Customer Reviews

I'm Perfect, You're Doomed: Tales from a Jehovah's Witness Upbringing

5 star:		(28)
4 star:		(25)
3 star:		(12)
2 star:		(7)
1 star:		(7)

 

 

Kyria Abrahams' I'm Perfect, Your Doomed, is a hilarious look at her youth as a Jehovah's Witness. With impeccable wit, she explores the precepts of the religion, as well as what her childhood was like immersed in it. At first, she doesn't question anything, and wants to obey every single rule because that's all she's known. It's clear from the first few chapters that part of being a Jehovah's Witness is about only associating with other Jehovah's Witnesses.

She takes us on a tour of the kinds of people she grew up with as part of her worship, seemingly full of eccentrics. Of one man, whom the congregation strongly suspected was gay, she writes, "We all know I'm sublimating my true sexuality, he seemed to be saying, so let's at least have a laugh about it. Also, I am dying inside." Sex, in fact, proves to be what ultimately gets her disfellowshipped; she has an affair, but when she tells her husband, he wants her to stay. She's young, alone, and has turned to cutting and alcoholism, neither a happy topic, but both she manages to use her humor to cut through what could be a very sad story. In this way, Abrahams manages to mock herself and her situation, while making for an engaging story. She winds up finding herself within the slam poetry scene, full of its own eccentrics, but of a different sort. The gap between her former life and her poetry one is powerful, and she makes it clear that she's struggling (not stumbling, the Jehovah's Witness term for causing someone to falter from their faith) with who she really is, outside the confines of what she's known her whole life.

Abrahams takes us inside her life as a Jehovah's Witness, from going door to door to recognizing, as she gets older, just how different she is from her peers. When she witness a birthday party, she's genuinely shocked that it is not the bacchanalia she's been prepared for. This and many other revelations cause her to slowly lose her grip on the religion. She doesn't portray it as a single catastrophic event, but a slow realization, via the Internet (remember AOL chat rooms?) and a stint in a mental hospital, that she is not happy and wants to try something new.

Some of her best lines have nothing to do with Jehovah's Witnesses; they're just plain funny. "I knew the snowsuit was embarrassing and almost always unnecessary, but it was like wearing a warm mug of cocoa over my entire body."

We don't quite get to find out how she came to be a comedian, but that's okay. Her glossary at the end offers more than enough humor (in fact, numerous laugh out loud moments). Feel free to read it first. Of "Field Service," the practice of preaching door-to-door, she writes, "Possessing a quiet reverence for creation and a personal sense of the divine, only without the quiet or personal part."

I would have liked to know what her current spiritual beliefs are and if she has any contact with her family (presumably not since she's been disfellowshipped), but she manages to end on a hopeful note, one that sees her starting life over. While I'm sure Jehovah's Witness who might read this (even though they're not supposed to) would find it potentially offensive, I don't think Abrahams' humor is meant to completely poke fun at her former religion. Rather, she knows it's an oddity amongst most Americans and yet was still involved with it for just over half her life.

this book made me deeply sad while at the same time deeply comforted..
unlike the author i wasn't raised from birth as a witness but i spent a little more than 20 years as one.. from about 14 to 35 years of age.. my expierence differs in some aspects but what is consistent in all former witness stories is that upon deciding you no longer want to remain a witness (regardless of your reason) you cease to exist to those you formerly called family.. poof! you're gone from their lives.. those who once loved you no longer speak to you.. you are cut off as if you had died.. except you havnt.. you are alive and well and maybe, just maybe, a better person.. but that doesn't matter..
as my aunt who raised me from 14 years of age said "it would be a compromise of my faith to continue to speak to you"..
if i returned to the fold all would be forgiven but barring that she could no longer have anything to do with me.. and she hasn't..
i cried with sadness and relief when i read the last paragraph of this book:
"these worldly, godless poets had loaned me money when i hadn't asked for it and had given me a place to stay.. when the people i had known for 23 years stopped talking to me, the people i had known for 23 days helped me move"
this was my expierence as well.. when my family completely turned away from me it was a "wordly family" who took me in.. they never asked where i came from or why i was alone in the world.. they just took me in and loved me as if i were one of them.. amazing..
the author does a beautiful job of laying bare her tormented soul while a witness and then the difficulties of trying to fit into a world she knows absolutely nothing about.. the real world.. its a mysterious place to those of us raised in a closeted society like J.W's.. i applaud those who despite not knowing how to live in the world take a leap of faith and jump anyway.. its terrifying and intimidating and overwhelming but the feeling of freedom, of being able to finally breathe is worth every scary moment.. as this author confirms you will find your way.. people will help you and there is good in this world..

Kyria Abrahams was born and raised as a Jehovah's Witness. For anyone familiar with the religion, her upbringing was fairly normal. She was not allowed to celebrate birthdays, Christmas, Thanksgiving, or any other holiday. She was also raised "knowing" that Christ's new way of things was on it's way and that the world was going to end at any time. Until her disfellowship she didn't think that she could survive without the hand of Jesus guiding her. This book takes an almost cynical look at her life. It also is complete with a glossary of common Jehovah's Witness terms the rest of us may not be familiar with.

