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Integral Relationships: A Manual for Men Paperback – July 30, 2010


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Frequently Bought Together

Integral Relationships: A Manual for Men + The Integral Enneagram: A dharma-oriented approach for linking the nine personality types, nine stages of transformation & Ken Wilber's Integral Operating System
Price for both: $56.68

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 288 pages
  • Publisher: singles2couples.org Publishing; 1st edition (July 30, 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0984570306
  • ISBN-13: 978-0984570300
  • Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 5.9 x 0.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (32 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #450,206 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Integral Relationships" is an astonishingly complete manual for men based on virtually all the elements of the Integral model, in itself a remarkable feat. And the advice is truly sound. A great book!
--Ken Wilber, The Integral Vision

"The more and more I read, the more and more I was just really astounded how much territory you cover.  I will read sections of the book and hopefully people will get a sense of just how complete this thing is.  Honestly, I haven't seen anything quite like it--it's very impressive." Ken Wilber - Audio on Integral Life

"I found Integral Relationships to be an insightful and powerful application of the Integral model to what has to be the most compelling developmental topic in the world. I especially appreciated the straightforward and candid style; it was refreshing in a landscape littered with cloying fluff." Robb Smith - CEO, Integral Institute

"I am impressed by your scholarship!  You must be one of the first people in history to put the postmodern predicament as it relates to sex and romance on the integral map, and you've done an impressive job."Andrew Cohen, Spiritual Teacher, Founder Enlighten Next Magazine

"Martin Ucik's book, written as a manual for men, will be recognized as one of the most important books of the early 21st century."
Dr. Marj Britt - Senior Minister Emeritus, Unity of Tustin, CA

Finally, an integral look at relationships written for men and backed up with a wealth of scientific information! It is both fascinating and refreshing. If you are a man interested in relationships with women get this book and pay attention to what it has to say. --Professor Allan Combs, author of The Radiance of Being, Consciousness Explained Better, etc.

Integral Relationships is a bold and compelling synthesis of knowledge crucial to an understanding of men seeking to be in integral relationship with women. The author has gleaned from divergent authoritative sources and skillfully crafted this map of the masculine integral journey. --Bruce Kunkel, Integral Human Capital, Co-founder: Santa Rosa Integral Salon

For the man seeking to find the woman and relationship of his dreams in this psychosocial landscape of the 21st century, Martin Ucik has written the book . --Bill Say, M.A., Director, Community Healing & Leadership Training

From the Back Cover

Are you puzzled by women? Frustrated with your current relationship? Heartbroken after being dumped? Tired of being rejected when dating? This manual will help!
Written by a man who's been there, Integral Relationships provides you with a clear roadmap to relationship success. Learn how to apply Ken Wilber's Integral Model to your love life. Engage with women at their level of consciousness. Meet your partner with the understanding, integrity, strength, kindness, and compassion that she is yearning for. Enjoy the benefits of a satisfying healthy love relationship.
   
"Finally, an integral look at relationships written for men and backed up with a wealth of scientific information! It is both fascinating and refreshing. If you are a man interested in relationships with women get this book and pay attention to what it has to say."
Professor Allan Combs, author of The Radiance of Being, Consciousness Explained Better, etc.
"Integral Relationships is a bold and compelling synthesis of knowledge crucial to an understanding of men seeking to be in "integral relationship" with women.  The author has gleaned from divergent authoritative sources and skillfully crafted this map of the masculine integral journey." 
Bruce Kunkel, Integral Human Capital, Co-founder: Santa Rosa Integral Salon
"For the man seeking to find the woman and relationship of his dreams in this psychosocial landscape of the 21st century, Martin Ucik has written 'the book'."
Bill Say, M.A., Director, Community Healing & Leadership Training
"I liked this book because it helped me get girls whereas nothing else helped me."
Mark Johnson, author of Life is Divine Play
"Finally, a scholarly book about male-female relationships that goes beyond dating tips!"
Rich Gosse
Author of You CAN Hurry Love and Chairman of the World's Largest Singles Organization

More About the Author

Martin Ucik (1957 - ) was born in West-Germany, grew up in a happy family, studied Electrical Engineering, and founded a successful international music-soft and hardware publishing company in 1982. He came to the US in 1995 with his wife and children to serve as President of HOHNER MIDIA. Eckhart Tolle trained him as a spiritual group facilitator in 2003. Heartfelt conversations in his Power of Now group and the end of his 14 year marriage led him to a deeper interest in male-female relationship dynamics. To better understand why there are so many unhappy singles and couples in the US and why finding a new partner was so difficult, he founded singles2couples.org, an Association for Healthy Relationships. In 2006 he became an avid student of Ken Wilber's integral philosophy which became the foundation to answering his burning questions about the myriad of conflicts which arise in love relationships, and why so many women have given up on men altogether. Not finding any books that took an integral approach to dating and the co-creation of healthy love relationships, he began to write "Integral Relationships: A Manual for Men", which was published in July 2010. Besides writing and studying relationships from an integral perspective, his interests include spending time with his children, reading, playing piano/keyboards, hiking, jogging, cooking vegetarian food, philosophical groups, and meditating. He lives in Santa Rosa, CA and works as General Manager for the Hollywood, CA based Pro Audio distribution firm plus24.

