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Infidelity: A Love Story [Paperback]

Ann Pearlman (Author)
4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)


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Paperback, September 11, 2001 --  

Book Description

September 11, 2001
It is estimated that an alarming four out of five married couples experience infidelity. Growing up with a mother and grandmother who painfully accepted the existence of their respective husbands’ mistresses, Ann Pearlman set out to beat the odds. She embarked on a career as a therapist who helped hundreds of unhappily married patients build new lives. She also found a husband with whom she felt secure. But after thirty years of rewarding marriage and parenthood, she discovered that her husband was having an affair with one of his art students. Infidelity is the moving account of her shattered trust, and the women in her family who endured similar wounds in the radically different climate of America before 1960.

Written in precisely drawn, vivid scenes, Infidelity traces Pearlman’s first understanding of unfaithfulness through her father. A gifted and intelligent man, he took the time to explain Freud’s theories to her during dinner, a meal often served late because of his after-work trysts. Falling in love with Ty, an African American football player and artist, she basked in a strong marriage that even shrugged off interracial bias and inspired her to write a book on how to foster vitality in a marriage. Yet as her own unraveled, she arrived at a turning point that would test everything she had taught and believed. Compelling reading for men and women alike, Infidelity is an eye-opening testament to commitments made and broken, and the experience of matrimony across three very different yet strikingly connected lifetimes.


Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

An unusually vivid and striking account of the effects of men's affairs on their wives and daughters, this memoir spans three generations of the author's Jewish family. The women are close and discuss the gambling, alcoholism and "Don Juanism" of their men, even with the younger girls present; they encourage the girls always to remain able to support themselves and their children. Pearlman's gift for characterization shines through in her portrayal of her intelligent and charismatic father, who explains Freud to her and her brother at family dinners, which are often served late because he secretly visits his mistress after work. Following the sage advice of her female relatives, Pearlman travels, takes lovers and earns her M.S.W. to become a therapist/counselor. "Determined not to redo my mother's marriage," she eventually marries an African-American football player and artist she is certain will remain faithful to her and to whom she can be faithful. After 30 years with him, and after having published a book on keeping the passion alive in a long-term marriage, however, Pearlman discovers her husband's affair with a married Japanese student in one of the university art courses he teaches. While the experiences of her clients in therapy hauntingly reflect her own, Pearlman gives herself one year to either save her marriage or end it. In compact sentences and chapters, Pearlman uses the present tense to bring scenes from all stages of her life to full-color vitality. This collection of vignettes coalesces into an immediate, personal story of depth and power, as gripping as a good novel. (Sept.)
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

Review

"An unusually vivid and striking account of the effects of men’s affairs on their wives and daughters…an immediate, personal story of depth and power, as gripping as a good novel."
--Publishers Weekly, starred review

"Ann Pearlman’s honesty digs into the reader’s memory bank and makes it acceptable to have those memories we thought were too horrible to share. She has handled infidelity with a sense of humor and a delicacy that could break the heart."
--Oakland Press

"She has a sharp eye for detail and is adept at expanding her discussion of infidelity’s pain and relationship-mutating qualities."
--Kirkus Reviews

Product Details

  • Paperback: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Broadway (September 11, 2001)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0767908112
  • ISBN-13: 978-0767908115
  • Product Dimensions: 7.9 x 5 x 0.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,947,277 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

9 Reviews
5 star:
 (5)
4 star:
 (2)
3 star:
 (1)
2 star:    (0)
1 star:
 (1)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
4.1 out of 5 stars (9 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars Infidelity, May 29, 2002
This review is from: Infidelity: A Love Story (Paperback)
This is a book worth reading whether you are an unfaithful partner or a victim or an unfaithful spouse or neither. The reader can feel Ann's pain but at the same time, is inspired by her strength and courage. Unlike many self-help books, "Infidelity" does not try to explain why infidelity happens. It is simply an account of its prominence in Ann's life and how she dealt with it. The writing style was not extraordinarily impressive, but the book is an easy and interesting read.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars AN INSIDE LOOK AT INFIDELITY AND SHATTERED TRUST!, September 12, 2001
By 
Sandra D. Peters "Seagull Books" (Prince Edward Island, Canada) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Infidelity: A Love Story (Paperback)
The strong points of this book are Pearlman's honest approach to infIdelity and the straight-forward manner in which she tells her story. As a daughter who witnessed first-hand the unfaithfullness of her father, Pearlman became a therapist who, through the years, helped hundreds of couples strengthen their faltering relationships. After thirty years of what she perceived to be a sold marriage, she discovers her husband is having an affair with a student. As her own marriage begins to come apart, her own emotional strength is tested to the limit and she reaches a point where everything she has believed in is tested to the very core of her being.

Another positive aspect of the book, is the ability of the author to relate her tumultous story of emotional upheavel and still tell it with a touch of humour. The reader instantly warms up to Pearlman and wins her respect and trust.

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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent book from a psychotherapist's point of view, October 10, 2001
By A Customer
This review is from: Infidelity: A Love Story (Paperback)
This book was wonderful! From the first page I was hooked. Ms. Pearlman describes her father's infidelities and how her mother reacts to them artistically and poignantly. Kudos to Ann Pearlman for writing such a wonderful book. A must have in everyone's library.
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