Customer Reviews

31
4.5 out of 5 stars
Insatiable Wives: Women Who Stray and the Men Who Love Them
Format: PaperbackChange
Price:$15.24 + Free shipping with Amazon Prime
Your rating(Clear)Rate this item


There was a problem filtering reviews right now. Please try again later.

54 of 56 people found the following review helpful
on July 24, 2010
Format: Hardcover
Giving sociological, biological, and historical evidence, a controversial new book reveals how being scandalous might just be your nature - and how you've been tricked into believing it isn't!

Any attempt to review Dr. David Ley's "Insatiable Wive - Women Who Stray and the Men Who Love Them" is met with fierce quandries. Should it be approached from a clinical stand point so the importance of the book's message isn't overly sexualized? Or should it be written in the hot nasty style such subject matter conveys in people's minds? Should we highlight the interviews with real couples who live a cuckolding lifestyle or do we concentrate on the historical theories and facts as to why some women - many women - aren't hardwired to be monogamous?

Writing for The Examiner, Sadie Smyth describes Insatiable Wives as an in-depth look at the psychological, biological and sociological forces that impact the decision-making process of men who find sexual and psychological fulfillment in the knowledge that their wives maintain relationships with other lovers, as well as the motivation behind the women's choice to do so. In other words, it seeks to explain why many women in relationships sleep with other men and why their boyfriends and husbands love them for it! The book also highlights in detail the resulting female sexual empowerment that arises within the not oft-spoken of dynamic of cuckoldry. That empowerment, as the book details, is often tied just as closely to economics as it is to sexuality.

Ley explains that female sexual freedom throughout the history of the world ties directly to the economic independence enjoyed by women in society. So, among the Inuit for example, where women could pursue sex with other men, the women traditionally oversaw the family's economy. Among the Islamic culture in 19th Century Morocco, wealthy women often engaged in flagrant affairs, protected from their husband's anger by the fact that family's wealth was in the wife's name, inherited from her family. In today's Western world, as women's economic status has risen, so have the rates of female infidelity, and, not incidentally, the attention to female sexual satisfaction within heterosexual relationships (translation: guys are trying much harder to make us happy in the bedroom). Even among individual women, the more economically independent a woman is, the greater her chances of engaging in infidelity, and the more personal value she puts upon her sexual satisfaction. So, as female social and economic independence has grown in the past century, her sexual independence and autonomy has likewise grown.

The book also details how religious traditions have equated female sexuality with shame to keep it suppressed. One surprising (or not so surprising) piece of trivia the author gives is one of the first laws in recorded history was an order to stone women to death who'd had sex with more than one man! And, ironically, it's women themselves who have played a large role in suppressing their own sexuality by labeling their sisters as 'sluts' if they've embraced their sexuality.
66 commentsWas this review helpful to you?YesNoSending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
17 of 20 people found the following review helpful
on February 22, 2010
Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase
A very well constructed,well written,non judgemental approach of this facinating aspect of human sexuality.The author takes us on a voyage of discovery into an area of sexuality seldom explored. He approaches the subject with a refreshingly open mind and uses his extensive background in psychology to make this a very informative and enjoyable read. Highly recommended reading.
0CommentWas this review helpful to you?YesNoSending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
on March 12, 2013
Format: Kindle Edition
Want an interesting look into a life that few would ever imagine? Then read this book. I thought it provided an unbiased objective look into an unconventional lifestyle which is certainly not for everyone. It showed how all conventional wisdom could be defied in these couples who some seem to develop more open, loving, and communicative relationships.
11 commentWas this review helpful to you?YesNoSending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
9 of 10 people found the following review helpful
on January 7, 2014
Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase
This book was recommended to me by friends. It has a lot of great research, but the structure is confusing. There is repetition in different paragraphs (so that I thought I'd already read them) and I was left with the sense that the cultures are not as homogenous or as easily separated as he implies. I feel that his background as a psychologist has poorly equipped him for what is essentially an anthropological work.

