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Impossible Motherhood: Testimony of an Abortion Addict [Paperback]

Irene Vilar
4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)

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Book Description

October 6, 2009
Irene Vilar was just a pliant young college undergraduate in thrall to her professor when they embarked on a relationship that led to marriage—a union of impossible odds—and fifteen abortions in fifteen years. Vilar knows that she is destined to be misunderstood, that many will see her nightmare as an instance of abusing a right, of using abortion as a means of birth control. But it isn't that. The real story is part of an awful secret, shrouded in shame, colonialism, self-mutilation, and a family legacy that features a heroic grandmother, a suicidal mother, and two heroin-addicted brothers. It is a story that looks back on her traumatic childhood growing up in the shadow of her mother's death and the footsteps of her famed grandmother, the political activist Lolita Lebrón, and a history that touches on American exploitation and reproductive repression in Puerto Rico. Vilar seamlessly weaves together past, present, and future, channeling a narrative that is at once dramatic and subtle.

Impossible Motherhood
is a heartrending and ultimately triumphant testimonial told by a writer looking back on her history of addiction. Abortion has never offered any honest person easy answers. Vilar's dark journey through self-inflicted wounds, compulsive patterns, and historical hauntings is a powerful story of loss and mourning that bravely delves into selfhood, national identity, reproductive freedom, family responsibility, and finally motherhood itself—today, Vilar is the mother of two beautiful children.

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Editorial Reviews

Review

 “Nuanced, intellectually ambitious and unnervingly frank.”—The Washington Post

“The strength of [Impossible Motherhood] lies in exposing the need to talk about abortion as a public health issue. It's impossible to take abortion out of the realm of morality, religion and politics and place it solely in the medical realm, along with diabetes and cancer and high cholesterol. But it is crucial to see it, first and foremost, as an issue of the human body: a woman's body.”—The Miami Herald
 
“Extraordinary and incendiary…a potential launching pad for a discussion about abortion that is more personal than political…Vilar turns her experiences into a reminder that the complexity of abortion extends beyond the scientific and political arenas…Impossible Motherhood doesn’t shy away from the wounds that are part of Vilar’s journey toward independence; it embraces them, making her remarkable story full of assurance but free of bitterness.”—Bitch Magazine

"Impossible Motherhood tells why [Irene Vilar] had 15 abortions in 16 years…How is that humanly possible in either sense of the word—the moral or the physical? In the telling, however, it seems as inevitable as sunrise...Vilar, who eventually escaped this horrid cycle to have two children, writes not to excuse, but to explain herself." —Elle Magazine

“In Impossible Motherhood Vilar does exactly what the best memoirists do: She tells us the truth about everything, even when the truth utterly confounds….[Vilar] tells [her story] to us with courage and grace and a true writer’s skill.”—The Oregonian

"Vilar does not mean to advocate on either side of the abortion debate; ranging far beyond the politics of abortion, her book is a controversial and intense tale of generational and national trauma…[Vilar is] a writer of brutal honesty and profound intelligence."—ForeWord Magazine

"Impossible Motherhood is like a journey into a harrowing underworld but guided by Vilar's gifts and her light we emerge in the end transformed, enlightened, and oh so alive." –JUNOT DIAZ , AUTHOR OF THE BRIEF WONDROUS LI FE OF OSCAR WAO

"I have never read a book like Impossible Motherhood, Irene Vilar's disturbing, heart-wrenching, and ultimately triumphant memoir, for the simple and understandable reason that no one of her gender has ever summoned the brutally raw, transcendent courage to write such a book–and yes, confess to such a troubling story." –BOB SHACOCHIS , AUTHOR OF EASY IN THE IS LANDS

"Irene Vilar's dramatic and beautifully drawn story forces the reader to confront the power of sexuality and procreation that often is the only power a young woman perceives she owns in this world.  IMPOSSIBLE MOTHERHOOD is profound, raw, wrenching, and honest to the bone.  Yet despite the title, its message is that no matter how intense the pain one has experienced, healing and redemption are in fact possible."—Gloria Feldt

