Images You Should Not Masturbate To [Paperback]

Graham Johnson (Author), Rob Hibbert (Author)

Book Description

Release date: February 1, 2011

Better than a cold shower-and a lot funnier.

Choke the chicken, spank the monkey, charm the snake-however you refer to it, none of the images in this book will encourage you to pleasure yourself. This deceptively simple and strangely addictive book presents a laugh-out-loud collection of random pictures virtually guaranteed to dampen the urge of even the strongest libido.
 

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Graham Johnson is a creative director at M&C Saatchi Sydney.
Rob Hibbert is an internationally-awarded advertising copywriter from Melbourne, Australia. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Product Details

• Paperback: 80 pages
• Publisher: Perigee Trade (February 1, 2011)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0399536493
• ISBN-13: 978-0399536496
• Product Dimensions: 5.6 x 0.2 x 7.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 4.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (31 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #9,372 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #19 in Books > Humor & Entertainment > Humor > Parodies
  • #57 in Books > Humor & Entertainment > Humor > Love, Sex & Marriage

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

96 of 97 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Good coffee table book, if you like having an awkward coffee table. February 4, 2011

By Kate Bryant

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

I got this as a housewarming gift for one of my friends. I find delight in random coffee table books and this one doesn't disappoint. The theme of "images you should not masturbate to" is pretty wide, so it's a good book to flip open to a random image for a chuckle.

I do feel that the title is a challenge. This book is daring you to go for a little self-lovin' to a picture that should technically make you slightly uncomfortable for doing so because it has clearly been labeled a no-no by this book.

I suppose this could be a downside. I mean, what if you buy this book for someone who is totally into crab claws pinching fingers? Then you've just given someone a gift that's going to make them feel kinda lame about their weird sexual preferences.

164 of 177 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars False Advertising (But I'm not complaining) March 14, 2011

By Mtoons

Format:Paperback

I own an extensive collection of pornographical books and videos and I am proud to say it is the only genre I read. Despite what the title says about the book being loaded with images that you shouldn't masturbate to, I bought it anyways to see how the rest of the world lives through reading a single page without the aide of some good old self love. Much to my surprise, I found that this book is actually one of the kinkiest collections of pornography I have ever laid eyes on. Just look at that man on the cover for example. One of my (many) fetishes happens to be naked old men chopping through ice with axes. Imagine my surprise when I saw that the cover of this very book caters to this specific taste. Thank you so much to authors Johnson and Hibbert for this amazing book.

42 of 44 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Fapulous May 18, 2012

By Tim

Format:Paperback

I love a challenge but this book is the ultimate. You start masturbating to the old man with the axe chopping ice - easy. However by half way through most of the pages are stuck together and it gets harder and harder.... Highly reerected.

18 of 23 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Who knew I was doing it wrong? March 16, 2012

By Alon A. Aloni

Format:Paperback

For the past 34 years of my life, I always wondered why I never could masturbate properly. I would sit, do my best, but nothing would happen. I tried everything, doing it in public, doing it in my car, doing it when I was by my self, nothing seemed to work. I would see a hot girl during my day, and when I got home at night, I would think of a fat girl. I couldn't understand what was happening.

Since I am a frequent user of internet dating sites, I was on a really bad date and thought I would see if I could help the situation by mentioning my problem. And although we started arguing from the moment we met, I sent her a picture of me in my teens, and she sent me a fake picture, her insight was spot on. "Maybe you are thinking of the wrong things?" she said as she stormed out, forgetting to pay the bill and making me dine and dash.

So since Amazon sells stuff, I thought "Hum let me see if they have a book on what to think about when I masturbate" and when I typed that into the search bar this book popped up and it appeared that my life was saved...

After the book came, I could understand why for so long I was having issues. It was because of what I was thinking about when attempting to do the deed.

Now I am knocking them out with the best of them! Sometimes I masturbate for the heck of it, just because I can. And although the police seem to mind, I don't and everyday, 19 times a day on average I am jerking off! Thank you "Images you should not masturbate to" because of you I have learned the art of proper masturbating techniques that will last a life time!

7 of 8 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars key word "SHOULD" not December 11, 2012

By Matt L

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

Mind over matter on this one guys, if you're really determined, you can accomplish anything. if you can see it, you can achieve it. Funny book, not for reading in jail.

11 of 14 people found the following review helpful

1.0 out of 5 stars A total lie February 21, 2013

By Michael De Paulo

Format:Paperback

How can I even believe that this book contains images I should not masturbate to when I have already gone through an entire order of Stroke 29 and half a box of Kleenex just looking at the thumbnail on the page! I dare not click on the "look inside" link!

[...]

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A little awkward at first, but just ease into it June 25, 2012

By Martin Emde

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

I like this book. It's a good conversation starter. Most people seem to take it as a challenge which can be a little awkward at first but usually leads to a fun night. It's not exactly a book that you pick up and down and up and down a lot though.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Does it work? February 11, 2013

By David P

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

I bought this as a gift and as far as I know not a single picture has been masturbated too.