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In Praise of Messy Lives: Essays [Hardcover]

Katie Roiphe
3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (23 customer reviews)

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Book Description

September 4, 2012
This powerful collection of essays ranges from pop culture to politics, from Hillary Clinton to Susan Sontag, from Facebook to Mad Men, from Joan Didion to David Foster Wallace to—most strikingly—the author’s own life. For fans of the essays of John Jeremiah Sullivan and Jonathan Lethem.

NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY
The New York Times • The Wall Street Journal
 
Katie Roiphe’s writing—whether in the form of personal essays, literary criticism, or cultural reporting—is bracing, wickedly entertaining, and deeply engaged with our mores and manners. In these pages, she turns her exacting gaze on the surprisingly narrow-minded conventions governing the way we live now. Is there a preoccupation with “healthiness” above all else? If so, does it lead insidiously to judging anyone who tries to live differently? Examining such subjects as the current fascination with Mad Men, the oppressiveness of Facebook (“the novel we are all writing”), and the quiet malice our society displays toward single mothers, Roiphe makes her case throughout these electric pages. She profiles a New York prep school grad turned dominatrix; isolates the exact, endlessly repeated ingredients of a magazine “celebrity profile”; and draws unexpected, timeless lessons from news-cycle hits such as Arnold Schwarzenegger’s “love child” revelations. On ample display in this book are Roiphe’s insightful, occasionally obsessive takes on an array of literary figures, including Jane Austen, John Updike, Susan Sontag, Joan Didion, and Margaret Wise Brown, the troubled author of Goodnight, Moon. And reprinted for the first time and expanded here is her much-debated New York Times Book Review cover piece, “The Naked and the Conflicted”—an unabashed argument on sex and the contemporary American male writer that is in itself an exciting and refreshing reminder that criticism matters. As steely-eyed in examining her own life as she is in skewering our cultural pitfalls, Roiphe gives us autobiographical pieces—on divorce, motherhood, an emotionally fraught trip to Vietnam, the breakup of a female friendship—that are by turns deeply moving, self-critical, razor-sharp, and unapologetic in their defense of “the messy life.”
 
In Praise of Messy Lives is powerfully unified, vital work from one of our most astute and provocative voices.

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Editorial Reviews

From Booklist

In her latest essay collection, controversy-magnet Roiphe (Uncommon Arrangements, 2007) addresses a felicitous assortment of subjects, from travels in Asia to Jane Austen. The book’s enticing title stems from her analysis of the “enormous popularity” of the television series Mad Men and its cigarette-smoke-laced, alcohol-fueled interpretation of “the glamour of spectacularly messy, self-destructive behavior.” What’s most interesting is how Roiphe turns the camera, so to speak, on the socially correct, health-obsessed habits of today’s new puritanism, and on her feminist writer mother, Anne Roiphe, whose memoir, Art and Madness (2011) records her experiences during the Mad Men era. Roiphe is equally bracing—and hilarious—in her dissection of the Fifty Shades of Grey craze. Roiphe writes with an archer’s aim and a bullfighter’s bravado. While it’s true that the world she dissects is an elite one, it is also highly influential. And her cultural soundings do run deep, whether she’s critiquing incest in literature; sex scenes in Roth, Mailer, and Updike versus Franzen, Chabon, and Wallace; or, from a more personal stance, entrenched attitudes toward divorce and single mothers. --Donna Seaman

Review

“[A] devastatingly good new book . . . Ms. Roiphe’s are how you want your essays to sound: lean and literate, not unlike Orwell’s, with a frightening ratio of velocity to torque. . . . Among Ms. Roiphe’s gifts is one for brevity. She lingers long enough to make her points, and no longer. If I could condense my opinion of her new book onto a T-shirt, that Beefy-T would read: ‘Team Roiphe.’” —Dwight Garner, The New York Times

“Watch out, Camille Paglia! Your starring role as our leading literary provocateur might be threatened by 44-year-old Katie Roiphe, whose book In Praise of Messy Lives I’m sending to a dozen friends for Christmas. Daring, vivid, combative . . . the refreshing irreverence of her book might well be unique among writers of her generation.” —Francine du Plessix Gray, Wall Street Journal

“The 10 literary essays at the heart of In Praise of Messy Lives are wicked and endearing; the language is conversational and burnished to a hard shine.” —The New York Times Book Review

“Bracing . . . and hilarious. . . . Roiphe writes with an archer’s aim and a bullfighter’s bravado. . . . her cultural soundings do run deep.” —Booklist

“Fascinating, lively . . . Roiphe is a fine, serious writer. Her essays are surprising, interesting and sharp. . . .her voice is confident and consistent.” —Kirkus Reviews

“Roiphe’s writing is prickly and provocative . . . courageous, and most welcome when it cuts deep.” —Publisher's Weekly
 
“No sacred cow, exalted personage, or sanctimonious hypocrisy is safe from the sharp eye of Katie Roiphe. In In Praise of Messy Lives, she delivers timely, coruscating verdicts on everything from working women’s fantasies to Philip Roth to the rage of Gawker. An essential read for our cultural confusion.” —Tina Brown
 
“Katie Roiphe does not so much explode pieties as slice them open and prod their strands apart with equal parts rigor and transfixed, childlike curiosity. In Praise of Messy Lives represents a warm, freethinking, and satisfying embrace of the inartificial, the vexed, and the unruly.” —Alison Bechdel
 
“Katie Roiphe is one of the most insightful, exciting writers of her generation. She’s daring, fierce, and entirely original.” —Gay Talese

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 288 pages
  • Publisher: The Dial Press; First Edition edition (September 4, 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0812992822
  • ISBN-13: 978-0812992823
  • Product Dimensions: 5.7 x 1.1 x 8.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 14.1 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (23 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #217,976 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

3.8 out of 5 stars
(23)
3.8 out of 5 stars
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
17 of 19 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
I just finished reading In Praise of Messy Lives: Essays by Katie Roiphe. I found it to be enjoyable and intellectually stimulating. Since she writes one of her essays on people who comment on articles (could this be similar to those of us who review books of essays?), I want to be as civilized and articulate as possible. I chose to read and finish the book, therefore my comments should reflect that.

Ms. Roiphe writes about a wide range of topics. They include single motherhood and the public's perception of single mothers and their children; divorce and its impact on 'family'; betrayal; how great male writers write about sex; the fact that there has not been a comprehensive history of women's writing in America; the role of women behind great men; the impersonal nature of Joan Didion's memoirs; the fragility of Susan Sontag beneath her strong exterior; John Updike's being perceived as a misogynistic writer; Mad Men on TV; the popularity of Fifty Shades of Gray; Maureen Dowd; the repetitiveness and similarity of articles about movie stars; women not liking Hillary Clinton; parents who try to have perfect children are doomed for failure. This is only a small portion of the issues and topics that Ms. Roiphe writes about. As you can see, they are varied and interesting.

My two favorite essays were the ones on Graham Greene and writing about incest. In the essay about Graham Greene, she discusses her own personal interest in the writer and how she reflected on him during her travels to the far east. She explores the concept of transactions, especially how female companionship is so often for sale.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars "a failed conventional person" ? June 11, 2013
Format:Hardcover
First: "In Praise of Messy Lives," is a provocative, insightful, quite often funny and, in more than a few places, even wise book. I would have preferred "The Messy Lives Tour" for a title, but "In Praise of" does add a certain gravitas to the cause. The tour consists of thirty wide-ranging chapters in four sections, but don't worry about the official guide: readers can start the messy lives tour wherever they want and visit the varied sights in whatever sequence suits their disposition.

