Black women have been balancing the competing demands of work and home since before women even won the right to vote. But black voices are barely acknowledged in the mainstream "mommy wars" dialogue. Lonnae O'Neal Parker is determined to change that, in this uncommonly smart, highly acclaimed, and often witty examination—part memoir, part reportage—of how today's black women meet the challenges of marriage, motherhood, and work.
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Book Description
Editorial Reviews
From Publishers Weekly
AWashington Post journalist, wife and mother of three, Parker offers some sharp insights into balancing the multiple roles that engage contemporary women. Her remix blends history and memoir in "an assembly of voices and perspectives... of women... whose struggles presaged modern womanhood"—that is, middle-class black women for whom deciding not to go to work "wasn't an option at all." Money management, child-rearing, career management, cooking, religion, sexuality, having fun—all the things that women chat about among themselves get their moments. Parker's reach is broad, embracing her family, historical models (e.g., Ida B. Wells Barnett, Madame C.J. Walker) and a wide array of artifacts of popular culture (film, soap opera, rap music, magazines, etc.). Race plays a role in most of her observations; sometimes, as in the issues of skin color, hair and passing, it takes center stage. Parker's volume is best read in segments; a certain repetitiveness characterizes the remixing, and the pop culture references date quickly. Most working women will, nevertheless, find food for thought; as Parker puts it, "It's not that I believe that black women have all the answers—only that we have struggled with the questions longer and that sometimes that makes some of our tool sets more expansive." (Nov.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
From Booklist
Parker, a Pulitzer Prize-nominated reporter with the Washington Post, intersperses historical context, her newspaper commentaries, and current observations in this sharp perspective on black womanhood. Parker grew up on the South Side of Chicago, watching the progress of generations beginning with her grandmother; she sees a widening of possibilities tinged with a history of limitations for black women. She recalls stories of black women making do and creating space for themselves, bringing glamour to the dismal and peace to the turbulent. Contrasting the struggles of black women to those of middle-class white women, Parker maintains that black women--with a longer, more complex history of balancing work and family--have broader skills for coping with demands while finding and securing joy in life. Throughout, Parker notes that whenever she is overwhelmed by the responsibilities of a journalism career, marriage, and motherhood with three children, she thinks of slave women with backbreaking dawn-to-dusk demands, and she is renewed. A heartfelt and probing look at issues of race and gender. Vanessa Bush
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
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10 of 12 people found the following review helpful
By Michelle
Format:Hardcover
Lonnae O'Neal Parker's book 'I'm Every Woman' was talking to women just like me -- women who are working hard, raising children and not getting enough time to play, let alone play hard. I love that she ties our modern day struggles to those of the hard-working black women before us. Not only did her stories of bartering with her husband resonate with me, but I learned something about the women I come from. It's nice to get that in a book that is largely about an author's life. So many authors just feed us their opinion without backing it up in history or fact, or anything except 'this is how I feel.' Bravo Lonnae O'Neal Parker. I know what 'every woman' in my life is getting for Christmas! Great read!
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
Letter to Lonnae- I LOVE this book.--a Must Read for Black Women of Today
May 22, 2006
By Kelley C.
Format:Hardcover
Hello Lonnae,
Thank you again for signing my copy of "I'm Every Woman" at the Professional Business Women of California conference at the Moscone center. I really enjoyed your perspective on motherhood and the ever-elusive perfect mother load balance. When you signed my copy, I promised to write to you if I enjoyed the book. So here's my attempt to keep that promise.
I love the book.
From the first page I have been glued to every beautiful sentence. This book is art. Your story is my story. (Down to my Dona Rose who keeps up with my baseboards and babies.) Thank you for telling it in a format more poetic, musical and thoughtful than I ever knew possible. As an attorney, mommy and wife of a very in love husband I appreciate your candor and wit applied to our shared history and future. Thank you for taking the time to research and recite your findings and insights in the proper context. It brings a real depth to the work.
As I have read the book I have laughed, nodded in agreement, said "amen" and even welled up. I too see my ancestors smirk and raise a brow at what I often shamelessly feel is my hard life; To wit: my commute (to a great job), my children (healthy, robust and off the charts intellectually), and of course my husband (who loves to love me). Poor me. Right. Thanks for helping me keep it real.
As the direct descendent of a lovely tall black woman who was "kept" by a white man in the deep south of the early 1900's, I enjoyed your gift of a new understanding of Great Grandma's real power over her situation. She was not a victim of circumstance, but rather a well supplied provider of a good life for 6 chillen' who could pass if they wanted to.... Read more ›
Thank you again for signing my copy of "I'm Every Woman" at the Professional Business Women of California conference at the Moscone center. I really enjoyed your perspective on motherhood and the ever-elusive perfect mother load balance. When you signed my copy, I promised to write to you if I enjoyed the book. So here's my attempt to keep that promise.
I love the book.
From the first page I have been glued to every beautiful sentence. This book is art. Your story is my story. (Down to my Dona Rose who keeps up with my baseboards and babies.) Thank you for telling it in a format more poetic, musical and thoughtful than I ever knew possible. As an attorney, mommy and wife of a very in love husband I appreciate your candor and wit applied to our shared history and future. Thank you for taking the time to research and recite your findings and insights in the proper context. It brings a real depth to the work.
