Joan C. Hawxhurst is the founding editor of the independent bimonthly periodical Dovetail: A Journal by and for Jewish/Christian Families, which has been serving the needs of interfaith couples and their children for over six years. She has been interviewed for dozens of magazine and newspaper articles, as well as radio and TV segments, on the topic of interfaith marriage.
A practicing United Methodist, she lives with her Jewish husband and two children in Kalamazoo, Michigan. Hawxhurst founded Dovetail in 1992 upon realizing that interfaith families had a difficult time finding resources which balance and respect the faiths of both partners. She believed that interfaith families needed an independent vehicle to share experiences and support each other. With an MA in international relations from Yale University and ten years of writing and editing experience, she decided to create a new kind of resource, and Dovetail Publishing was born.
Prior to starting Dovetail, Hawxhurst worked for the Board of Global Ministries of the United Methodist Church, spending time in Argentina and Washington, DC, working with human rights organizations. She currently serves on the Interfaith Relations Commission of the National Council of Churches. She is the author of several books for grade school students as well as numerous articles for national periodicals, on topics ranging from interfaith marriage to international debt in South America.
As the first book from Dovetail Publishing, Hawxhurst in 1996 edited Interfaith Wedding Ceremonies: Samples and Sources. This unique collection of meaningful and inclusive dual-faith wedding ceremonies has been described by one expert in the field as "a real and lasting contribution to available resources for interfaith couples."
Dovetail Publishing's award-winning second book, Bubbe and Gram: My Two Grandmothers, is a children's book written by Hawxhurst in late 1996. Bubbe and Gram won a 1997 Benjamin Franklin Silver Medal Award for excellence in independent publishing (given by the Publishers' Marketing Association), as well as the 1998 Helen Keating Ott Award for Outstanding Contribution to Children's Literature (given by the Church and Synagogue Library Association). New from Dovetail Publishing, and also authored by Hawxhurst, is The Interfaith Family Guidebook: Practical Advice for Jewish and Christian Partners, available in June 1998.
From Chapter One: Why Do You Need This Book?
When a Jew and a Christian make the decision to marry, they begin a journey of challenges and opportunities that will last a lifetime. Often interfaith couples feel isolated and alone in making these important decisions. Their religious institutions are sometimes cold, sometimes ill-equipped to help them navigate the specific issues they face.
If you can stand the stiff winds and strong waves associated with a sea change, it's an exciting time to be part of an interfaith family in the United States. While Jewish/Christian families are still faced regularly with negative responses from family and community, and while your path is still strewn with difficult decisions and uncomfortable discussions, you are beginning to attract the attention and interest of others who wish to observe and understand your unique situation. You are being taken quite seriously by researchers and granting agencies alike.
And with good reason. According to the most recent and reliable population studies, there are about one million Jewish/Christian couples in this country, and that number grows by about 40,000 each year. The national rate of interfaith marriage for Jews marrying today is 52 percent. In other words, more than half of the Jews getting married this year will marry people who aren't Jewish (and most of these partners will be Christians). It has been estimated that by the year 2030, there will be more children born of Jewish-Christian couples than children born of two Jewish parents.
Despite their growing numbers, interfaith families have to look hard for information and help. When Dovetail, the national periodical for Jewish/Christian families, was founded in 1992, it was the first periodical to attempt to balance and respect the perspectives of both Jewish and Christian partners in interfaith marriages. For the first time, interfaith families could have up-to-date information delivered to their doorstep. In the tradition of Dovetail, this book will give you an opportunity to ask your own questions and share your own insights. And it will not condemn your decisions or take sides.
Is This Book for You?
Are you and your partner looking for insight and support from other Jewish-Christian couples? Are you trying to sort out conflicting emotions about your daughter or son's intermarriage? