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Impossible to Please: How to Deal with Perfectionist Coworkers, Controlling Spouses, and Other Incredibly Critical People Paperback – November 1, 2012


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Impossible to Please: How to Deal with Perfectionist Coworkers, Controlling Spouses, and Other Incredibly Critical People + Controlling People: How to Recognize, Understand, and Deal with People Who Try to Control You + The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to recognize it and how to respond
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 192 pages
  • Publisher: New Harbinger Publications; 1 edition (November 1, 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1608823482
  • ISBN-13: 978-1608823482
  • Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 5.9 x 0.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #398,241 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Cavaiola and Lavender have done it again! They have given us another perfect combination of psychological science and real-life applications to provide a highly readable guide to living and working with people who drive us crazy. Alive with examples and suggestions, this book is not only perfect for counselors and therapists, but also for anyone who deals with controlling perfectionists at home or on the job.”
—Richard Ponton, PhD, associate professor at Georgian Court University in Lakewood, New Jersey



Impossible to Please is a candid, informative, and thought-provoking study of the controlling perfectionist. Lavender and Cavaiola illuminate our understanding of obsessive-compulsive personality disorder while providing suggested actions for dealing effectively with these individuals at home, at work, and in the community.”
—Suzanne D. Mudge, PhD, associate professor and program coordinator of counseling and guidance at Texas A&M University



“After being in managerial and leadership positions for over 40 years, I wish I could say that I never had to deal with a perfectionist personality. Unfortunately, that is not the case. I have had experiences with toxic coworkers and, to say the least, they were indeed troublesome. Drs. Lavender and Cavaiola’s first book, Toxic Coworkers, was of great help during these trying times. Like their other books, Impossible to Please is filled with wisdom and insights into this challenging area. I strongly recommend this most practical and applicable book.”
—Louis A. Scheidt, PE, PP, president and CEO of Innovative Engineering, Inc.

About the Author

Neil J. Lavender, PhD, is professor of psychology at Ocean County College in New Jersey where he also maintains a private practice. He is coauthor of Toxic Coworkers. Neil, who is also an avid blogger, resides in Beachwood, NJ.

Alan A. Cavaiola, PhD, is a professor and member of the graduate faculty in the department of psychological counseling at Monmouth University. He is also a licensed psychologist and clinical alcohol and drug counselor. He is also the coauthor of Toxic Coworkers.

 


More About the Author

Neil J. Lavender, PhD, is professor of psychology at Ocean County College in New Jersey where he also maintains a private practice. He is coauthor of Toxic Coworkers and Impossible to Please. Neil,who is also an avid blogger, resides in Beachwood, NJ.

Customer Reviews

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See all 13 customer reviews
The book includes lots of practical advice.
Maggie T
I found this book to be very helpful in dealing with the controling perfectionist in my life.
Jill Seiter
I have been feeling depressed and also very enraged.
pursuetruth

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful By pursuetruth on March 2, 2013
Format: Paperback
I only wish I could have given this book more stars, it was exceptional.
I am the mate of a controlling spouse who I ALSO work with. This has been the source of significant stress, to say the least. I have been feeling depressed and also very enraged.
This book gave me so many strategies for making my situation at work and at home better. It showed me how to effect change EVEN THOUGH I cannot expect to change my controlling, perfectionistic mate. It gives great, real life scenarios and conversations, ways to communicate poorly, and efficiently, with the perfectionist.
This book is empowering without giving the impression that perfectionists are horrible, toxic people that need to be avoided at all cost. When you love the person, "getting out of a toxic environment" is so unhelpful, and I am so glad that so very much of this book is about boundaries and getting everyone's needs addressed.
Buy this book, you will NOT regret it.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Maggie T on January 9, 2013
Format: Paperback
Just learning that controlling perfectionism is a real personality disorder and that I am not alone in dealing with people who suffer from it has been really helpful for me. The authors of this book are so dead-on that you will feel like they have met the controlling perfectionist(s) in your life. The book includes lots of practical advice. Also useful for improving interpersonal skills in general. Highly recommended.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By valarie on November 14, 2013
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I did not agree with the approach that you should tip,toe around a controlling person as not to make them act worse
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Jill Seiter on April 15, 2013
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I found this book to be very helpful in dealing with the controling perfectionist in my life. I found that I was already using some of the techniques mentioned in the book. I pick my battles and I know that I can't win an argument because the CP is always right. This book tends to speak mostly of how to work around this type of person but gives little hope of the CP learning to behave differently. I found this rather disappointing, but I appreciate the part about seeking counseling and the advise that if the situation becomes unbearable that a couselor can help you navigate your way out of the relationship with a CP. This book brought me out of my depression by assuring me that I am not alone in my situation with a CP and that there are ways to cope and reduce my frustration and live a more peaceful coexistance. Thanks so much for the help!
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By Ru4truth on June 11, 2014
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This book really nails the truth down about perfectionists. The author really knows that of which he speaks!! Well written with PLENTY of examples that I found myself saying, "bingo!" as I read it.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Thank you to the authors for this wonderful gem. This knowledge has helped me understand the inexplicable behavior of my husband and some family members. It fit to a T. I'm now able to respond in a productive way when I feel stepped on. I wish I'd had it years ago.
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By Sha on November 27, 2013
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
The book makes some good points, but the way the quotes from other writers used in the book are pasted in greatly degrades the book. It seems as if the book was compiled on a copier where quotes were just inserted. Many have type to small to effectively read. This could have been done so much more professionally.
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