Customer Reviews

How to Instantly Connect with Anyone: 96 All-New Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships

5 star:		(11)
4 star:		(5)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

This book is like a continuation to Leil Lowndes' How to Talk to Anyone. You should read that book first since it covers the basics, before reading this one.
The techniques referred to in this book are a bit more "advanced," you could say, and they generally apply to various scenarios one could be faced with, and there are no shortage of examples especially in the professional environment.
EP, or emotional prediction, is an essential concept covered in this book that has shaped my behavior and attitude during social interactions.
Overall, a great read and highly recommended.

I did not find this interesting at all.

"Little tricks" include:
- When meeting someone new, press their pulse.
- Don't pat when you hug.
- Hover around to see where they sit first.
- Give people a schtick name.
- Speak s-l-o-w-l-y for nonnative speakers.
- Don't speak of your "haves" with "have-nots".
- Wave to imaginary friends.

If this sound interesting to you, by all means read this book!

The book is definetely worth to read, even if you might choose not to use some more weird and dishonest tricks. Some of them are great though like if the person asks you the same question again in the same conversation, author suggests using different wording for your answer.
That said, this book is not so much about connecting as I expected it to be from the title. It is more about some tricks to impress others and avoid uncomfortable situations and graciously helping others to do the same. I would call it the book of social etiquette.

Ms. Lowndes is one of the foremost authorites on interpersonal connections. She really got it right with this book as well. It's about to really make that first impression connection which is so imporant and vital to a relationship. Includes is 96 little tricks that make a big impact. I learned so much from this great book that I am defintely going to keep it in my permanent collection.

I just finished How to Instantly Connect with Anyone. It was an excellent read. I am a bit on the shy side myself. but am running a business So many of the author's Little Tricks are gemstones! Some, of course, I can incorporate right away. Others will take a little more time and practice to get them just right. But all of them will endear me to other people, good for running a service based business! The book a great service to others.

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There are lots of clever little tricks in the bag that I wouldn't have necessarily put into words, so the book is a great help!

The book's "men need to sit facing the door trick" is so very true. I also prefer to sit facing the door, but give that privilege to the man if I am with one, especially in a restaurant. I would add that if he is more versed in the menu selections, to let him order for you. An old fashioned, chivalrous gesture, but one that makes him feel important!

When I found this book, I was perusing through the book store and already had a book in my hand (I usually try to buy only one at a time, otherwise, I would spend all my money and buy half the store!), but something brought me over to the "relationship" section--not a place I spend a whole lot of time. I knelt down and pulled the book off the shelf. Usually, for me, if I actually pull a book off the shelf, it probably means I need to buy it. So when I pulled this one off the shelf, I was contemplative, especially since I already had a different book in my hand.

I thought for a moment what my main goal of the moment was and decided it was getting my business up and running successfully. When you have been a shadow dweller for such a long time, sometime the Sunshine can feel scalding. So I am learning to bask in the Sunshine.

I made the right choice!

Is it manipulative to speak to others in a way you know will please them? Purists of the to-thine-own-self-be-true school may think so, but the people on the receiving end of your courtesy, deference and regard will not. Communications consultant Leil Lowndes has assembled 96 techniques you can use to make others feel good about you - often by making them feel good about themselves. These techniques work best, of course, when applied with sincerity and not phony zeal. Your purpose is not to flatter people, but to engender their positive regard. Scheming? Calculating? That's up to you to decide. Although you may not choose to follow Lowndes' sometimes boundary-testing advice to the letter, getAbstract recommends her fun book to anyone who needs a boost in getting along well with others. So unless you are already a bon vivant - or, conversely, a hermit - this book is for you.

The book doesn't disappoint. Part solid tips to try and the other part the stories from the author's life and experience that helped her figure out why they work. Having used most of her tips to great effect I can vouch for their effectiveness. My emails and texts have gotten much better responses since trying out the tips.

You should know the book is written with the business professional in mind but the ideas can be applied by anyone. It does sometimes feels like the book could be a lot shorter and still say the same thing but the stories do give the facts a fun flowing feel.

So,
Not a cure all, but a nice, quick, and useful read.

I don't know whether this book is more fun to read, or more helpful in communicating with people. Actually it is both. I laughed so hard at some of her stories, but they all had an important point and taught me some crucial things about connecting with people.

I am also impressed by a novel communication concept she talks about. That alone gave me new insight into human relations and has already as helped me in situations that weren't even in the book.

Lack of communication and bruising someone's ego is the source of most problems between people. I truly don't think these problems would exist if everyone read this book.

The book has some good ideas to practice, but I believe most of the pointers to be anecdotal rather than based on objective observation. Still, a decent book and worth the read.

This book starts off fairly strong, with some good advice for actually connecting with people during conversations (tricks to improve eye contact, how to figure out what topics will be relevant to the person you're talking to, etc.) But later it devolves into a bit of an etiquette guide. A lot of the tips are a bit common-sense-y, but some of them are just ridiculous. The author is apparently the most sensitive person EVER- here's a brief list of what's apparently not-okay to say:

"This is my friend, Harry." Because Harry is a PERSON with a NAME so you should always say "This is Harry, my friend." Same with spouses. I can kind of see this being a nice way to respect your underlings ("Leil, my assistant" instead of "My assistant, Leil") but I've certainly never been offended by being introduced as a wife or friend. I value those roles and they ARE part of who I am. They say a lot more about me than my name, which is shared by all sorts of other people (including a pedophile high school teacher that was in the news recently. Charming!)

"Drive Safely/Have a safe trip!" Because it implies that maybe it WON'T be safe and OH NOES!!!

"That's a great picture of you!" ... compared to real life, where you're an absolute DOG. Bwahah!

"No problem!" ...but every other time you ask for something, it IS a problem.

"You look great!"... which is unusual, because like I said before, you are an absolute dog.

Seriously, if you meet someone who's so self-obsessed and paranoid that they are offended by "You look great", you are better off NOT connecting with them. And running, far, far away. Maybe I'm just unsympathetic since I don't have an ego made of glass, but....come on. If you're that fragile, that's YOUR problem, not mine. Learn to take a comment in the spirit it was intended.

Also offensive: postcards, out of office messages that say that they are automated, "Have a nice day". Aaaaand so on.

Well you want to know what I find offensive? Mixing Daffy Duck up with Porky Pig. The phrases "Big Cat" and "little puss" (clearly you're trying to imply that unsuccessful folks are pussies, so just say it.) And most of all, this comment:

"A quick note for my sisters: When writing to men, drop words that express how you feel, like: "I am thrilled that..." or "I am so happy that..." Remember, men don't have feelings. At least, most of them don't admit it!"

Yes, you're right. 50% of the population are pathologically unable to process comments involving feelings like happiness. That's not even remotely sexist. BUT LORD SAVE THEM if they tell you that you look great!