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So Many Men, So Little Time? It May be in Your Genes!
on July 24, 2010
Giving sociological, biological, and historical evidence, a controversial new book reveals how being scandalous might just be your nature - and how you've been tricked into believing it isn't!
Any attempt to review Dr. David Ley's "Insatiable Wive - Women Who Stray and the Men Who Love Them" is met with fierce quandries. Should it be approached from a clinical stand point so the importance of the book's message isn't overly sexualized? Or should it be written in the hot nasty style such subject matter conveys in people's minds? Should we highlight the interviews with real couples who live a cuckolding lifestyle or do we concentrate on the historical theories and facts as to why some women - many women - aren't hardwired to be monogamous?
Writing for The Examiner, Sadie Smyth describes Insatiable Wives as an in-depth look at the psychological, biological and sociological forces that impact the decision-making process of men who find sexual and psychological fulfillment in the knowledge that their wives maintain relationships with other lovers, as well as the motivation behind the women's choice to do so. In other words, it seeks to explain why many women in relationships sleep with other men and why their boyfriends and husbands love them for it! The book also highlights in detail the resulting female sexual empowerment that arises within the not oft-spoken of dynamic of cuckoldry. That empowerment, as the book details, is often tied just as closely to economics as it is to sexuality.
Ley explains that female sexual freedom throughout the history of the world ties directly to the economic independence enjoyed by women in society. So, among the Inuit for example, where women could pursue sex with other men, the women traditionally oversaw the family's economy. Among the Islamic culture in 19th Century Morocco, wealthy women often engaged in flagrant affairs, protected from their husband's anger by the fact that family's wealth was in the wife's name, inherited from her family. In today's Western world, as women's economic status has risen, so have the rates of female infidelity, and, not incidentally, the attention to female sexual satisfaction within heterosexual relationships (translation: guys are trying much harder to make us happy in the bedroom). Even among individual women, the more economically independent a woman is, the greater her chances of engaging in infidelity, and the more personal value she puts upon her sexual satisfaction. So, as female social and economic independence has grown in the past century, her sexual independence and autonomy has likewise grown.
The book also details how religious traditions have equated female sexuality with shame to keep it suppressed. One surprising (or not so surprising) piece of trivia the author gives is one of the first laws in recorded history was an order to stone women to death who'd had sex with more than one man! And, ironically, it's women themselves who have played a large role in suppressing their own sexuality by labeling their sisters as 'sluts' if they've embraced their sexuality.