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32 of 32 people found the following review helpful
It is altogether fitting that Michael Sidney Fosberg calls his memoir INCOGNITO: AN AMERICAN ODYSSEY OF RACE AND SELF-DISCOVERY since his story is as old as that of Telemachus who, as I recall, in Homer's ODYSSEY searches for his father. Once again we are reminded that art mirrors life. Mr. Fosberg's story--and what a story it is--is about, in his 30's, finding his father. Raised in Waukegan, Illinois by his Caucasian mother and stepfather who adopted him, Fosberg grew up in a comfortable home with two siblings several years younger than he. (His artist sister Lora provides beautiful illustrations to this book.) He always felt that something was just not quite right as he was growing up, but he was unable to pin the problem down. When he learns that his parents are getting divorced, he asks his mother for the name and possible city where he might find his birth father. He basically knows nothing about his father except that he and his mother got a divorce many years ago. Armed with 7 names from the Detroit telephone directory, he calls the first name on the list, and in a beautiful twist of fate, the man turns out to be his dad: "I have always loved you and thought of you a lot," his father tells him and also that he is African American. What follows is a roller-coaster ride of discovery as Mr. Fosberg finds and meets his relatives from his father's side of the family.
Mr. Fosberg's odyssey is not without pain. His task is to somehow navigate the often difficult waters between his mother, his brother and sister, his adopted father of Swedish heritage, his mother's family--his maternal grandfather was an Armenian who had been a slave to the Turks before fleeing to France and then coming to the U. S.--and his newly discovered African American relatives. You know you would have to love his newly-found grandmother in particular.
It is important to note that there are no family villains here. To a person, everyone in Fosberg's two families are decent people. On the other hand, he on a trip to Wilmington, North Carolina to visit a now-married friend whom he had a crush on as a teenager comes face to face with her husband, an unreconstructed bigot, who unaware of Fosberg's heritage, tells him a racist joke. Unfortunately many of the stereotypes about the South are often grounded in truth.
The holder of an MFA degree from the University of Minnesota, Mr. Fosberg tells his story with considerable skill. In short, he has a way with words--although this story is so moving that it would tell itself even in the hands of a less gifted craftsman. He breaks up with his fiancée because his "wallet wasn't big enough for the Prada purse" she had secretly charged on his credit card. He describes Hotel 6 as the "McDonald's of layovers." Someone's life is an "abnormal normalcy."
Mr. Fosberg's story ought to resonate with many people. While it is of course unique to him, the implications are universal. As he reminds us of the advice a wise second cousin gave him: "Because it seems to me that to be robbed of a parent and thus that parent's family and history, as you were at an early age, is in fact to be every bit as crippled as a person who is missing an arm, or a leg, or an eye. . . You can never know who you truly are until you have some sense of where you and your kind have been." Mr. Fosberg on diversity and discrimination: "More often than not people of color, along with other minority ethnic groups, are viewed as a racial group, rather than as individuals. Those who can't pass for white learn to live with the common occurrence of being pulled over while driving black or being watched by sales clerks when shopping. Immigrants who come to this country with strange-sounding names, language barriers, different appearances, or unusual cultural practices often find themselves the target of hostility. It's not just a black/white thing: it permeates the whole of our richly diverse society." He goes on to lament the fact that so many people with the means to travel to another country and embrace another culture choose not to do so. "After all, as Americans, we're all from someplace else."
I must say that this book affected me as few books do. When I got to page 72 when Mr. Fosberg on the first call out locates his father--surely his stars were aligned that day--I found my eyes burning. I was so moved that I immediately called up the author and told him how his story had affected me. I cannot imagine you can finish Michael's story and not be tremendously moved by both his honesty and humanity.
It would be a great shame if a major publisher does not pick up this privately-published book and provide the large readership that a book of this quality so richly deserves.
Mr. Fosberg's odyssey is not without pain. His task is to somehow navigate the often difficult waters between his mother, his brother and sister, his adopted father of Swedish heritage, his mother's family--his maternal grandfather was an Armenian who had been a slave to the Turks before fleeing to France and then coming to the U. S.--and his newly discovered African American relatives. You know you would have to love his newly-found grandmother in particular.
