Interfaith Families: Personal Stories of Jewish-Christian Intermarriage [Paperback]

Jane Kaplan (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: March 1, 2005

As the number of Jewish-Christian marriages in America continues to rise, couples find themselves searching for ways to reconcile love and religion. Even when neither partner has a particular religious life, they are confronted with related conflicts. Should children be raised in one faith and not the other? Who decides which holidays to celebrate and how? How can couples deal with extended family members who may not understand or accept their interfaith marriage? Through personal narratives, couples will find an array of approaches and peronal insight.

Editorial Reviews

Review

.,."I have used Jane Kaplan's book to bring real people's stories into the room while helping couples and families in the process of understanding and making interfaith decisions. The book helps folks hear struggles, thoughts, feelings, conflicts, and joys of others in similar positions. Hearing these stories creates a support group for each and every person. In the book, there is always someone in which to identify. There is always some alternative that is new and creative. There is always one story to help soothe a struggle...."-Mary Jo Barrett, Director of Training Center for Contextual Change University of Chicago --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

Book Description

Couples in Jewish-Christian marriages describe their experiences and reveal intimate details of their lives as members of these unique families.

--This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 238 pages
• Publisher: Seabury Books (March 1, 2005)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 159627011X
• ISBN-13: 978-1596270114
• Product Dimensions: 8.8 x 6 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #305,427 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

12 of 12 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Very Informative, July 27, 2008

By 

K. Hughes (Ottawa, Canada) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Interfaith Families: Personal Stories of Jewish-Christian Intermarriage (Paperback)

A very insightful book. I'm currently in an interfaith relationship which has the possibility of someday becoming serious. I read this to learn what I was getting into and for some insight on the choices I may have to make someday.

The book confirmed what me and my boyfriend felt all along and warned us of some obstacles we may have to overcome in the future.

Basically, its made up of first person stories and reflections. These stories are broken into sections based on the approach the family took.

First was families who kept Jewish homes and raised their children to identify as Jews. Most of these families had a positive experience. Some obstacles were that the Jewish partner wasn't that observant and actually left it up to the Christian partner to teach the children about Judaism, and to keep a kosher home and do all the holiday work. My reaction to this section was that it convinced me this was a positive and practicial way to go.

Second was families who have Christian homes and raised their children as Christians. This typically only happened if the Jewish partner themselves was from a mixed family (had a Christian parent). The Jewish partners in this section were not only non-observant, but also semi observant of Christian holidays. These families seemed happy, but my reaction was that unless the Jewish partner came from a mixed home, this is a very unlikely approach.

Third was families which attempted to raise their children both Jewish and Christian. In most cases this was a disaster. Identity confusion, hostility between partners and regret was common. After reading this section, its not an approach I would consider.

Fourth was families who "tried something else." This was diverse, including nothing, or being secular or apathetic. I felt this was a disaster, and most families said they regretted this. Another family raise their 2 sons as Jews and 1 daughter as a Christian. This family clearly expressed that this was an experiment gone bad, and not to do this. I agree. In this whole section, the families seemed like they regretted their choice and were not that happy. The only exception is the family which decided to join a Unitarian Universalist congregation, they were very happy and it seemed positive. This chapter definitely convinced me that children need some religious training, anything is better than nothing.

The Fifth and final section was on families in which one partner converted. Some of these families were happy, some of these families were strained after waiting years and years for the conversion to happen, some were estranged from their parents, and some of these families are broken and now divorced. Over all, this chapter was very negative and cast a negative light on conversion.

I think the writing and presentational style in this book is great. I agree with most of the points it makes and I think its well researched with the exception of the conversion chapter.

I am giving this book 4/5 instead of 5/5 because I feel there was a strong selection bias on the families in the conversion chapter. The only families considered for this chapter were ones in which the partner did not convert for spiritual reasons, but instead converted because their spouse or in laws pressured them to. And all the conversions were conducted after the couple was wed. This likely explains the high divorce rate among these couples - one partner is doing something they spiritually are in conflict with just to please the other. I think that if this chapter had included examples of people who converted for practicial and spiritaul reasons pre-marriage, then the outcome would be different.

My boyfriend never read the book, but he likes it because it essentially convinced me that keeping Jewish home and having Jewish children is the right thing for us to do.

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent Reading, April 12, 2004

By 

"joyciegee" (Kentucky) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Interfaith Families: Personal Stories of Jewish-Christian Intermarriage (Hardcover)

This is an excellent book. Although written about a serious subject, it is extremely easy to read and hard to put down. I would recommend this book to anyone who is in, contemplating to be in, or just interested in Interfaith Marriages or relationships. Opens eyes to both sides of the story from very different personal views. It's non-judgemental, although factual and it some of the feelings expressed will surely hit home for many people. I also would recommend this book to anyone who is in the "counseling" field.

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Absolutely Wonderful, May 6, 2004

By 

veracheck (Flushing, New Hork) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Interfaith Families: Personal Stories of Jewish-Christian Intermarriage (Hardcover)

I read this book and thought it was wonderful. I hated to put it down and wanted to know how the next couple handled the situation. Each story came through with honesty and integrity. This book is a must for couples that are in or going into an interfaith marriage. It shows the different solutions chosen by couples in a very personal manner.