As I have read the book I have laughed, nodded in agreement, said "amen" and even welled up. I too see my ancestors smirk and raise a brow at what I often shamelessly feel is my hard life; To wit: my commute (to a great job), my children (healthy, robust and off the charts intellectually), and of course my husband (who loves to love me). Poor me. Right. Thanks for helping me keep it real.
As the direct descendent of a lovely tall black woman who was "kept" by a white man in the deep south of the early 1900's, I enjoyed your gift of a new understanding of Great Grandma's real power over her situation. She was not a victim of circumstance, but rather a well supplied provider of a good life for 6 chillen' who could pass if they wanted to.... Read more ›
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
By AC Rice
Format:Hardcover
Drawing on historical figures that are well-known and little known, plus women of her own family, O'Neal Parker has written a wonderful book that brings me from where we were to where I am now as a black woman in America. Working and married, (although not with children), I found each chapter had a lesson to teach and offered comfort in knowing I am not alone.
O'Neal Parker's thoughtful research in bringing us black women of history is especially welcome.
Excellent work that I will share with my friends, both black and not.
O'Neal Parker's thoughtful research in bringing us black women of history is especially welcome.
Excellent work that I will share with my friends, both black and not.
3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
By Mechelle
Format:Hardcover
I thoroughly enjoyed this book because it speaks directly to my generation. Often, books that are about mothers, mommy-wars or the like are written by older women or by authors I have absolutely no connection to other than the fact we have children. I could relate to this book on so many levels and her historical references, specifically from the eighties, are right up my alley. This book is definitely on my gift giving list!
4 of 6 people found the following review helpful
By J. Ficklin
Format:Hardcover
I truly enjoyed reading Parker's book, styled really as a collection of essays. Her social commentary is insightful and refreshing. She supports her observations with an impressive array of sources, reflecting research that spans sources from the 19th, 20th and 21st centuries. Her prose is engaging and evocative. When she writes: "Or to convey the ritual constant -- sometimes affirming, sometimes tearful -- stretching back over all the generations we remember, of planting a daughter between your knees and trying to bring a diasporic sensibility to the Africa growing from her head," she takes me back to Saturday "hair-fixin" nights during my childhood. Although it speaks loudest to African American women, this is a book for everyone. I plan to lend my copy to a Caucasian working mom, as I find myself already quoting Parker to encourage my friend on days when it's tough to be Every Woman.
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
This product is exactly as advertised. I have nothing to complain about with the product or the service, both were good.
By smg
Format:Hardcover
It took me much longer to read "I'm Every Woman" than I would have liked, but it's not because of the book. Rather, it's because of my lifestyle--full-time job, mother, etc.--so I tend to lack time for ME.
I'm not complaining, I have a great life, and Lonnae's story was proof of that. The book is REAL. It's honest. It's refreshing. It captures various aspects of my life and many other women that I know. I thoroughly enjoyed this book. Excellent work, Lonnae.
I'm not complaining, I have a great life, and Lonnae's story was proof of that. The book is REAL. It's honest. It's refreshing. It captures various aspects of my life and many other women that I know. I thoroughly enjoyed this book. Excellent work, Lonnae.
4 of 30 people found the following review helpful
By Tola
Format:Hardcover
Lonnae O'Neal Parker is a successful woman who swiftly juggles her work and family life. In her book I'm Every Woman, she attempts to describe her life, her role models, her youth and finally her marriage and family. She also reminds the readers of the history of African Americans, which helps to understand her background a little bit more and the reason for writing the book.
According to O'Neal Parker, the life of African American women in the States is not easy. They have to work much harder then white women to be successful, they have no good role models, they are challenged in everyday situations. To prove her point, the author uses the words "black" and "white" all the time to show how white women have everything handed to them on a golden plate. After reading the first half of the book I couldn't help noticing how angry it made me feel. It should not be about being black or white. It should be about being a good human being. I don't agree with a lot of her arguments. She says there are no good black role models. How about Oprah? Look at the audience during one of her shows. Do you see mostly black women. No! White women all over the place. And they have no problem having her as a role model, whereas for Lonnea O'Neal Parker it is extremely difficult to look up to non-black women.
I found her book to be really difficult to enjoy. I would compare her writing style to constant droning and nagging. I must say it's not a book I was expecting to read.
According to O'Neal Parker, the life of African American women in the States is not easy. They have to work much harder then white women to be successful, they have no good role models, they are challenged in everyday situations. To prove her point, the author uses the words "black" and "white" all the time to show how white women have everything handed to them on a golden plate. After reading the first half of the book I couldn't help noticing how angry it made me feel. It should not be about being black or white. It should be about being a good human being. I don't agree with a lot of her arguments. She says there are no good black role models. How about Oprah? Look at the audience during one of her shows. Do you see mostly black women. No! White women all over the place. And they have no problem having her as a role model, whereas for Lonnea O'Neal Parker it is extremely difficult to look up to non-black women.
I found her book to be really difficult to enjoy. I would compare her writing style to constant droning and nagging. I must say it's not a book I was expecting to read.
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