Customer Reviews

Immaculate Deception

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Petty thief and ladies man, Craig Connery has just been released from prison. He was in the slammer for two years. He is ready to put the past behind him but no mater how much you try to teach an old dog new tricks, he still will be up to no good. Craig is on his way to meet his parole office when a car goes speeding past him and crashes. The driver of the vehicle is dead. Craig assumes the man's identity and clothing. What Craig soon realizes is that the driver is none other than Catholic priest, Father James Kempster. Father Kempster is needed to help save a nursing home from being shut down in Australia. Can Craig pull off the biggest con of his life?

I recently have discovered British comedic novels. The ones I have read so far have been good. The one thing I like about them is that they are more uncensored about the humor than American novels. The humor is more on the dark side. So when I read the summary for Immaculate Deception, I thought this book would be a slam hit. Unfortunately, the book and the characters missed the mark for me. In fact I only got about half way through this book. There was a lot of crude suggestions and comments made by Craig. While I actually didn't have an issue with this, I was more disappointed that for some reason it seemed I missed the punch line as I didn't find myself laughing much and felt the story line moved very slowly for me. I do give kudos to Courtney J. Webb for trying to make me laugh with Immaculate Deception.

THIS BOOK IS NOT FOR PRUDES IT IS FOR PEOPLE WITH A SENSE OF HUMOR.
IT IS FUNNY, INNOCENT YET NAUGHTY.
BUY IT AND ENJOY IT

The stupidest decisions you make can somehow only get stupider. "Immaculate Deception" tells the story of one Craig Connery, a former convict who's fresh out of prison. When he's the sole survivor of a brutal car accident, something compels him to take a dead man's identity, which leads a lecher and a thief to soon become a man of the cloth. The change is not one easily taken as Courtney J. Webb produces a fine and entertaining story exploring the church and the weaknesses of a man.

The title of this humorous book tells you it is funny. Little do you know just how funny! I am a religious person and wondered if the book would be too wild for someone that is religious but when you start reading this book you have to put your personal feelings away or else don't read it! I am much better off because I did read all about some priests, nuns, bishops, cardinals, loose women and clergy, and a cast of many that have led a wilder type of life that contains much to have made those lives busy, entertaining, and in touch with lots of other real "characters."

Craig Connery had been in prison for something that he felt he was not guilty of. But he had served his time and on his day of release, he started moving fast down a road from the prison to get away from reporters and that joint as fast as he could. While resting he heard a car speeding down the road and swerving off the road into a field crashing and turning as it went on its killing way. Craig went to the car to see if he could help anyone in the car and did find a man alive, whispering to Craig words of "My brother" and then left this world. Craig started thinking about how similar this man appeared to himself and thought his life would be much better if he changed identification with this man. After all, the dead guy wouldn't know anything about the switch. So he did change his identity, switching his ID with the corpse. He walked on farther and from a phone booth he called the police so he wouldn't be anywhere near when the emergency and law authorities arrived. When he was asked his name he replied with his new name, Father James Kempster! You must realize that Craig had led a very loose life of sex, drinking, some criminal activity, and not many feelings for anyone he hurt during his life. Now he was a priest and used to using the worst language possible.

Father James found his way to where he lived, found his family that thought he looked different but they felt he did look fairly much the same so they kept quiet--most of the time. From here Craig's new identity as a priest sends him to Australia in a scheme where the local leaders of the catholic church made him a pawn to sell off a home where old folks lived, leaving them high and dry without a place to live. The adventures that Father James had on his way to Australia and in Australia will keep you laughing--not at him but with him as he learned his own way as a priest, how to prepare and present a service, and fool and confuse many that he met.

You will have non-stop laughs at a fake priest as he performs the duties of a priest in his own way and has lots of fun doing it. While traveling to Australia, a passenger on the airplane had an attack and he was called to give comfort to the victim. Thinking he was performing a service to help her, he actually did an exorcism, learned from the movie of the same name, that fortunately revived the woman and made him a hero. This is the type of humor throughout the entire book. Enjoy it. Thanks Courtney Webb for such a great read.