That said. It covers an extensive range of topics and information and is probably worth struggling through for that reason.
11 commentWas this review helpful to you?YesNoSending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
on July 12, 2014
Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase
This book is actually inaccurately titled, as it is the men who convince their partners to explore multiple sexual partners, with the provision that the men watch or experience vicariously (through photographs, film, or partner's description) the details of these extra-primary-relationship couplings. Thus, the book should be titled Insatiable Husbands rather than Insatiable Wives. In any event, this is a fascinating introduction to an important sexual phenomenon, which is qualitatively different from conventional understanding of what is derisively referred to as "wife swapping," which is informatively explored in Gould's "The Lifestyle."

The book's content is informative, provocative, and even penchant. However, the organization of this material is somewhat disjointed. The chapters could be sequenced in a more logical manner so that understanding builds systematically from one major idea to the next. The chapters on history and literature, for instance, might be presented earlier in the text so that the reader achieves a cultural and historical grounding in the phenomenon before considering its current manifestations and pragmatics.

I am also a bit disappointed that the references are spotty. Most of the key references are documented in the bibliography, but not all. I depend on bibliographies to locate additional pertinent information, and it is a bit of a nuisance to do so on only skeletal in-text references.

However, at the very least this is an interesting, much needed contribution to the sexuality literature and is certainly accessible to the general reader as well as an important reference for specialists.
11 commentWas this review helpful to you?YesNoSending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
8 of 9 people found the following review helpful
on January 29, 2013
Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase
A good way to get to know yourself as well. You are normal.
AND YOU MAKE LIFE HAPPEN. Enjoy being human.
11 commentWas this review helpful to you?YesNoSending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
on July 8, 2014
Format: Paperback
Dr Ley's work is profound, compelling and so very relevant in today's evolving culture of social and marital relationships. Having said that, One must note that our culture is constantly evolving and that's an important reality to note as evidenced by the social changes of the past 40 years or so. It is in that context they Dr Ley presents
well researched data from anthropological, psychological and social studies. He also presents case histories and
interviews with couples who as he put it, define themselves in various ways - hot wives, swinging, cuckolding, wife sharing, non monogamous - all in a non judgmental and non critical manner. The one critical concept, key to the work, is the notion that monogamy should be seen as a choice, an option and not as a regulation or moral requirement as the cultural norms would suggest. The essential dynamic as he states it is the ability of the couple to engage in open, honest and mindful dialogue with each other. Dr Ley repeats throughout this work the importance of strong communication as being essential to a couple's successful negotiation of the increasing complexities and demands of their relationship.
This book is essential reading for all couples who are questioning and exploring the boundaries of their own relationship. It is also a definite must for therapists who work with couples. As I recognize in my own work with couples, too often sexual issues are hidden behind the presented issues like, poor communication, emotional distance, anger or depression. Had I had the information presented in this work, (as well as the courage to explore such issues) I'd have been a lot more successful . Dr Ley's work is transformative as it broadens the context for couple's relationships to enrich their lives .

Sig Van Raan, Ph D (retired Family and Marital Therapist)
0CommentWas this review helpful to you?YesNoSending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
on January 23, 2013
Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase
I am enjoying this book fully. The insights of the author are interesting and the life stories from the interviews are what makes this book a good read.
0CommentWas this review helpful to you?YesNoSending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
on March 17, 2014
Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase
It answers all the questions I had in mind when I decided to buy the book and will be useful as a reference for my own research on the subject.
0CommentWas this review helpful to you?YesNoSending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
on April 22, 2013
Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
very interesting look at human sexual behavior through the study of one type of lifestyle. enjoyed the book very much.
0CommentWas this review helpful to you?YesNoSending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
     
 
Customers who viewed this also viewed


 
     

Send us feedback

How can we make Amazon Customer Reviews better for you?
Let us know here.

Your Recently Viewed Items and Featured Recommendations 
 

After viewing product detail pages, look here to find an easy way to navigate back to pages you are interested in.