It is important to note that there are no family villains here. To a person, everyone in Fosberg's two families are decent people. On the other hand, he on a trip to Wilmington, North Carolina to visit a now-married friend whom he had a crush on as a teenager comes face to face with her husband, an unreconstructed bigot, who unaware of Fosberg's heritage, tells him a racist joke. Unfortunately many of the stereotypes about the South are often grounded in truth.
The holder of an MFA degree from the University of Minnesota, Mr. Fosberg tells his story with considerable skill. In short, he has a way with words--although this story is so moving that it would tell itself even in the hands of a less gifted craftsman. He breaks up with his fiancée because his "wallet wasn't big enough for the Prada purse" she had secretly charged on his credit card. He describes Hotel 6 as the "McDonald's of layovers." Someone's life is an "abnormal normalcy."
Mr. Fosberg's story ought to resonate with many people. While it is of course unique to him, the implications are universal. As he reminds us of the advice a wise second cousin gave him: "Because it seems to me that to be robbed of a parent and thus that parent's family and history, as you were at an early age, is in fact to be every bit as crippled as a person who is missing an arm, or a leg, or an eye. . . You can never know who you truly are until you have some sense of where you and your kind have been." Mr. Fosberg on diversity and discrimination: "More often than not people of color, along with other minority ethnic groups, are viewed as a racial group, rather than as individuals. Those who can't pass for white learn to live with the common occurrence of being pulled over while driving black or being watched by sales clerks when shopping. Immigrants who come to this country with strange-sounding names, language barriers, different appearances, or unusual cultural practices often find themselves the target of hostility. It's not just a black/white thing: it permeates the whole of our richly diverse society." He goes on to lament the fact that so many people with the means to travel to another country and embrace another culture choose not to do so. "After all, as Americans, we're all from someplace else."
I must say that this book affected me as few books do. When I got to page 72 when Mr. Fosberg on the first call out locates his father--surely his stars were aligned that day--I found my eyes burning. I was so moved that I immediately called up the author and told him how his story had affected me. I cannot imagine you can finish Michael's story and not be tremendously moved by both his honesty and humanity.
It would be a great shame if a major publisher does not pick up this privately-published book and provide the large readership that a book of this quality so richly deserves.
14 of 14 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
This stunning memoir will ask the reader to seriously reconsider the meaning of ethnic identity ...
January 8, 2011
Things were never quite the same when Michael got his new "Waukegan father." Of course Mikey never knew his "real" one, but this man, try as he might, never was able to interest him in anything. John Fosberg tried his best to bond with his new son by taking him fishing or teaching him the ins and outs of woodworking, but to no avail. The five-year-old boy didn't want the misery of being woken at 5 a.m., trussed up in an oversized lifejacket, and thrown in a boat to catch fish. Buying them would have been easier. Did the man ever hear about things like basketball? It was a standoffish relationship at best, but later Mikey would admit that "The very things I found so irritating about him, I realized much later, were the greatest gifts he gave me: work hard, have integrity, be honest, save money." (p. 40)
Mikey always felt like an outsider, but his brother and sister, Christopher and Lora, who were almost a decade younger, seemed to understand him as did Papa Charlie. Papa Charlie, otherwise known as Garabed Pilibosian, was an Armenian immigrant, a survivor of "the first modern genocide" in Armenia. He seemed uncertain about his mother, Papa's daughter, as his place in the family made him feel like that of an outsider looking in. Why? He was a shy, timid young man, but strangely enough, acting became his refuge, his forte. "I was bitten by the stage bug, and once I got my first taste, I plunged forward, foot firmly on the accelerator." (p. 33) It was, of course, one of those things his father, John, looked askance at.