Along the way, Ms. Roiphe provides, together with much else, an intelligent assessment of sexual intimacy and its treatment in some of my favorite, if increasingly discredited, male novelists; offers insightful chapters on Joan Didion and Susan Sontag; ponders Fac(k)ebook, email, and Mad Men and; gets exasperated with Gawker. On a less positive note, her usually brief, but repeated forays into the question, And just what would [insert Feminist God from 60's Testament] think of that? did manage to grate on the nerves of this passenger.

Prominent among the messy lives is Katie Roiphe's own. Ms. Roiphe early-on sums it up: "I have two children, with two different fathers, neither of whom I am living with. It did take me a while to achieve quite this level of messiness, but I did it in the end." Not long after she concedes, "I am kind of a failed conventional person."

That introductory contention, that admission of failure is the source of my difficulty with this intriguing collection. To be clear on this: I don't doubt for a minute that Roiphe endured caustic, inappropriate and insensitive comments from friends and colleagues when they learned of her decision to have, and to raise her children. Nor do I deny that Roiphe's social network jumped at the chance to judge.
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3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Fizzles fast February 27, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
I thought the beginning of this book showed great promise, and I recommended it to several women friends before getting too far into it. And then it just fell flat, lost its point altogether and I gave up on it ...... So in fairness, I did not finish the book. That said, I generally will slog thru all but the worst once I make a book purchase.
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3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Goes against the grain February 24, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
This is the first book of essays that I have read. Different than short stories, for sure. Ms. Roiphe has a lot of opinions and she boldly shares them. Sometimes, it seems that she is trying to rationalize her decisions and opinions and convince the reader of something. I found myself wishing to shout to her, "Grow up!"
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8 of 13 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Terrible December 19, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
One or two of the essays are okay and have some insight. But the rest are really awful. She will make one point in the first couple of paragraphs and then belabor it over and over in a not very original way. I really expected something very good but thought these essays were extremely dull. I loved the subject and the one about the messy lives was good but not worth buying for one good one. Really a dull book. A rare book that I wish I had my money back. Dogmatic, pendantic and truly awful. The highest expectations for the dullest book of the year.
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4 of 7 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars No depth December 19, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
This was a collection of essays that seem to have been written in high school or college. A waste of time.
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0 of 1 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars MESSY STORIES May 18, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
I DIDN'T LIKE THE NEGATIVE ASPECT OF ALL THE STORIES. THERE MUST OF BEEN SOMETHING UPLIFTING IN THE AUTHOR'S LIFE.
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0 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars mixed but very good February 6, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
best essay was on single moms, really made the point that has neede to be made for decades on the subject. Also, what's so great about the status quo? She really confronts our biases. Other essays just good, not as great....
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Some Lives Are Messier Than Others
Excellent writer. Provocative insights into other books and authors and into today's cultural currents. Good material for discussion, book groups, self-analysis.
Published 1 month ago by Joyce S.
5.0 out of 5 stars Easy interesting read
I hadn't read anything of that style recently and it was interesting being pulled in the world of writers critiquing writers, the world of New York academics and literary figures. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Melanie H.
4.0 out of 5 stars great book
This is an enjoyable and interesting book. First few chapters draw you in and the later chapters go into more in depth essays.
Published 3 months ago by Grammy 7
3.0 out of 5 stars Extremely well written but not my "Cup o' Tea."
The title is a little misleading. Having a messy live, I was looking for a fellow "Messy." Not what I found at all.
Published 4 months ago by L. Kelsey
5.0 out of 5 stars I heart Katie Roiphe
I must have missed the "I Hate Katie" Wars because I was unaware of how much controversy some of her writing has provoked. Read more
Published 5 months ago by Darragh Murphy
4.0 out of 5 stars brilliant.. at times
Some of these essays are fantastic. In this collection of about 30, which have all different types of subjects, there are about 10 really good ones.
Published 5 months ago by G. R. Schaefer
5.0 out of 5 stars buy it--it's worth it.
really made me rethink some ideas. lively and well written. tho my fav of hers is still on the marriages of certain Victorians.
Published 6 months ago by Stephanie Richardson
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