Immaculate Deception by Courtney J. Webb, takes the reader across several continents on Craig Connery's wild adventures. Transforming him from ex-con low life lusty man abandoned at birth by an alcoholic mother to a beloved priest of the highest order in the Catholic Church. A person adored by everyone except a corrupt bishop and a bitter nun determined to involve him in another scandal, a situation that would discredit him and land him in jail this time for life; church clergy with dark secrets to hide. Immaculate Deception and author Courtney Webb expose the corruption of the Catholic Church in a way that both sickens and makes you laugh as you wait to see how Connery will maneuver out of another predicament. His adventures begin with his release from prison where he anxiously waits for the guards to open his cell. Serving two years for a crime he did not commit, choosing to take the rap for his younger brother. He will soon be a free man. Upon release, hormones raging, he quickly embroils himself in a new conflict. After witnessing a deadly car crash he makes a split second decision that changes his life, personality and destiny, as well as the lives of everyone he meets. Connery, lean muscled and oozing sexuality seems to have a guardian angel watching over him. Through many travels and adventures he narrowly skirts trouble. The guardian angel is a good thing for Connery and the reader, as pages turn quickly to see how he will extricate himself from yet another dilemma. The author Courtney J. Webb makes it is easy to identify with Connery's big heart, love, and growing compassion for the people he meets. This fast paced story keeps the reader entertained reminding one of the deeply and sometimes insidious politics of the Catholic Church. Immaculate Deception is a good read and an important political novel exposing the sickness in the Catholic Church and the cover-ups in the name of "authority.' The book reminds the reader that celibacy in religious institutions is now obsolete, dangerous, and can bring out the worst in those who are representing and preaching the word of God guiding others to salvation; clergy that people depend on and defer to. Immaculate Deception by Courtney J. Webb is an entertaining and easy read that could be a hit on the big screen.

Ms. Webb has taken the comic novel and made it into a slapstick humor medium. Although normal in some comedy television shows and movies, slapstick is much harder to carry off and make believable without the visual action of the stage or screen. She does this with campy British and Australian humor rife with slang and bright funny people just doing what they normally do. Webb takes the reader away from their daily problems and transports them into the world of Craig Connery.
Craig, our protagonist, is recently released from prison as the story begins. Not knowing for certain what to do, when destiny intervenes, he is the lone witness to a fatal accident. He takes this opportunity and becomes a new person, trading identities with the deceased. In the following chapters he spends every waking moment in some kind of trouble. In the first chapter he thinks, "...Guess I'm friggin unlucky..." and he succeeds time after time to prove that all his luck is bad. All his plans and schemes tend to backfire in very unusual and humorous ways, while showing the true goodness he has within. From making a pass in a coffee shop and being forcibly removed, to crimes foiled by other criminals as incompetent as he is, Craig is the classic "Sad Sack" character, rendered completely believable and entirely hilarious.

Each character is vital and thoroughly entertaining with all their prejudices, biases, slang and crises. Elsie is the mother that isn't a mother, but always nonplussed in the face of any problem. Michael, Craig's younger brother, is full of himself, moxie, and only partially understood slang and incomplete sentences. The secondary characters fill humorous positions throughout from Fred the not-so-old old man to "the cardigan girl," Craig's dream-come-true, to the only policeman in town. The villains are all patently corrupt and licentious, while they provide sufficient drama to keep the plot moving. The conniving Bishop is always manipulating those around him for his own gain. The obnoxious nun has too many secrets and a downright bad attitude, and is caught up in her own ambitions and long standing regrets. And the priests, who play second fiddle to all of the Bishop's evil, are developed enough to be believed, even if they are all in bad to intolerable situations. Finally, the aged Cardinal is trying to live with his choices, and himself, as he prepares to meet his God in the afterlife. The characters have many prejudices and assume much about people in general from a very bigoted perspective. The British characters have deep prejudices against the Australians, while the Australians also view the British with contempt. Craig and his whole family hold the Catholic Church and religion in general, at arms' length. Even the Catholics in the book have so many faults that the religion seems to be falling apart with incompetence, maliciousness, and self-gratification. With all the characters only one priest comes through it looking competent and faithful.