I think the book was great. I lived part of my life with my grandmother and aunt who were Jehovah's Witnesses. Many of the things Kyria talked about in her book brought back some memories that I had all but forgotten. It was like I was taking a weird walk down memory lane. I think this was a great look at what life is like as a Witness, granted I had some "insider knowledge". Mrs. Abrahams uses wit and humor to explain some drastic events in her life. I loved the story, liked the writing, and I really connected with the characters. Overall it was a very good story!

As a former Jehovah's Witness who has read nearly every memoir that has been published by a former JW, I have to say that this book is my favorite. Ms. Abrahams captures not only the facts about life as a young JW, but also the mood and feelings that accompany that life. It's a fact that the majority of young people raised as Jehovah's Witnesses do not remain with the movement, and this book shows why that is the case. The incredible legalism, the endless rules, the constant busybodying make life unbearable for any Witness who doesn't devote every waking second to the organization or who dares in the least to bend the rules. I laughed and cried reading this book, because it is so on target with my own experience and that of others whom I knew. In this touching and hilarious memoir, Ms. Abrahams brings to life the JW experience as only someone who has lived it could. I highly recommend this work to anyone who is interested in the inner world of Jehovah's Witnesses, and especially to anyone who is thinking of becoming involved with that group. Forewarned is forearmed.

Before reading this book I read the reviews already posted. Being a former JW myself, I thought it would be "refreshing" to read about this cult (who parades around as a legitimate religion) from a humorous standpoint. At first I was laughing out loud at her descriptions of doctrines and procedures as I had experienced them in the same way. Odd as they sound all these years later, somehow we all bought into them. As the book progressed and the author covered more of the darker things, it was less funny and I felt old pangs of negative feelings arise. I do think she was raised in more of a liberal atmosphere than many JWs are, so this gives the impression that JWs are more main stream than they really are. (Example, most JW parents would not even say the word "damn," and getting counseling from outside the religion is not usually condoned.) She did indicate how abusive parents are (both physical and mental) to their children, and she seemed to handle it better than many of us. We did not view ourselves as "special," but more "different" in an "outcast" sort of way. The treatment of disfellowshipped ones can actually be worse than she describes as her family did not entirely cut her off. Thank goodness for her she did not have children while married to a JW or else she would have more sad/bad stories to share. Not all JWs turn to drugs and sex when leaving, but the effect of years of brainwashing can be overwhelming and very difficult to handle. The process of being "dead" to one's family members and the only friends one has ever known (and been allowed to have) is devastating. Suicide is not uncommon, so it's understandable that other vices are used as replacements. And, after finding out the real "truth" that "worldly" people are not out to murder or rob you, she learned that true friends accept you for who you are and are there to help you whenever you need it. (Not only if you follow their rules and do what they want you to do.) That seems to be the biggest surprise to all of us when we manage to leave, and that is how she chose to end the book. That is not the end of her story because that signifies a new beginning. I was disappointed that she did not give us more information on her life now after coming to that conclusion. Maybe a sequel someday after she gets to be a normal, worldly person, making non judged mistakes and learning life's normal lessons for awhile, perhaps? Worth the read.

I'M PERFECT, YOU'RE DOOMED is a hilarious book. I come from a Catholic family, but early in my childhood one of my older sisters became a Jehovah's Witness. I always wondered what it was like for my nephews to grow up as a Witnesses, but of course I could never ask such a thing. Thanks to I'M PERFECT, YOU'RE DOOMED, I now have a sense for what they experienced.

It takes a lot to make me laugh. But this book had me literally laughing out loud several times. I loved the author's discussion of the 144,000 people who are going to go directly to heaven. (I remember attending a Memorial and wondering why no one ate the unleavened bread but instead it was just passed around the room.) And I loved the very apt descriptions of the Watchtower publications with their naive painting of lions lying down with lambs, next to geisha and sheiks who converse next to African pygmies with a basket full of parrots. And it's fascinating that the author's mother is Jewish, because it seems that a pragmatic Jewish sense of humor is present throughout the book. In fact, this book is not really so much an autobiography as it is a memoir in the tradition of Jerry Seinfeld's Seinlanguage. The author is a comedienne, so maybe this is a stringing together of her stand-up material.

While I believe in freedom of religion, do not discriminate against Jehovah's Witnesses and have in fact always found them to be some of the nicest people in the world, their dogma always left me scratching my head. This author articulates so beautifully so many of the concerns and questions I always had about the religion. I mean, I was eight-years-old, back in the 1980s, when my sister started telling me that the world was going to end within a few years.

The religion which is now known as Jehovah's Witnesses began in the 19th century as part of a wave of Fundamentalism which was sweeping America, the same movement which had led to the formation of the Millerites, Latter-Day Saints, and other groups whose teachings focused on the belief that the world was in the "end-times".