About the Author

Irene Vilar

Irene Vilar was born in Arecibo, Puerto Rico. Her memoir The Ladies' Gallery (Other Press, 2009) was a Philadelphia Inquirer and Detroit Free Press notable book of the year and was short-listed for the 1999 Mind Book of the Year Award. She is a literary agent and editor of The Americas series at Texas Tech University Press.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 240 pages
  • Publisher: Other Press; 1 edition (October 6, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1590513207
  • ISBN-13: 978-1590513200
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.4 x 8.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #466,796 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

www.irenevilar.com

Irene was born in Arecibo, Puerto Rico. Her memoir The Ladies' Gallery (Other Press, 2009, originally published by Random House in 1996) was a Philadelphia Inquirer and Detroit Free Press Notable Book of the Year and was a finalist for Mind Book of the Year (UK) and the Latino Book Award. Her latest memoir, Impossible Motherhood (Other Press, 2009) won the 2010 IPPY gold medal for best memoir/autobiography and the Latino Book Award for women issues. Both memoirs explore generational and national trauma. Irene's work has been featured on NPR's Fresh Air, CBS-NYC, PBS-Boston, Vogue magazine, Washington Post, Los Angeles Times, New York Times Magazine, and on the cover of the New York Times art section. Her books have been translated to German (Aufbau Verlag 1998 & Hoffmann und Campe 2011), French (Balland 2010), Italian (Corbaccio 2010) and Spanish (Lengua de Trapo, Madrid/Buenos Aires 2012). Abroad Irene's work has been featured in Elle (UK) Vanity Fair (Italy), Liberation (France), Grazia (France, UK, Australia), Marie Claire (Italy), Madison (Australia), Republica/Tempo/Gazzetta del Sud/ (Italy) and on the covers of Tempi Magazine (Italy) and Irish Independent Sunday Magazine (Ireland). See: http://www.irenevilar.com/media/

Vilar was book series editor editor for Women and Jewish Studies at Syracuse University Press and from 2002 to 2005 served as founder and series editor of The Americas book series published by the University of Wisconsin Press. Currently she is series editor of The Americas at Texas Tech University Press. The series has published over forty books in translation in the last ten years being among the most important initiatives of this kind in the US (along with Dalkey, New Directions, Archipielago).

Vilar is literary agent for Vilar Creative Agency, and co-agent in the U.S. for Ray-Gude Mertin Literary Agency, an agency specializing in Spanish, Latin American, and Portuguese authors representing such notable writers as Nobel Prize-winner Jose Saramago.

A 2010 Guggenheim Fellow Vilar is also a participant of the Oxford Union Debate Society, being the first Puerto Rican to be invited to the prestigious union.


http://www.gf.org/fellows/16883-irene-vilar
http://www.publishersmarketplace.com/members/irvilar/
http://vilarcreativeagency.com/about/
http://www.irenevilar.com/about/

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
13 of 14 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Review originally published in "The Oregonian" November 8, 2009
Format:Paperback
I'll say it now: Irene Vilar had fifteen abortions in fifteen years. That's the blunt opening one-liner that fails to tell the whole story of this beautiful and brave book. Impossible Motherhood: Testimony of an Abortion Addict is a memoir less about fifteen abortions than it is the story of a young woman who never got enough love.

At eight, Vilar watched her mother commit suicide by leaping out of a car. At twelve, she read The Diary of Anne Frank and felt scarred--not from the horror of the Holocaust, but because she so deeply understood the plight of a girl who lived in an attic and had to ask permission "to exist in that smallest of holes." At seventeen, far from her home and broken family in Puerto Rico, she began a sexual relationship with her fifty-one year old college professor that lasted eleven years.

In Impossible Motherhood Vilar does exactly what the best memoirists do: she tells us the truth about everything, even when the truth utterly confounds. How was it that she could allow herself to conceive unwanted pregnancies over and over again? What compelled her to pursue and eventually marry the domineering man who insisted that to be with him Vilar had to "endure the burden of freedom" by remaining childless, yet rather than get a vasectomy preferred to stand by while Vilar--who was not only painfully young, but often suicidally depressed--had abortion after abortion? In prose that's searchingly honest and gorgeously wrought, Vilar takes us into the depths of her psyche and family history, daring to tell a story that's unsettling and complex and ultimately redemptive.
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars A Controversial Read February 21, 2010
Format:Paperback
Impossible Motherhood is the memoir of a woman who had fifteen abortions in fifteen years. Although many will find the author totally unsympathic, others will read her story and understand what motivated her. Irene Vilar lost her mother at age eight, when her mother opened the car door while the car was in motion, throwing herself out and killing herself in front of her child. Having learned from her mother that a female should be pleasing to others, Vilar stuffed down her feelings about this event and channeled her emotions into her schoolwork, succeeding to the point that she is accepted to college at age fifteen.

