalizations that followed, the worst the psychiatric field has to offer, and her painful yet persistent pathway back to functioning. Through it all, Gordon is a beacon of hope, actively choosing life over the alternative, even after journeying to the darkest depths of the human psyche.

This beautifully written classic is a must read for anyone battling their own psychological demons, anyone in the mental health field, and everyone in need of an inspiring survivor story.

Praise for I'm Dancing as Fast as I Can:

"Spellbinding seems too mild a word." -Detroit Free Press

"Gordon's story rings with authenticity." -Washington Post

"Not only a frightening account of the tortured journey of her mind and soul, but a beautiful story that is filled with life and hope…" -Philadelphia Bulletin

--This text refers to an alternate Paperback edition.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Spellbinding seems too mild a word." -Detroit Free Press
"Gordon's story rings with authenticity." -Washington Post
"Not only a frightening account of the tortured journey of her mind and soul, but a beautiful story that is filled with life and hope..." -Philadelphia Bulletin

"The observer, the journalist in Ms. Gordon, was never asleep. . .one sees that the book is a genuine offering: it hides nothing, yet is not exploitive." -- Jill Robinson, The New York Times --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From the Author

I don't think anyone involved in the publication of my memoir, including myself, ever imagined the impact that it would have on readers around the world. One totally unexpected and delightful bit of fall-out from the book's success is that the phrase "I'm Dancing as fast as Can" has become part of the national vocabulary and is used by people in their daily conversations as well as in print to describe individuals, countries, even corporations struggling to perform delicate balancing acts of one sort or another.
My own story involved a battle over physician prescribed drugs and digging my way out of the hidden pot holes in what was laughingly called, our mental health system.
Today the world has changed and yet in a way it hasn't. While there are still those who are chronically dependent on drugs "sanitized" by virtue of having been prescribed by physicians, there are new medications with fewer side affects. More people are using other methods like yoga and jogging to reduce the stress and anxiety in their lives.
There is an issue that remains as crucial today as it was almost thirty years ago. the transformations that are constantly challenging women, we keep changing our skins, shedding fur like animals in the spring, spiraling, growing, assuming new roles. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 313 pages
• Publisher: Harpercollins (April 1989)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0060915935
• ISBN-13: 978-0060915933
• Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.3 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (17 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #202,017 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Barbara Gordon has had a long career as a documentary filmmaker at CBS and PBS, and was a writer for NBC's Today Show. She is the winner of three Emmy awards for her work as a documentary film writer and producer.

Her first book, I'm Dancing as Fast as I Can, was translated into nine languages, became an international bestseller, and received a nomination as finalist for outstanding autobiography by the American Book Awards.

Ms. Gordon is also the author of a novel, Defects of the Heart, and Jennifer Fever, a non-fiction work that explores the social and psychological intricacies, perils, and pleasures in relationships between older men and younger women.

Barbara Gordon was born in Miami, Florida, attended Vassar College, and is a graduate of Barnard College. She currently lives in New York City. She continues to lecture and is presently at work on a book of nonfiction.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

55 of 55 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Harrowing Vision Of Valium Addiction, July 5, 2000

By 

James D. Eret - See all my reviews

This review is from: I'M DANCING As FAST as I CAN (Mass Market Paperback)

This is the Age of the Quick Fix, the Age of Prozac and other mind potions. Barbara Gordon's story of her addiction to Valium and striving towards recovery is a classic in the literature of addiction. From a successful career as an award-winning documentary film maker, becoming famous and rich, to having a personal relationship with "Eric," who supposably was trying to take her off Valium cold turkey with disastrous results, Barbara Gordon paints an honest and painful a portrait of addiction as you will ever read. Once the most prescribed drugs for anxiety and "Nerves" in the world, it is now potentially one of the most addictive and dangerous to get off of after taking it for a long time. This book changed my life, for I was addicted to Valium, not ever imagining how it would change my life, mostly for the worse. Barbara Gordon's struggle was heroic and her getting off the drug, finding her bearings, and heading on the road to recovery make inspiring reading and a cautionary tale, that pills do not cure everything, that the human spirit can survive deep terrors. Many books on drug addiction have come and gone, written by professionals as well as laymen, but I know of none more powerful, none that face the fear with such total honesty as Barbara Gordon's book. It should never be out of print and anyone contemplating taking the drug path to lower anxiety should read this book and have second thoughts. Barbara Gordon, like many true survivors, takes her readers to hell and back, and show us that there is hope, even after a journey into into the deepest darkness of the psyche. Highly recommended. One of the best books ever written about drug addiction of any kind.

19 of 20 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Gripping tale - God forbid that it happen to anyone else, July 15, 2002

By 

Peter A. Kindle (Kansas City, Missouri) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: I'm Dancing As Fast As I Can (Paperback)

Hidden within the pages of this intense and absorbing first person account, are sincere and serious warnings for everyone living in our therapeutic culture. It warns of the false solutions offered by therapists who rely too heavily on medication. It warns of the dangers of relying on experts to provide healing rather than on self-responsibility. It warns of the dangers of emotional repression instead of expression. But the greatest warning may be that we all need to build and maintain networks of supportive and sensitive family and friends. In the end Gordon credits this resource as contributing the most to her healing.

Honored for 15 weeks on the New York Times bestseller's list, this book is the story of Barbara Gordon's anxiety-induced slide into Valium addiction, her ill-advised and dangerous "cold-turkey" withdrawal, the psychosis and hospitalizations that followed the withdrawal, and her slow, painful, and persistent pathway back to functioning. Readers may find the first half of the book to be a bit repetitive as Gordon chronicles her destructive relationship with Eric, but the pathos and honesty expressed in her fight back to sanity while at Greenwood Hospital is gripping and compelling.

I am aware that there have been changes in state licensing standards for therapists since this book was written. I am aware that there have been many significant advances in the study of brain biology since this book was written. I hope that the therapeutic "industry" may be credited with significant advance since Gordon endured this mistreatment. Nonetheless, I recommend this book. It speaks with a distinctive voice warning that we all - treated and untreated, patient and therapist - must take personal responsibility for our mental health within a supportive social context of family and friends.

No one should ever have to repeat the experience Barbara Gordon had.

12 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Human Struggle, Human Strength, April 7, 2000

By A Customer

This review is from: I'm Dancing As Fast As I Can (Hardcover)

In I'm Dancing As Fast As I Can, successful documentary producer Barbara Gordon tells the story of the fallout in her life after breaking free from a valium addiction and her personal stuggles that followed. Barbara had it all, a wonderful relationship, a successful career, a network of friends and a niggling problem with anxiety. After making the decision to put an end to her addiction, Barbara mysteriously spirals into neurosis, hospitalization, dispair and loneliness. Encountering the best and worst that the psychiatric field had to offer, Barbara chooses to triumph over her demons, chooses health over psychosis. Her story offers a gripping glimpse into the depths of a psychological disorder and the battles on the road back to normalacy. This is a must read for anyone working in the mental health field and anyone battling their own psychological demons.