In the 130 years since, Jehovah's Witnesses have become known for several controversial positions, including refusal to accept blood transfusions, refusal to celebrate holidays or birthdays (but oddly, seeing no problem with baby showers, wedding showers, wedding anniversaries, graduation parties or funerals), refusal to serve in the armed forces, refusal to vote, and spreading their beliefs by door-to-door distribution of their own Bible-related literature.

I have attended school with, and worked with many JW's over the past 35 years, and still have some family members who are members of this religion. And for several years, I WAS one of these people.
I left when I saw them repeatedly changing doctrines which, only months before, had been taught as "The Truth". They claim to be guided by "Holy Spirit". If this is true, then either they are unable to understand what "Holy Spirit" is telling them, or "Holy Spirit" is very confused.

Casual research of their own publications on the internet confirms that their teachings on major doctrines have flip-flopped back and forth numerous times. If there was ever as case of "the blind leading the blind", it is with Jehovah's Witnesses. Major points such as the condition of the dead, who will be saved, how many will go to heaven, the requirements for baptism, attitudes toward those who don't share their beliefs, which offenses are worthy of "disfellowshipping", how congregations are governed, and even what types of sexual relations husbands and wives may enjoy together have vacillated and wavered over the years.

They are completely unable to answer questions such as "If you had 'The Truth' before, why was it necessary to change doctrines? And how can you know that you have 'The Truth" now, and that the doctrines you have now won't be changed next week"?

"I'm Perfect, You're Doomed" is a first-hand account of what it was like growing up as one of Jehovah's Witnesses. Kyria describes how living with the belief that, any day now, God is going to destroy 99.99% of the human race leads believers to logic-meltdown and resulting irrational, self-destructive behavior.

I had already been away from the religion for many years when I learned of Kyria's book, and reading it I saw she had experienced many of the same issues and questions which I had faced. The events and situations she describes sounded so familiar, even if they didn't all happen to me personally, they certainly happened to others who I had known. I realized that, in many ways, we were kindred spirits. Even though I've never met her, I empathize with her very deeply and consider her as my sister in trials endured.

Readers will learn how the parent organization, the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society, discourages followers from pursuing higher education, thus condemning them to a lifetime career of menial jobs. Association with anyone not a member in good standing is also frowned upon heavily, because they don't want followers exposed to other opinions, worldviews, or sources of information, other than that which comes directly from their headquarters. Reading literature critical of the church is expressly forbidden, including THIS book.

According to the Pew Forum survey, Jehovah's Witnesses have the largest turnover rate of any religion, with 63% of those raised in the faith leaving by adulthood. Kyria makes it very clear why this is the case. I'm certain the rate would be even higher, if not for the numerous mind-control techniques employed by "the Organization".

This book is absolutely fascinating, very often funny, and at times, moving. If you or any of your family or friends are one of Jehovah's Witnesses, you NEED to read this book. HIGHLY recommended.

This book was terrific. A mix of the hilarious and the heartbreaking, I was surprised to see how many stories mirrored my own JW upbringing. I highly recommend this book to anyone. If you've had some experience with the Witnesses, most definitely pick this up- but even if you haven't, you'll find the author's story to be engaging.

I really enjoyed this book. It's not out sending a message that is really negative towards Jehovah's witnesses... it just is the story of a girl with a dysfunctional family and belief system that shaped the creation of her life path, besides... Kyria is really funny. I at times disliked Kyria's actions and her decisions, but I really feel like she was just a product of a screwed up religion and limited parental guidance (and I mean who here wasn't a teenager at one point??). Kyria offers no apologies, just the story in it's raw truth. Thanks for sharing it with us.

Abrahams shares her story about growing up a Jehovah's Witness in Rhode Island in a family that clearly needed more than the neighborhood Kingdom Hall could provide. Her parents are miserably married but unable to leave the marriage without risking being excommunicated, or, as the JW's put it, disfellowshipped. As Abrahams approaches pre-adolescence, where everyone has the angst ridden conviction that they are alone and the sole freak in a world of normalcy, she is forced to renounce holidays and Smurfs all for her religion's sake.

As she gets older, her sense of isolation and desperate need for community grows. Her friendships have a furious neediness and her own dysfunctions manifest in other self-destructive ways. That she eventually breaks away from a faith she never fully embraced is inevitable. How she does so is perversely fascinating as Abrahams holds nothing back, exposing her train wreck choices with enough humor to lighten up what could have potentially been an utterly depressing and despairing story.

Although the last few chapters seem to rush through to a not quite satisfying closure, over all the memoir is satisfying enough to make me wonder what happened next. Does Abrahams ever return to the Jehovah's Witnesses or does she choose to follow a different spiritual path? According to the single sentence blurb on the back of the book she is a standup comedian (not a surprise), spoken-word poet (and unfortunately never shares any of her good poetry but oddly chooses to share a typical teenaged attempt at verse), and web producer (I don't even know what this means because I'm pretty sure that the web was around long before she first used a computer so how can she possibly have produced it?).

I should offer one caveat in my review. I read the acknowledgments when I was more than halfway through the book and was pleasantly surprised to see the name of someone I know.