Customer Reviews

I'm Sorry

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Jay Krunszyinsky has written a passionate book on practical morality, in which he maps out a system to help develop core personal virtues by making acts of atonement whenever we fail other people. He is not concerned to argue the merits of his system against other forms of morality, but aims to convince by the clarity of his system and the wealth of illustrations he provides for different stages of personal development.

Jay Krunszyinsky's core approach to moral issues is broadly that described as 'virtue ethics,' that is, consideration of the chief virtues which contribute to a fulfilled and purposed life. He has clearly brought great insight to helping children and adults face profound scarring and damage, and find ways of healing. In the early part of the book he develops a thorough system for schools to use in order to "define behavioral expectations and allow children to evaluate their successes and problems." Teachers and parents will find this a valuable tool to reflect on, either applying it or measuring their own methods alongside it.

Building on this foundation of rationality, Jay introduces what his book's title is about - saying Sorry, "making atonement." For Jay atonement is intensely practical: "Through atonement or problem resolution you can take responsibility for hurtful actions and demonstrate acts of love, respect and honesty." (p 43)

The three core virtues mentioned here are really the heart of the book. Jay views them as applicable to us all - love, respect and honesty. They give substance to what he means by 'atonement': (try to) undo the damage you have caused (and will inevitably cause, like everyone does) by building up these three core virtues. In the heart of the book he illustrates how to 'grow' these virtues in ourselves and in the children and adolescents we parent or have responsibility towards, exploring 'owning' these virtues at the different stages of our personal development.

To end Jay invites his reader to develop a personal spirituality in some form, developing out of reflection on love, respect and honesty. This generalised approach is entirely consonant with the virtue ethics approach, for which the ultimate human goal is eudemonia, fulfilment.

The book will inspire anyone who genuinely wants to grow as a good, moral person, someone who wants to fulfil their life by improving other peoples' lives. I also sense it will speak particularly clearly to men, since it's such a 'hands-on' approach to relationship issues and personal growth, areas where women normally feel more comfortable.

This relationship book finally addresses the real issues in relationships. This book looks at development of children and why many relationships are not working out in the long run. This is a must read for all!