Customer Reviews

Instant Rapport

5 star:		(9)
4 star:		(8)
3 star:		(4)
2 star:		(6)
1 star:		(8)

 

 

Believe it or not : the first half of the book deals with "representational systems" alone. The next half elaborates on "strategies". In every chapter the author promises you heaven and ultimately dishes out a picture of it! The author just seemed to read Tony Robbins' "Unlimited Power" and copied its contents. I would rather recommend "Unlimited Power". Atleast Tony appears sincere! Defintely not for anyone with atleast some knowledge of NLP. For beginners : Go through some of the articles online about NLP (Those by Robert Dilts', for example. You will get much better information that way.

Just like the reader from San Diego, I thought this book could have been written in a 20 page pamphlet. And unlike the reader from San Diego, this is not my first NLP book. I have read severals and found this book to be a simple rehash of the deeper stuff on NLP. It seem like Mr. Brooks was trying to stretch representational systems into a book.

Nothing too insightful for those who already know NLP, but not a bad starter to get your feet wet.

Without rapport, you will find it very difficult to effectively leverage other NLP techniques. Establishing a strong rapport with a person is essential for effective communication to take place. This book provides very elementary and very EFFECTIVE ways to establish and maintain rapport. If you are interested in NLP, read this book first. And as you read it, realize that the context of rapport is the foundation upon which the rest of NLP (and persuasion, sales, seduction, politics) have been built upon.

As a previous reviewer said, this book could have been condensed down into a phamphlet. For some people, a dry, item by item technical disection of a subject is what they crave. Yet others find the real life examples of how effective techniques are applied, to be very useful. Especially to those who have not quite yet grasped the subtly powerful way that rapport, or the lack of it, pre-frames their communications.

I was very disappointed with this tape. This tape should contain the same information as the "Instant Rapport" book. It doesn't. Instead, the tape only covers one aspect of the book's information and is incomplete.

While I remain impressed with the information contained in the book, don't waste a penny on the tape!

Many years ago, as I observed charismatic people, from a distance, I thought that they were being phony.

And,in the 80's, as I made a commitment to endlessly grow beyond my wildest dreams, I told myself that I envy the very people who I once thought were phony -- They had something that I wanted, and definitely needed.

And I am happy to say that with "Instant Rapport," I made the commitment to learn how to be charming, fully in the moment, my highest self, and wise.

I had many opportunities to see how I have evolved, as a result of reading "Instant Rapport."

One example was when I happened upon someone who was once my "arch rival," at the office.

With the help of reading this book, I walked up to this person, in the grocery store, not having seen her in many years, and sincerely chatted with her - there was gratitude in her entire demeanor. And I felt at peace, because I was emotionally, and psychologically free to be fully in the moment, focused upon the best in my interlocutor.

The lessons in this book are a strong part of my everyday experiences.

And a more recent experience is that through reading this book, I have given myself the label, "The Barter Queen," which leads me to be in strong rapport with local businesses, to get things that I want, in exchange for my connections as a journalist.

Read this book, because the lessons in this book guide you to belong - which is our basic human need.

Mr. Brooks talks about achieving instant rapport with someone. Although this book talks about the very basics of NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) since it has been written in 1989 when NLP was fairly new, there are couple of basic stradegies I found useful:

1. Talking in forms of the other's representation types (Visual, Kinesthetic, Auditory)
We are either one of the three types, and we tend to talk more in types of those languages. (ex. I "see" what you mean vs. I "hear" what you mean)
Simply recongnize them in a conversation and talk in that context of language.

2. Mirroring
In order to establish rapport, subtly mirror their physical behaviors (ex. hand gestures, crossing legs)

3. Anchoring
When someone is in high emotional state, anchor that feeling by planting a signal on his/her body (squeezeing elbows, wrist)


Other methods Brooks talks about did not seem very practical to me (such as using specific questions such as "Can you remember a time when you have been totally attracted to someone?" leading to "What was the first thing you noticed, looks, sound, or feeling?" to "What was the second thing you noticed..." to "What was the third?" to supposedly tap into someone's minds. Seems kind of impractical to use in a conversational context because nobody talks like this and the subject is likely to feel strange.

Overall, gives you a gist of the world of NLP, which can be a very powerful tool if studied carefully. However, there are other more modern books out on NLP now since studies have advanced. If interested, check out Tony Robbins' Unlimited Power if you want to learn how to control your mind and feelings as well as rapport with others in greater detail.

If you are having trouble making (or keeping) lovers and friends, getting through interviews or sealing up business deals, it surely couldn't hurt you to read this book! In fact, I suggest this book to any client who complains about having no friends, anyone who thinks they can't make friends, anyone having communication issues with their mate or lover. It's not a cure-all for marital or business woes but it is a great place to start.

In reply to a previous review, the reviewer got the story wrong. I was, in fact, on that plane, and it was because of Dr Brooks' intervention that the flight was saved. He calmed a very agitated passenger with a style of psychology I've never seen before. What could have been a true air disaster thankfully turned out well. This man should be applauded, and the story should be told acurately. Thank heavens for people like Dr Brooks.

I have to agree with the other reviewer. Forget the audio tape unless you want to be frustrated. I guess I had to learn for myself... The tape takes about 35-45 minutes to explain what a visual, auditory, etc person is like, and is presented in such obvious detail it must have been designed for the second grade level. After a while I found myself wondering if the entire tape was only going to cover the same point, but in the last 5-10 minutes does hit on another point. This is just one aspect of NLP & rapport. Tape doesn't cover some of the other info in the book.

This book has a few worthwile basic ideas, but those could be summarized on a cocktail napkin and do not necessitate an entire book. The majority of this book discusses how people are divided into three types - visual, auditory or kinesthetic - and how to appeal to or persuade to them accordingly given the language they understand. While "see the world through your negotiating partner's eyes" is a good concept to know, this book makes far-encompassing claims in unrealistic, idealistic scenarios, does not back up those claims with data, and assumes a stance of "this is all you need to know to work magic in a negotiating situation or to get someone to really love you instantly based on communication.

I hear Brooks is a communication scientist; I very much hope that his other books contain science to back themselves up, because this one sure doesn't. With some data, I would be more inclined to accept these far-reaching theories as credible - but only slightly.