And then there was his relationship with drugs which later spiraled out of control by the time he was attending the University of Minnesota. Perhaps drugs were the answer, but he later claimed that "What had originally given me hope, acceptance, and likeability had now driven me into a dark world of isolation, depression, and despair." (p. 51) Michael Sidney Fosberg was traveling through life grasping at straws never quite knowing where he belonged. There was his family, his friends, girlfriends, and a series of funky jobs that presented themselves as the years began to pass. Then there was his parent's divorce. He started asking some very pointed questions and sought out that "real" father. A few telephone calls later he found John Sidney Woods, who did not mince words ... "There's one thing that I'm sure your mother never told you ... I'm African American." (p. 73) Was his whole life a lie? Who were his other relatives? What would his Dad have to say about this one?
This stunning memoir will ask the reader to seriously reconsider the meaning of ethnic identity. Michael, who was one day a middle-class white man, was stunned when he found out that he was actually a "black" man. I was riveted to the pages as I traveled with Michael as he explored his heritage, experienced his angst, and debated with himself about the meaning of his racial identity. There were several passages that were quite emotionally striking and thought provoking. For example, he asks "If you don't grow up black, do you know what it means to be black, live black, walk, talk, eat, and socialize black?" (p. 114) A few times the memoir felt a bit disjointed, but I believe what I was sensing was his uncertainty about his life and the discovery of an instant ancestry. If you want to take a journey through the American experience, white and black, this is one book that will take you on a ride you won't forget!
This book courtesy of the author in exchange for an honest review.
Mikey always felt like an outsider, but his brother and sister, Christopher and Lora, who were almost a decade younger, seemed to understand him as did Papa Charlie. Papa Charlie, otherwise known as Garabed Pilibosian, was an Armenian immigrant, a survivor of "the first modern genocide" in Armenia. He seemed uncertain about his mother, Papa's daughter, as his place in the family made him feel like that of an outsider looking in. Why? He was a shy, timid young man, but strangely enough, acting became his refuge, his forte. "I was bitten by the stage bug, and once I got my first taste, I plunged forward, foot firmly on the accelerator." (p. 33) It was, of course, one of those things his father, John, looked askance at.
And then there was his relationship with drugs which later spiraled out of control by the time he was attending the University of Minnesota. Perhaps drugs were the answer, but he later claimed that "What had originally given me hope, acceptance, and likeability had now driven me into a dark world of isolation, depression, and despair." (p. 51) Michael Sidney Fosberg was traveling through life grasping at straws never quite knowing where he belonged. There was his family, his friends, girlfriends, and a series of funky jobs that presented themselves as the years began to pass. Then there was his parent's divorce. He started asking some very pointed questions and sought out that "real" father. A few telephone calls later he found John Sidney Woods, who did not mince words ... "There's one thing that I'm sure your mother never told you ... I'm African American." (p. 73) Was his whole life a lie? Who were his other relatives? What would his Dad have to say about this one?
This stunning memoir will ask the reader to seriously reconsider the meaning of ethnic identity. Michael, who was one day a middle-class white man, was stunned when he found out that he was actually a "black" man. I was riveted to the pages as I traveled with Michael as he explored his heritage, experienced his angst, and debated with himself about the meaning of his racial identity. There were several passages that were quite emotionally striking and thought provoking. For example, he asks "If you don't grow up black, do you know what it means to be black, live black, walk, talk, eat, and socialize black?" (p. 114) A few times the memoir felt a bit disjointed, but I believe what I was sensing was his uncertainty about his life and the discovery of an instant ancestry. If you want to take a journey through the American experience, white and black, this is one book that will take you on a ride you won't forget!
This book courtesy of the author in exchange for an honest review.
6 of 7 people found the following review helpful
Michael Fosberg was raised by his biological mother and his adoptive father. When his mother and stepfather divorced, Michael was aged in his thirties, and decided to search for his biological father. When he located his father, he found an entirely new family, rich in its own heritage and history. These additional family links led him to explore not only who his family is but what `family' actually means.
Michael discovered that his biological father was African-American. His mother had never told him, and his stepfather didn't know either. Michael's journey to discover who his father is also required him to understand why his mother, a second generation Armenian, had withheld this information from both him and his stepfather.