Leaving her family behind in Puerto Rico, Irene attends Syracuse University in the Northern part of the United States, an environment as different from Puerto Rico as is imaginable. At fifteen, she is left by her father at the college, knowing no one, with little money and little life experience. Her family experiences are bleak. Her father is an alchoholic, who cheats on all the women in his life. Two of her brothers are drug addicts. Vilar falls under the influence of a professor at the university and ends up staying with him for a dozen years. He is sixty years old when they meet, and Irene is sixteen. He insists on his freedom, never paying her way but insisting that she pay for her food, and half of any vacations, as well as paying him rent. Since a child would tie him down, he insists on no children. His basic rule was that he took but did not give back to anyone.

Irene's only rebellion, as she saw it, was forgetting to use her birth control. Her pregnancies were acts of rebellion against this overpowering influence, a way of asserting her independance.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Women: You Owe It To Yourself to Read This Book... February 2, 2010
Format:Paperback
Somewhere shortly after I began to read Impossible Motherhood: Testimony of an Abortion Addict by Irene Vilar, I turned to the back to see if there was an author picture. Such a beautiful woman, but with large sad eyes, even in this photo. As I read about her marriage, I wanted to alternatively "shake" her for allowing her husband to treat her so, and then "hug" her tightly as her mother and/or grandmother should have.

There is no doubt that a young 15-year-old woman who begins an affair with a much older man is searching for "something." There is both an honest account of her life with her husband, as well as a follow-up analysis of what was happening to her. Even though she later separated from her husband and went into the same type of defeating relationship with another man, by that time, Irene was already addicted--to abortion as a means of control.

Irene places her life within her cultural background. This is most significant--and not so significant. A need for women to gain some control over their own life has been documented for all women, not just one culture. I must say though that the activities about using the women in Puerto Rico to test drugs are a devastating reality that we must never forget! When will the time come when profits for corporations are no longer more important than people?

Childhood for Irene included her mother leaving the home in her early years. Two of her brothers were drug addicts, one dying from his abuse. Her father was a quiet alcoholic and while he seemed to be "there" for the family, his loss of his wife deeply affected the entire family.

When Irene was 15, she was allowed to go to the United States to begin college.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars A wonderful, sympathetic read
For those of us who have endured difficult and manipulative relationships that may be seemingly remedied by the ideal of offspring, this book is a wonderful read from a sensitive... Read more
Published 3 months ago by ReadingMaven
5.0 out of 5 stars A brilliant read!
A haunting yet brilliant book! I could not put it down. Vilar offers a beautifully written work of her life's enormous challenges.
Published 6 months ago by AHC
4.0 out of 5 stars Beautifully written...
For such a dark and controversial subject, Ms. Vilar writes with dignity and beauty. I believe the author is a courageous woman for writing about her experiences and to let us in... Read more
Published 9 months ago by SoCalGirl
4.0 out of 5 stars Cerebral and Engaging
A starkly written, deeply personal memoir depicting the journey of a young woman leaving behind her troubled home life in Puerto Rico and starting a life of madness with an man... Read more
Published 17 months ago by BemisReviewsBooks
2.0 out of 5 stars madea syndrome
Ok so explain this to me as if I am a two year old. The grandmother tries to shoot people in the congress under the misguided belief that this
will somehow free puerto rico of... Read more
Published 22 months ago by Diana Mehlman
5.0 out of 5 stars Brave and Breathtaking
Vilar possesses a brilliant intellect and a breathtaking and original grasp of her own psychology. As painful and exasperating as it was to read her testimony as the abortions... Read more
Published on January 22, 2010 by Julene Bair
3.0 out of 5 stars Impossible Motherhood: Testimony of an Abortion Addict
A frightening story of a woman with abandonment issues. Her mother committed suicide when Irene was very young. Read more
Published on November 30, 2009 by C. Dickens
5.0 out of 5 stars A new perspective...
I was not let down by this book - I am pro-life, but this book offered a new perspective that gave me more understanding on what a woman can go through when dealing with the hard... Read more
Published on November 16, 2009 by E. Bentz
5.0 out of 5 stars Haunting
Irene Vilar was born in Arecibo, Puerto Rico. Her first memoir, The Ladies' Gallery, was a Philadelphia Inquirer and Detroit Free Press notable book of the year and was... Read more
Published on October 18, 2009 by Paula Younger
5.0 out of 5 stars brutally honest, devastating and necessary
this is a book that everyone should read -- precisely because we can probably all agree that abortions are terrible things. Read more
Published on October 16, 2009 by Poetry Lover
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