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149 of 181 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars
So much time, so little result., August 18, 2008
I love the first three Indy films. Like so many others I was greatly looking forward to seeing a new one. I thought (or hoped) that the very long time they took to come up with a script meant they were polishing it to a brilliant shine. After seeing the movie, I conclude it was really a long negotiation between Lucas, Spielberg, and Ford, with some of them eager to make a crappy movie, and some of them not, with the end result being crappy, but perhaps not as crappy as it might have been.
The movie started with a bit of promise (other than the infantile CGI prairie dog). I'm not as offended by the nuclear fridge scene as many are, because I know those mock towns weren't built at Ground Zero (or they would have been vaporized). They were built at a distance to judge the effect of the blast on places some miles from the explosion. So while it's not credible for Indy to survive being tossed around that much, he didn't exactly survive a nuclear explosion. Some of the other early scenes, such as those where Indy is actually discovering something, are also good.
Still...
About halfway through the movie, despite my fervent desire to like it, I realized it just wasn't working for me. No suspense. No real sense of urgency or danger. Low stakes. Too many marginal or pointless characters. Too much cartoon nonsense going on, far less believable than anything from the previous films (the stupid monkey vine swinging, Marian's idiotic tree-driving stunt, the multiple waterfall drops...none of it scary, none of it remotely convincing, or even fun). Marian's long-awaited big reveal was one of the biggest, flattest duds in film history. She shows up and spends most of the rest of the movie just tagging along with a dazed grin on her face like she was just grateful to be there, a flaccid dishrag compared to the character from the first film. Not Karen Allen's fault...she was just thrown in for nostalgia's sake, and was poorly written. Mutt was actually not a bad character, but I don't need or want him to be Indy's son. Is there any worse cliche in fiction than the Son He Never Knew He Had? I realize Spielberg and Lucas are fascinated by father issues, but I'm not. And then there's the whole point of the movie...the skull and the aliens...ehhhh. Who cares? The finale was a muddled jumble of flashing lights and wind that meant nothing and evoked nothing but tedium. Remember at the end of the previous films, where the characters actually seem to notice that something extraordinary has happened, were even scared, or traumatized just a little bit (okay, not so much in Crusade, where they quickly shake off any aftereffects and devolve into slapstick and lose all interest in their surroundings). Not this time. The giant flying saucer takes off, and Indy and his massive crew of sidekicks start cracking jokes.
I'm inclined to blame Lucas for most of this mess. He's made a habit of lapses of taste and judgement since...hmm..."Howard the Duck"?
I don't want to see this movie again, and I don't want to own it. I hope they don't make another, because these guys have proven they no longer have what it takes.
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72 of 95 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Indiana Jones and the temple of bad scripts, September 18, 2008
What a mess this movie was. Good to see Indy again but you can tell from the start that Lucas had approval over this script after rumors he threw out so many better scripts out the window (Frank Durapont anyone?).
Indy surviving nuclear blasts, Rodents coming up from the ground and grinning at the camera, Shia LaBouf swinging from vines in a jungle with Monkeys and hardly any Marion. She barely has anything to say.
Then you get the ending which comes out of a different movie.
Suspending Disbelief is one thing but you gotta check your brain and taste at the door for this one.
Lets hope they don't make any spinoffs with Indy's kid.
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182 of 245 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Crystal Numbskull, October 10, 2008
Personal sadness and disappointment here: what a great franchise this was, what a lovable character, now destroyed by pure Lucasian incompetence. I'd really loved all the first three movies, because in my opinion, they were perfect examples for timeless adventure classics and movie magic extraordinaire, each in its own style. Indy himself was one of my childhood heroes ... heck, I even loved the TV series (well, mostly), but when I saw this one, I almost puked my guts out. Honestly, I wanted to like it badly, but this flick is so incredibly stupid, so inconsistent and amazingly badly written, it's plain unbearable. All things which made the other movies so great are missing: the excitement of discovery, the thrilling adventure, the enjoyable character relations, the sarcastic yet charming humor, the over-the-top but still believable action scenes - all gone. What remains is this brainless, soulless, uninspired load of junk that (sadly) will score at the box office anyway, just because it's Indy - sort of. But worst of all, as you can clearly see in almost every take, the love is gone from the franchise. Even Harrison Ford looks mostly like he's just going through the motions. For my part, I blame it all on the ABSOLUTELY CRAPPY AND THOROUGHLY DUMB SCRIPT that 1) DENIES THE ACTORS ALMOST EVERY POSSIBILITY TO ACT (Karen Allen being the worst example) and 2) has literally everything that also made the star wars prequels fail: the ham-fisted dialogue, the completely ridiculous "storytelling", forced character development and relations, plot holes one could fly the death star through, overused CGI effects, the lamest humor imaginable ... the list goes on and on. So thanks, George Lucas, for ruining just another childhood love of mine - you couldn't have made it worse by introducing Steven Seagal as Indys long lost brother. But probably, that's what you were up to anyway and Spielberg just talked you out of it.
Bottom line: 20 years of waiting in vain ... excuse me now, but I think I'll go hiding in the basement and cry a little.
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