Customer Reviews

Intellectual Foreplay: Making the Right Choice and Being the Right Choice in Relationships

5 star:		(31)
4 star:		(5)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

Buy this book. Read this book. Thoroughly. There are enough questions to spread out over several months, but asking them all the first week might scare your sweetie away! The goal is to get to know the person you're with, not to interrogate them. Take your time, weave them into the conversation. This is a wonderful book for people already in a relationship, but even BETTER if you buy it while you are still single, making that list of qualities you want to find in a partner. I agree with the reviewer who said it helped her map her value system. Some of the best advice given in this book is that in order to attract the type of person you want to be with, you must first BECOME the person you want to be with -- if you want to meet an outdoorsy type, then be an outdoorsy type. Sounds insanely simple, and it is. I am already ordering more copies for my friends.

Sure, it OUGHT to be second nature, and we really SHOULD be asking most of these questions anyway. That's part of the beauty of this book: the questions are so simple and useful that it seems uneccessary to compile them into a book. However, many of us get caught up in a relationship before we have been able to ask more than just a few questions of our prospective partner, and by that time we are willing to overlook a lot of what we find out later.

This book is not only useful for "interviewing" prospective partners. As a tool for getting to know the people in your life better, this book provides questions that help you find commonalities with co-workers, friends, family, activity partners, etc. I found "Intellectual Foreplay" to also be a good way for me to know myself better- to evaluate my own goals and ideals - by asking myself some of the questions Eve Hogan has compiled.

Can you live life without this book? Do you already ask a lot of these questionsof people anyway? Sure. But a good book doesn't always rewrite everything we do - hopefully it simply improves it.

I've been carrying this book around for two months straight, reading through it with my boyfriend of almost 2 years and discovering things about each other we took for granted. Although some of the questions may not apply because of each individual's preferences and lifestyles, there are many that are thought provoking and eye opening. They focus your mind on the qualities of the other person that matter to you, and help you put together a clearer, more detailed picture of who the other person is. One thing it did for me is it helped me map my value system. This is not the type of book you read once and file away on a bookshelf. As far as the (only) negative review this book received, I found it unreliable, coming from an obviously embittered cynic who thinks every question in the book should apply to her and provoke some kind of Buddhist enlightenment. Perhaps she needs to make a trip to Tibet. For those of us looking for a practical guide to discover more about our potential mates, I highly recommend this book.

I wish I'd had this book available to me before both my first and second marriage! It would have helped me to not only know my partners-to-be better, but also MYSELF in the process. I now refer to this book when I'm in dating situations to help me get to know the ladies I'm spending time with. I'm also going to send a copy to my 21 year old son so that he can make more intelligent, informed decisions about getting into, or staying in, a relationship. Thank you Eve and Steve!

Communication is a wonderful thing. It is more than just verbal volleying. It is the changing and exchanging of information between two parties. Are you ready for the hard questions? Many people are not. This is why premarital counseling rarely works. If only one person is interested in truth, the integrity of the relationship will likely be woefully unbalanced. Another question is how do you know they've answered truthfully? Like Doggiestyle's Storyteller questions, the Hogans have constructed a series of questions that once answered, will tell you the story of what type of relationship you're really in. The true value in this book is more in how you answer these questions for yourself, rather than how your lover answers theirs.

The Rules is a great book on how to play the dating game.

However - when you're ready to stop playing games - buy THIS book.

In my opinion, it's the best ever about love and dating, it guides you to get to know your partner *as a human being*, but also teaches you how to be a great listener, and gets you in touch with yourself.

After browsing the book, I got copies for my wife, 2 daughters, a protege at work, and our marriage counselor. It provides questions that I might never have thought of asking. Even if you don't ask a prospective mate the questions, it provides a way to understand yourself, what's important to you, and what you really want in a relationship. It provides a framework to ask the really important questions. I highly recommend it.

I've been reading Intellectual Foreplay a lot...and it's amazingly accurate. I'm in a long-distance relationship and since we don't see eachother that often, we've been talking to eachother a lot, and we asked eachother the exact same questions that are in this book. I was stunned when I saw that. It's a really easy-to-read book with tons of deep-going questions that really make you think about relationships. It's not just a book telling you to do this or that, or telling you what's good or bad. It's a book that's open to a lot of thoughts and makes you aware that everyone's different and that there's more than one path to choose from.

If there would be something like a "Love Bible", this would be it...trust me.

Being a young lady and all, I found this book to be a "life saver". This book allows you to get in touch with not only your partner, but also yourself. This book has helped me in more ways than one. It can help you too. I highly recommend "Intellectual Foreplay" to both singles and couples.

If you are in a relationship or looking for a relationship, this book is a must. My boyfriend and I bought this book a couple of years ago when it felt like we were running out of things to talk about. We used it CONSTANTLY while traveling and anytime we had a few minutes of downtime. The questions are thought-provoking. Some are serious, some are silly. Some are obvious questions, some are questions that you should ask but would never think of - until its too late. When we finally got engaged, and went to an engaged encounter, we found that we had already talked about all of the things that were covered. We didn't always agree on the answers, but that's the other great thing about this book. We figured out how to argue, and still be in a great relationship. We've now been married for almost a year, and have started revisiting the book on our long travels. BUY THIS BOOK! YOU WON'T REGRET IT!