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In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People Paperback – April 1, 2010

428 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews


After having read several books on different self-help topics, psychology books, psychiatry books, etc., I MUST recommend you buy this one, first. It cuts straight through the BS - neatly and cleanly. I have bought copies of this book for friends and can't recommend it enough. -- E. Adams, online purchaser

Don't be bossed around ever again!!! In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding with Manipulative People by George Simon, Ph.D. is a godsend to anyone who has ever questioned their own sanity while in any kind of a relationship with a controlling and manipulative person. -- The Aeolian Kid, an online purchaser

Dr. Simon teaches the mechanics of popular tactics used by manipulators and how you can identify and thwart their tactics so you can control the outcome. This book helped me with a person I had no choice but to see daily. After the end of every "friendly" conversation I felt depressed or insulted but could not figure out how this person was doing it. This book helped me to understand what was really happening. Dr. Simon's guidelines exposed this person and allowed me to take control. Because this person knows I can no longer be controlled, I now have--not a perfect relationship--but one that's better than the alternative. -- A Reader in Chicago

This book is like the decoder ring for the jumbled mess that is a manipulator's modus operandi. Do yourself a favor and get this book now. -- Christy, a reader in Missouri

It is sad that there are people out there that make life so much harder than it should be for others. Being able to identify such people in your life (both at home and at work) is very important and can be of invaluable help to 1) not go crazy yourself, and 2) take corrective action. Dr. Simon's book is written with amazing clarity. If you read only one book this year, read this one. -- JA0008, Online Purchaser

Book Description

Dr. George Simon knows how people push your buttons.  Your children--especially teens--are expert at it, as is your mate.  A co-worker may quietly undermine your efforts while professing to be helpful, or your boss may prey on your weaknesses.  Manipulative people have two goals: to win and to look good doing it.  Often those they abuse are only vaguely aware of what is happening to them.  In this eye-opening book, you'll also discover...

* 4 reasons why victims have a hard time leaving abusive relationships

* Power tactics manipulators use to push their own agendas and justify their behavior

*Ways to redefine the rules of engagement between you and an abuser

* How to spot potential weaknesses in your character that can set you up for manipulation.

* 12 tools for personal empowerment to help you maintain greater strength in all relationships

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 176 pages
  • Publisher: Parkhurst Brothers Publishers Inc; First Edition, 2nd Edition, second edition is exclusive to Parkhurst Brothers pu edition (April 1, 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1935166301
  • ISBN-13: 978-1935166306
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.6 x 8.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (428 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #6,156 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

George K. Simon, Jr. received his Ph.D. in clinical psychology from Texas Tech University. He has studied and worked with manipulators and other disturbed characters and their victims for over 20 years. Dr Simon has made national TV appearances on CNN, Fox News Channel, and given numerous workshops and seminars nationwide.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

227 of 235 people found the following review helpful By Laura De Giorgio on January 4, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
In this small book the author presents through several stories examples through which people may manipulate each other in family and business environments, and then through the tips in the last chapter offers suggestions for dealing with different scenarios. Personally, I liked that "how to" chapter of 22 pages with practical tips the best.

The most useful skills one can develop for dealing with manipulative people seem to be learning to set boundaries and becoming assertive and in that regard other books deal with these topics at much greater length, and I consider them more useful than this book.

Some of the tips for dealing with manipulative people this author suggests are:

- Accept no excuses
- Judge actions, not intentions
- Set personal limits
- Make direct requests
- Accept only direct responses
- Stay focused in the here and now
- When confronting aggressive behavior, keep the weight of responsibility on the aggressor
- When you confront, avoid sarcasm, hostility, and put-downs
- Avoid making threats
- Take action quickly
- Speak for yourself
- Make reasonable agreements
- Be prepared for consequences
- Be honest with yourself
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152 of 159 people found the following review helpful By Terry Love on June 8, 2012
Format: Kindle Edition
The book is life changing for me! Last week I had just been thinking, wondering why so much has occurred in my life when I came upon this book, almost by accident. Towards the end of the book listening to the audio version, I got my answer. All the characteristics of a person vulnerable to manipulative and aggressive tactics fit me. More importantly, now I know what I have been doing wrong! Recognizing that, acknowledging it, listening to that part again and making written notes on my Iphone to always have with me, I find I am living life differently. Whereas before, I might ponder, rehearse in my mind things that had occurred, make lots of excuses for another's behavior or just try & figure them out, intellectualizing things, etc. now it is so much easier. I see things more clearly for how they are. I have discovered, too, that I suddenly have more confidence to stand my ground effectively.

Even discovered a counselor who I went to for objective input on a big decision I need to make used one of the tactics when I informed him of a recent incident. Instead of acknowleding that the other person's behavior was wrong and acknowledging how it must have made me feel, he initially responded with excuses of what may have contributed to the grown man's behavior to promote such behavior, appearing to excuse it all. Yet, with another situation he needlessly spoke negatively about someone, who did nothing wrong projecting his own thoughts on to her.

Before reading the book, I may have been puzzled by his reactions, etc. Now, I can see things more clearly for how they are and stood my ground. I kept referring the counselor back to the behavior of the person in the first scenario stating there was no excuse for it. Finally, he admitted that, too.
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125 of 134 people found the following review helpful By SuzyShopper13 on June 1, 2012
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase

This little book does the job.

I have read other books on similar topics which were good... but which just did not enable me to solve the problems or make the changes I was looking to make in my life.

But THIS book actually helped me to SOLVE the problems and MAKE the changes.

I wanted to highlight or scribble on every single page of this book.

Dr. Simon "gets" what it is like to deal with the people he is talking about.

But more importantly, he understands and explains the traits that we ourselves might be showing or the behaviors that we might be doing that make us like magnets for these folks.

This book is straightforward and written for the layperson, so it does not bog you down in a lot of exposition and theoretical analysis.

Dr. Simon writes clearly and is easy to read. One sentence logically leads to the next. This is not the type of book where you can skim whole sections without missing things.

At first I thought I would not like the several chapters of examples. However, I later saw the method to this. As I read them, I not only recognized the behavior of the manipulators... I started to recognize my own behavior... and already in the examples, you can start to see where the victim is taking the wrong tack.... and your mind starts to see where the rest of the book is going to lead you.

A few things really set this book apart, in my opinion:

1 - the acknowledgement that some aggression is just that, aggression because someone wants something. It is not always because they're "hurt, damaged, suffering, etc etc etc" Sometimes they are just aggressive about wanting things.
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131 of 141 people found the following review helpful By Dr. Smoker on May 25, 2012
Format: Paperback
This book has proven this verdict to me: Some people are just jerks and you can't change them.

I have met a lot of people who have said something rude, did something in total disregard to my feelings and then gave lame excuses, no excuses or even tried to accuse me of being the bad guy afterwards. These manipulative people know what they're doing is wrong, they don't care, and they get a kick out of manipulating you. Trying to talk to them and explaining to them that they are wrong and they hurt your feelings is an utter waste of time. You just need to nip the problem in the bud by reading this book and learning tactics to deal with these kind of people.

These people are at war with you. Don't ever tell them your secrets or your insecurities. They will just use it against you to inflict more pain. It reminds me a lot of the Samson and Delilah story in the Bible. The Israelites are at war with the Philistines. Samson refuses to acknowledge it, is tempted by the Philistine girl Delilah, tells her the secret about his hair, and she just uses that information to destroy him. It's a harsh reality to accept, but some people really are that hostile towards the world that they really are out to emotionally hurt everyone and anyone. The people they are closest to are just their easiest victims.
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