`I slide between worlds, between cultures, experiencing everything from both sides. I live in between. I walk both sides.'
While my primary reason for reading this book was to read Michael's story, I found that I was also wondering about broader issues of identity. Certainly, issues of race and colour are part of how we define ourselves and how we are viewed by others. But they are only part of the equation: we each have a genetic and a social history and many of us choose to identify more with one aspect of our heritage. I guess that the key word is choice.
`Incognito is defined in the dictionary as an adverb meaning `with the real identity concealed ... with one's identity hidden or unknown'.'
I wonder what `real identity' is. Are we defined by our relationship to others? By our membership of particular ethnic, religious or racial groups? Can we redefine ourselves: do we have a single identity, or multiple identities?
Michael Fosberg's very personal story raises a number of issues for each of us to consider.
Note: I was offered, and accepted, a copy of this book for review purposes.
Jennifer Cameron-Smith
Michael discovered that his biological father was African-American. His mother had never told him, and his stepfather didn't know either. Michael's journey to discover who his father is also required him to understand why his mother, a second generation Armenian, had withheld this information from both him and his stepfather.
`I slide between worlds, between cultures, experiencing everything from both sides. I live in between. I walk both sides.'
While my primary reason for reading this book was to read Michael's story, I found that I was also wondering about broader issues of identity. Certainly, issues of race and colour are part of how we define ourselves and how we are viewed by others. But they are only part of the equation: we each have a genetic and a social history and many of us choose to identify more with one aspect of our heritage. I guess that the key word is choice.
`Incognito is defined in the dictionary as an adverb meaning `with the real identity concealed ... with one's identity hidden or unknown'.'
I wonder what `real identity' is. Are we defined by our relationship to others? By our membership of particular ethnic, religious or racial groups? Can we redefine ourselves: do we have a single identity, or multiple identities?
Michael Fosberg's very personal story raises a number of issues for each of us to consider.
Note: I was offered, and accepted, a copy of this book for review purposes.
Jennifer Cameron-Smith
Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars
Incognito: An American Odyssey of Race and Self-Discovery
A Jew-fro and a slightly swarthy complexion were all that made Michael Fosberg stand out in family photos taken with his parents and two younger siblings. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Troy Johnson
4.0 out of 5 stars
Lucky
What a lucky man he became, wealthy with all the different cultures he lived with and/or inherited.
A wonderful story and analysis of who we are and what really matters. Read more
A wonderful story and analysis of who we are and what really matters. Read more
Published 17 months ago by sabrina
5.0 out of 5 stars
Take One, Please...
Take One, Please... An Abridged Anthropological Review of Incognito: An American Odyssey of Race and Self-Discovery, Authored by Michael Sidney Fosberg
Michael Fosberg's... Read more
Michael Fosberg's... Read more
Published 22 months ago by drlarryross
4.0 out of 5 stars
Great read about the disparities regarding race in American Society
I believe the book had a good way of sharing information to those who are yet uncertain about how race continues to play a part in the lives of people even today in America. Read more
Published on April 18, 2011 by Stone
4.0 out of 5 stars
IDENTITY
Why would any child nurtured by two loving parents and siblings, in a more than comfortable home need to find his biological parents? Read more
Published on April 11, 2011 by Dorothy Weiss
5.0 out of 5 stars
Incognito
Michael Fosberg is an outstanding actor who found his heritage and embraces it! What a wonderful and articulate story he writes of finding his real father! Read more
Published on March 11, 2011 by Teresa Richie
5.0 out of 5 stars
Fosberg Story Reveals The Universal Search For Self
When reading INCOGNITO by author Michael sidney Fosberg it is impossible for us to wonder what would we do when faced with an "identity crisis". Read more
Published on January 30, 2011 by C. A. Webb
4.0 out of 5 stars
Good story - deserves stronger writing
This book was sent to me for review. At first I was distracted because the writing just doesn't flow well, especially in the earlier chapters. Read more
Published on January 15, 2011 by Dr Cathy Goodwin
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