Customer Reviews

Inside Transracial Adoption

5 star:		(9)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(4)

 

 

I've just finished slogging through this book and I was very disappointed in it as it is tagged as the best book on "transracial" adoption available. The book is really very narrow and I found it almost totally useless in my wife's and my situation (we are adopting a child from Haiti). Looking at some of the other reviews, it appears that we weren't alone.

The book is the result of two families' experiences with adopting non-white children and their attempts at integrating them into their families. What comes through loud and clear in the book is that the author's were expecting that the children would come out perfectly because they were loved and wanted. The parents seemed to be very insulated from modern society and reluctant (or unable?) to talk to people of their childrens' cultures.

As a step parent to two partially South Asian boys already, I was appalled at the reactive nature of the families in the book rather than looking ahead and being prepared for developmental stages and cultural/race problems. I would have had a lot more confidence in it (and the authors) if they had explained what they had done to prepare for problems to sail through them as comfortably as possible (from both their perspectives as well as their children's).

The book is painfully white middle-America with virtually no discussion of living in a multi-cultural city. It repeats a lot of information that can be found and explained better in other child-rearing books. For my wife and I (who live in a large very multi-cultural city and already have children), we found the material on Black hair care to be the most useful part of the book.

Having said all this, "Inside Transracial Adoption" is probably the best book available on the subject. This is unfortunate because I do not believe that it is anywhere as good as it should be.

Before buying a copy, I suggest that you sit down with it and make sure that it is appropriate for your situation and family. Otherwise you'll end up like I did, skimming through the book looking for something that made me feel like I was justified in buying it.

When we started our family by adopting our son, we were very naive about the racial issue of being African-American in the U.S. We, both white, thought that raising our African-American child multi-culturally would be the answer. Then we read this book. It opened our eyes to the reality of being of color in this country. If our son was raised by us on an island without anyone else, things would be different. But here we are, in the U.S., barely a generation away from Jim Crow laws. This book gives useful tools and knowledge to be realistic about parenting a child of color. But the most important message of this book is: transracial adoptive parents are pioneers and we share a respect for difference and an appreciation for diversity that are models for all people and all communities.

It does not discourage people from adopting transracially, on the contrary. It gives you a reality check on what is ahead.

I do understand that some people might be offended by this book. To fully appreciate this book you have to be aware of your white privileges. Only then can you appreciate the clarity and honesty of both authors.

I have since then met the 2 authors. They are truly impressive and models for our society.

I only read through the first third of the book before I had to give up on it. Often the authors overgeneralize - they take a statement made to them by one person of color and then say that all people of color feel the same way. That's not only counterproductive, it borders on perpetuating racism.

They have a very negative mindset that I find to be discouraging. My husband and I are considering transracial adoption of an older child; if I continue to read this book, I am certain they would talk me out of it.

Plus, I find this book to be very poorly written. It lacks any coherent organization. This book is in desperate need of an editor. Even if you agree with their approach to the issues, the typos, poor grammar and lack of structure will certainly make it difficult to follow their thought process. Unless James Joyce's stream of consciousness writing style is appealing to you, you will not enjoy the way the authors jump topics every other paragraph.

There are much better books dealing with these issues available. The only redeeming quality of this book is the quotes from children and adults who were raised in multiracial families.

I picked up this book based on a Hip Mama review and in preparation of our impending transracial adoption. I was looking for specifics on how adoption of a different race child affects relationships and lifes. I read the book over a two week period and half the time I was fuming. This book must have been meant to be read by people who live in a monochorome part of this country than I do.

I was abhorred that Steinberg/Hall were insinuating that a black kid should be exposed to black culture continuously so that he/she could be like their racial peers. Which black culture?? Black culture is not one culture, nor would it be right to pick one of the many African cultures to expose him/her to based on, say, his/her mother's birth country. Or why would it more important to expose the Vietnamese kid to Vietnamese culture than to any other culture? How about exposing all our kids to as many cultures as we can? Wouldn't that make more sense than just exposing certain kids to certain cultures? Aren't we all better off if we know more about the rest of our fellow humans?

I found the authors' focus on race overbearing and patronizing. I feel that each of our own cultures (in my case quite a mix, having been raised bi-culturally and in a bi-cultural marriage) are more important than birth race or ethnicity. Maybe I am wrong, because I'm white. So I asked some of my non-white friends and they echoed the same. My black African friend, born and raised in an African bi-cultural family in England, now in the USA and in a bi-racial, bi-cultural relationship, also voiced his objection to making race as the overpowering forced in our lifes. My Chinese-Jamaican friend, married to a white woman, agrees.

So I'm disappointed with the book. Either I wasn't the target audience (living in one of the most culturally diverse areas of the country) or maybe I'm even misinterpreting some of the messages. Nonetheless, even I found some interesting information in this book that makes it worth reading (and fuming). I really appreciated the parts about the developmental stages specific to adopted children. The race issues are valid in general but I feel that Steinberg/Hall can't see the forest for the trees on that one.