Webb has developed a craft of making each clumsy accident, each faltering plan, and each scene come across as total slap-stick. Achieving comic antics through words alone reveals a talent that is rare and attention grabbing. She has taken something used very little and made it into a novel novel that flows well (pun intended).

The problems of the characters are believable but humorous in many ways, with sufficient twists and turns to keep the reader off balance throughout. The action is non-stop and the jokes, puns, and misspoken phrases keep laughter coming. There is even a chapter with double puns bouncing around, which is hard to do in normal conversation and be believed, but Webb handles it deftly.

There are some issues that American readers will have with the slang and unfortunate use of phonetically rendered speech. When Elsie says, "The heavenly Father is nooo a pouf ye nooo", it takes some time and breaks the flow of the story to stop and determine what all of this means. Perhaps a glossary, or at list short definitions at the back of the book would help this. Also, there should be a warning that this contains very adult content throughout, much along the lines of bawdy Benny Hill, the Marx Brothers and the Three Stooges humor. All of it is purely suggestive, and not explicit, but still could offend some readers and probably doesn't need to be read by minors. Finally this reviewer found the whole book to be difficult due the language barriers and the general comedy of errors. The prejudices and biases of the characters will offend some and put off even more.

This is an amusing romp, in the Ugly Betty style with a touch of French farce, dealing with a priest, who isn't really a priest, a bunch of Catholics clergy who don't act very Catholic and emigration to Oz. While probably not the book for your older religious relative, it's a terribly amusing look at hypocrisy.

Of course, there is a bit of redemption for the main character as well as a romance with someone sent to undermine him and expose him. There are all kind of machinations going on in an old folks home that is set to close to help a corrupt bishop get his trip to Rome. A pinch of Pom bashing in the old folks home reminds you its really Australian. Australian transvestites and lady-boys add the self-depricating element so needed in this kind of novel.

Its yet another one of those books that is terribly good fun and you don't want to ruin the plot when reviewing it. While the book is 415 pages, it's a quick read that never plods or bogs down. The fact it kept my attention while I read it on my Touch via PDF proof shows just how much I enjoyed it.

If you aren't easily offended and like a good farce romp then this just might be the book for you. Let's just say it's the antithesis of a Dan Brown novel. There are sometimes in life when simple and a bit silly is just what the doctor, or Priest, ordered

I was feeling very low after losing my job but decided to take myself away from it all with a good book. I saw a review on a blog by Andrew Ian Dodge, he called it the Dan Browns Davinci Code, antithesis. It sounded good.

I dont read much, so hoped it wasnt boring or complicated because I dont have much concentration, but OMG once I started it, I couldnt stop reading.

I laughed so much I hurt my ribs, this author is funny and unique. I want more Courtney J Webb, more and more.

I gave this five stars because it was brilliant, funny, witty and I forgot all about my troubles. I recommend it to anyone as a gift to someone who is feeling down.

A naughty grin is still plastered to my face (just thinking about it.).

Oh, my! Are you familiar with British comedies and their style of humor, especially Benny Hill? That was my first thought as I started reading this book. It is filled with raunchy writing and put-downs. If this were your only source of information about the Catholic church, you would think all the priests and nuns were sex maniacs, perverts, and schemers. However, once the story got more developed, I actually got interested in what was going on. It's highly unbelievable that a man could step into the shoes of a priest and get away with it, but it did make a funny story. He picks up `tips' about how to be a priest while watching The Exorcist on the flight to Australia. Against his will, Craig gets involved with trying to save the Catholic-run Australian nursing home where he's been sent. If he doesn't, the place will be sold and the elderly residents will have nowhere to live. They need to come up with $2 million and what better way than to rob a bank. What happens is hilarious and touching as they all work together to save each other.