Customer Reviews

Martin's material is very well researched and referenced.
Joel Kreisberg
I understand that without the integral lens, it's practically impossible to have a healthy relationship.
IntegraL321
I've found it helpful in my own relationship and I'm always looking to improve things at home.
Jed Diamond

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

23 of 26 people found the following review helpful By Michael Morrissey on October 6, 2010
Format: Paperback
I have read many relationship books and was wondering if Integral Relationships, by Martin Ucik, would be just another run-of-the-mill, self-help book that would simply digest other self-help books and echo the popular views of New Age thinkers, psychologists, and therapists writing today. I was pleasantly surprised to read instead a very intelligent, original, enlightening, and well-written analysis of male-female relationships as they are experienced in our contemporary culture. Combined with this penetrating analysis is a very useful guide through the thicket of relationship challenges that all couples face. Ucik also includes shrewd, practical advice for seeking one's partner in life and love. In addition, he adds a substantial appendix critically evaluating other relationship books with great insight. This will not only spare his readers from having to wade through the popular but inferior ones on the market, but will help them choose the best. Because this book combines all these components in one illuminating work, I recommend it highly (especially for men, Ucik's target audience).

This book's great contribution to the field is the provocative and instructive stage-state theory of consciousness and human relationships that anchors the whole work. Ucik appropriates this theory, and much else in his book, from the writings of Ken Wilber. For readers not familiar with Wilber and his Integral Theory, this book provides an accessible introduction and overview. For those familiar with Wilber's whole Integral project, this work serves as an original application of it to the realm of male-female relationships--the first of its kind.

Ken Wilbur is a pioneer in transpersonal psychology, consciousness studies, and the human potential movement.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By IntegraL321 on May 31, 2013
Format: Paperback
I first met author Martin Ucik on Facebook. He met me right where my rubber was scorching my path. I was profoundly frustrated by a man i was falling madly in love with. He was behaving like a middle schoolboy in grown up identity. Martin, within a few exhausting instant messages from me suggested I read his book. I was in such turmoil I could barely navigate the book buying method which he also patiently coached me through! Martin had already proven his superior relationship skills to me. When the book arrived I devoured and regurgitated it over and over again until i could practically rewrite it from memory. Then I ordered a batch to send to people I really cared about. Then I set about trying to repair damage I had done to past relationships. This has kept me busy for the last 2 years. The original man who was driving me mad is still showing up for me and I have made peace and friends with all mankind. I understand that without the integral lens, it's practically impossible to have a healthy relationship. Yes I am one of those people Ken Wilber describes armed with a stack of integral books...coming after you. Thanks to the author I am finally enjoying all my relating.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Tactical Nutrition on June 2, 2013
Format: Paperback
I'm really in disbelief about some of the 1 star reviews here. One of the brilliant aspects of this book is that everything in it is so poignantly stated. Remember, any 'fault' we find in another's work tends to reflect an aspect of ourselves that we are uncomfortable with (psychologists would say). Getting all worked up about it doesn't help anyone. What's the purpose of these 5 stars we're working with here? Most of the time folks jump the gun and rush to 1 or 5 stars depending on the strongest feeling they have when posting. But a book like Uciks demands more careful attention. The density of the content deserves a closer look than any gut reaction might give.

Integral Relationships, for me, is the most comprehensive book I've come across related to relationships. Ucik isn't an American poet (at least by the standards of anyone whose first language is English), but I think he brings some of the brilliant attention to detail that Germans are so well known for. Each paragraph efficiently relays information on the topic, demonstrating the careful research that went into every chapter. There are plenty of willful, opinionated statements interlaced here and there, but personally I find most of them entertaining. Even statements I may disagree with are diminished in importance for me because they're surrounded by valuable information.

As far as I know, this is Ucik's first work on the topic, so understandably it could do with some polishing. Some author's fail by omitting content or opinions, while others fail by including certain content or opinions. I am a forgiving reader, but genuinely think this book deserves 4 or more stars. It's an excellent synthesis of such varied topics that it stands out among relationship books.
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6 of 8 people found the following review helpful By Amazon Customer on January 24, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This is a serious study that applies Ken Wilber's Integral framework to male-female relationships.

It is NOT for women, but for men who seek to get along well with women.

If you're a man who is trying to figure out what makes women tick, and who has already done a fair amount of reading about male-female relationships, you'll really appreciate this book. What you had previously thought was incomprehensible about their behavior might begin to make perfect sense.

Some relationships fall apart not because of some fault of the man or of the woman, but simply because the two are at different stages of development in their individual lives at the time they cross paths. Not seeing this can cause a tremendous amount of unnecessary grief. Understanding it makes it so much easier to avoid that grief altogether, and/or to let her go with love and best wishes.

Appendix I contains an extremely helpful survey of relevant relationship books, and discusses how each reviewed book succeeds or fails to take into account various "quadrants" of Wilber's Integral model. Whether you want to apply Wilber's model or not, this section alone will probably put the whole subject of understanding women in a much broader framework than you ever imagined.

I like to think of this book as providing clear road signs where before there was only guesswork at best. It's so easy to take a wrong turn in dealing with a woman if you don't know where you are--and especially if you don't know where she is along life's path. Think of "Integral Relationships" as Mapquest on steroids with plenty of roadmarkers helping you get to your destination--or at the very least help you stop wasting time riding down the wrong road.
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