Advance buzz from experts in the field of interracial adoption included these comments

Eloquent, interesting and intensely practical, you can't read this book without thinking differently about your own life as a child, a parent, and a member of our diverse society.-Lois Melina, author of Raising Adopted Children and The Open Adoption Experience

As a first generation Korean adoptee, I carry in my bones the longing for clarity about identity and peace with my Korean and adopted nationality that Inside Transracial Adoption is all about. The authors' insights, compassion, and willingness to tackle both the joys and challenges of these pioneer families makes this a must read.-Susan Soon-Keum Cox, transracial adoptee and Vice President of Public Policy & External Affairs, Holt International Services

This is an honest and insightful book that is at once very personal and universal to all transracial adoptive parents. The authors tackle the very real issues; emotions, responsibilities and joys transracial adoption asks us to take on. As a transracial parent of grown children myself I wished I had had this book when they were young. insights. As a professional anti-bias educator I appreciate the authors' insistence that parents face the realities of racism in the US. Through a stimulating combination of enlightening anecdotes and wise analysis, Inside Transracial Adoption is an indispensable resource for people planning to adopt, for parents currently in transracial families and for professionals working with transracial families.-Louise Derman Sparks, transracial adoptive parent and author of Anti-bias Curriculum and Teaching/Learning Anti Racism

With remarkable insight, admirable honesty, and gentle humor, Gail Steinberg and Beth Hall expertly guide readers through the complexities of transracial adoption -- clarifying the issues and offering critical tools to help transracial families navigate the challenges they confront on a day to day basis.-Madelyn Freundlich, Executive Director, Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute

This book will provide adoptive parents practical and useful information for parenting a child of a different race or culture from authors eminently qualified as both professionals in the field of adoption and as parents who have adopted transracially themselves -Joseph Crumbley, LCSW, author of Transracial Adoption and Foster Care Steinberg and Hall candidly and eloquently bare their souls about their transracial adoption journey. They share prescriptive insights based on well-documented research and personal experience. Their children provide a unique filter through which the parents learn to appreciate the child's birth culture and the child matures to embrace a multicultural world view.-Gloria King, M.S., Executive Director, Black Adoption Placement and Research Center

Meaty must reading for parents and professionals involved in transracial placements.-Joseph Kroll, Executive Director, North American Council for Adoptable Children

As the mother of 4, two of whom arrived through transracial adoption, I found this book to be immensely realistic and compassionate. It offers practical and concrete suggestions for making the most of a multi-racial family, as well as giving much food for thought to those prospective parents interesting in adopting a child of a cultural other than their own. It also has a lot to offer adopted person, birthparents and the general public. All of us could benefit from the education and sensitivity offered.

We are in the process of adopting internationally and thought this book would be a good resource. The information was good, if a little narrow at times. The thing that distracted me the most was the editing: the authors will cover an idea, then rehash it several times, often using the same wording, sometimes within the same page.

Even worse (to me) were the gramatical, spelling, and punctuation errors - in abundance! I found one at least every 3-4 pages, and in a 400 page book that becomes very distracting very quickly.

The best advice I can give is to read it for it's point of view (if you are not too annoyed by the editing), but take many things with a grain of salt and form your own opinions on how to raise your child.

As a lifelong participant in the social experiment known as transracial adoption, I have studied and read numerous books and articles on the topic. Gail Steinberg and Beth Hall's book is one of the more comprehensive and thoughtful approaches to the subject. They give detailed advice to white parents raising children of color, offered in a conversational, user-friendly style. I have recommended the book to my students who want easily accessible information on transracial adoption. I highly recommend this book.

I purchased this book as required reading for inter-racial adoption. I will say up front that some points are certainly very valid. No, I don't know how to do a black girl's hair, but I realize it will be one of many important aspects of raising a black girl if so blessed. The importance of having a tie to your child's culture is extremely important, so he/she can have a sense of who he/she is in the larger sense. However, the authors overplay the white privilege thing, disregarding the fact that someone like me might have come from poverty, not being cut any breaks, and not being afforded any excuses. They also fail to take into account that a child is not defined purely by their genetic history - we ultimately must make our own decisions how to live our lives; no one else can do this for us. The idea that all blacks must think or act or worship God a certain way is just plain foolish. Lastly, the authors' views on racism in America do not represent the current situation. Though we still have some way to go, America's view of race is no where near what it was in the 80s, which seems to be their perspective. Bottom line: there has to be a book that presents a better approach to the subject. A more credible book would be one written today by a young black or Hispanic college graduate adoptee.

Whether a family is considering transracial adoption, or is well into the experience of creating a transracial family, this book is an essential resource. Not only have the authors lived the experience they describe, they have helped hundreds of prospective parents build families that work well. Not only do they tell you what to expect along the way--from deciding to adopt a child from another race, to bringing your child home, tracing the issues that arise as children grow to be teenagers and young adults--they also give helpful, specific suggestions about how to handle the challenges and reap the rewards of a mindful, enlightened approach to parenting.