Customer Reviews

Infidelity: A Love Story

5 star:		(5)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

This is a book worth reading whether you are an unfaithful partner or a victim or an unfaithful spouse or neither. The reader can feel Ann's pain but at the same time, is inspired by her strength and courage. Unlike many self-help books, "Infidelity" does not try to explain why infidelity happens. It is simply an account of its prominence in Ann's life and how she dealt with it. The writing style was not extraordinarily impressive, but the book is an easy and interesting read.

The strong points of this book are Pearlman's honest approach to infIdelity and the straight-forward manner in which she tells her story. As a daughter who witnessed first-hand the unfaithfullness of her father, Pearlman became a therapist who, through the years, helped hundreds of couples strengthen their faltering relationships. After thirty years of what she perceived to be a sold marriage, she discovers her husband is having an affair with a student. As her own marriage begins to come apart, her own emotional strength is tested to the limit and she reaches a point where everything she has believed in is tested to the very core of her being.

Another positive aspect of the book, is the ability of the author to relate her tumultous story of emotional upheavel and still tell it with a touch of humour. The reader instantly warms up to Pearlman and wins her respect and trust.

This book was wonderful! From the first page I was hooked. Ms. Pearlman describes her father's infidelities and how her mother reacts to them artistically and poignantly. Kudos to Ann Pearlman for writing such a wonderful book. A must have in everyone's library.

OK, this book is not well written, but that's not the point. You will enjoy it if you have even the slightest voyeuristic tendency, which I believe most people do. The author discusses some very private matters in (sometimes) excruciating detail. I think she wrote the book partly as therapy for herself, but I also think she wanted to stick it to the guy and his new girlfriend, who, contrary to what another reviewer just below me says, seem quite happy together (http://www.....edu/news/news.html). This is not to say that I wasn't profoundly moved by her pain and her loss. I was not convinced by her interpretation of the events, and her endless psychologizing, but I think she really just needed to explain everything to herself, in order to be able to move on with her life. I hope she does.

This book is worth reading for men or women to appreciate the pain caused by infidelity. It it also interesting to see how a therapist can get caught up in some of the same mental traps as the clients she serves. I was glad to see Ann finally break free of the "it will get better" or "I'll do it for the kids" line of thinking. I was amazed at the maintenence of the physical side of her relationship with Ty right up to the very end. I cannot imagine such a interest after his betrayl of her. I think that Ty proved himself to be a pathetic character, and I can only imagine the heartbreak that awaits him with his new partner. It was important for me to feel the contempt that I felt for Ty - so as not to do something in the future that would cast me in the same light.

A courageous revelation of a very personal journey written in a voice that shares the intimacies and experiences with us. This book is peppered with insights and phrases that will stick with you long after you've finished reading it. It allows us to see through the authors eyes and filters, and to grow with her through childhood, teenage years, and maturity. The multiple threads that run from one generation to the next weave a rich fabric of relationships which reveal that we are much more than the products of nature and nurture...that we must each reckon with the thing we call our spirit.

From the start I could not put this book down. Ms. Perlman dealt with issues that her mother and grandmother before her could not. In spite of the odds already facing her biracial marriage in a less tolerant time, she and Ty seemed to have made it work - only to find that, it didn't. An engrossing read and a must-have book for anyone struggling to understand problems in their own relationship, or perhaps of those they love.

The book builds slowly. It's because Pearlman has much to say about her grandparents and parents, and their infidelities, before arriving at her husband's. The adherence to chronology makes the first chapters a bit of an exercise, but I stuck with them because I knew what was coming, and because there's a kind of inevitability to them, a Greek tragedy that demands its own introduction. And by the time the author meets her husband the book is rolling. By page 150 it's a geyser, powerful and timeless.

Pearlman is a fool, as we have all been fools. She is honest with herself---about her rage and self-castigation--as not all of us have been honest. This is what lifts the book up and makes it so strong at the end. Anyone could tell her, "Leave the guy. Get rid of him, he treated you terribly." But anyone who's been through such an infidelity knows that it's not so simple. How long and hard we hang on, because the unfaithful one is in our hearts.

She writes about her husband, "I tell him, `Heal me, heal me. I hand myself to you. You say you want me. Then figure out a way to put this back together.'" But he can't, or won't, and Pearlman has to do it herself. That's how it works, and the reader can see how deep the author had to go to resurrect herself.

Slowly, she does. "Ty does not reach out to me. Before I fall asleep that night, I know the sense that I had that everything could slide back in place and be normal is gone. It will never be how it used to be. I have incorporated his infidelity."

To me it's a blunt and dangerous book, impossible to either ignore or forget.

Time and time again I found myself tempted to put the book down. It was a sad story, but not very interesting. In addition, the book was very poorly written. I can understand why a shrink would enjoy this book, but if you are a normal person looking for an interesting read keep searching.