I'm No Saint: A Nasty Little Memoir of Love and Leaving [Hardcover]

Elizabeth Hayt (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 3, 2005

Elizabeth Hayt entered her marriage with reservations. Once there, she found herself drowning in an ocean of wifely and motherly duties, and at 35, felt there had to be more to life. But she was terrified when her husband announced their marriage was over. She responded by ricocheting from one high-powered man to another in a post-marital celebration of dating that rivals anything Samantha Jones had to offer. From stripteases before media moguls to attempts at reaching the emotional core of Manhattan's most lusted-after bachelors, Elizabeth revels in revealing the sex life of true players in the sexual politics of New York before finding love in a truly unlikely candidate, and more importantly, finding her own identity and self-esteem in the process.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Starred Review. What keeps the reader's interest from page one of this fiery memoir is not the explicit sex scenes or the family drama, but an admiration for Hayt's sheer chutzpah in jumping into life headfirst. Now in her mid-40s, the author, who writes for the New York Times, among other publications, considers no detail sacred as she recounts her failed marriage (she was 35 when she and her husband separated; 43 when they finalized the divorce), and her numerous subsequent sex partners, cosmetic surgery and trials as a mother and emerging writer and art critic. While it may be hard for some to respect a person whose activities are fueled not only by desire but also by drugs, Hayt's honesty about her struggles as a woman who married early without a chance to discover her own path in life will resonate with many. As Hayt hits bottom with an addiction to cocaine, a love lost and a master's thesis due, she wonders if "anyone else was as sick of listening to me as I was." Luckily for readers, Hayt decided to pursue her dream of writing with a passion she once directed toward her love of excess. This memoir will speak to women who have taken on society's role as "wife, mother, and teacher" only to feel as though they were "passive concessions to someone else's expectations."
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Review

'What keeps the reader's interest from page 1 is not the explicit sex scenes or the family drama, but an admiration for Hayt's sheet chutzpah in jumping into life head first. This memoir will speak to women who have taken on society's role as 'wife, moth --This text refers to the Paperback edition.

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 304 pages
• Publisher: Grand Central Publishing (October 3, 2005)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0446531944
• ISBN-13: 978-0446531948
• Product Dimensions: 9 x 6.1 x 1.3 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (45 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,249,884 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

20 of 26 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Immature, December 24, 2005

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MotherLodeBeth "MotherLodeBeth" (Sierras of California) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: I'm No Saint: A Nasty Little Memoir of Love and Leaving (Hardcover)

Had heard rumblings of the books from therapist friends and a couple editor friends, none positive. But I like to read for myself and make up my own mind.

To be honest I didn't find the book as one reviewer noted, to be 'hilarious journey of sex, drugs, marriage, dating after marriage, child-rearing, career hunting and surviving life on the Upper East Side of Manhattan.'

And no I do not think as another reviewer wrote 'Everyone (young/old, male/ female,single/married etc) will love this book.' Simply because I found it a terribly sad book about a terribly sad woman, who uses herself and others for what amounts to a quick fix.

Unless you consider allowing men who don't like you, much less respect you to bed you and pay you like a prostitute and then complain about the customer and what he got from you to be sexy or bright.

I don't find abortion, drug use funny at all and I think anyone who sees the author as a devoted Mom, had better rethink what devoted means since to me it means being a good role model and putting ones childs needs ahead of ones own lusts and greed. One can be sexy, brillant, exciting and not loose. The author doesn't come off as the type.

And I agree 100% with Ada Calhoun an editor at Nerve.com who wrote in the NYTimes book review section 'And her sex scenes are both clinical and vulgar'. Actaully felt the need to take a shower after reading the book. Some people need to keep their lives private.

6 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars A Cautionary Tale, and an Old Sad Story, May 29, 2006

By 

Secular Humanist Survivor - See all my reviews

This review is from: I'm No Saint: A Nasty Little Memoir of Love and Leaving (Hardcover)

While the cast of characters in this story whirling around Ms. Hayt, the protagonist, are the overly educated, upwardly mobile denizens of New York City and its suburbs; with the fast-talking and the intellectualism and all eyes focused on seats of power; this memoir, in the final analysis, details a old sad story, and it's this:

That if you don't understand in your gut that lasting love and fulfillment in this life comes from the giving and not from the getting, you will wind up alone and feeling unlovable which will keep you alone.

Lasting love begins by selectively allowing other people all the way in to your very soul -- that means finding others who you believe may be worthy, evaluating whether they seem to have some real interest in knowing who you really are, and then gradually revealing your most private inner thoughts and dreams and cares and woes to those people, and then evaluating, by their words and actions, whether they really do care. If they do, you will feel cared about, and the feeling that you are cared about is so unbelievably wonderful that it will inspire you to allow those selected individuals in even further. This trust of allowing others in is the highest form of giving, which will engender trust from those people, and they will allow you in. And this is the way bonding happens, spirits intertwine, and love happens. And then you don't need lots of food, drugs, gambling, booze, etc., etc. to feel alive, because you'll have the real thing, which is true love, which really means feeling deeply cared about by another and knowing that the other person feels deeply cared about by you. Again, it doesn't come from running around trying to please others. Anyone can spread their legs. Anyone can learn to make gourmet dinners. There's no giving in that; there is no exposure of self in that; there's no trust in that. To get the fulfilling, lasting love, you must allow others all the way in and trust that the frightened, scarred, insecure, and highly imperfect soul inside you is wonderfully lovable as is. This is the old story that has always been true, and memoir will tell you what happens to people who don't understand this very fundamental emotional truth.

10 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars Bourgeois Scratching, December 21, 2005

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DS (Manhattan) - See all my reviews

This review is from: I'm No Saint: A Nasty Little Memoir of Love and Leaving (Hardcover)

A "blog" by a person of privilege who believes that spreading her legs or her lips is the ticket to catapulting her spirit beyond the boredom of a bourgeois "life." Connection or commitment (to family, friends, husband and child or just about anything)

is constantly trumped, in Hayt's... err ...mind by scratching her itch. Truly a remarkable admission of breaking "taboos" by someone who values confessional tales of grabbing, stroking, pulling, licking or humping as perhaps the most heroic set of actions available to the upwardly mobile with education,money and opportunity. Oh, there are drugs and deadlines, too.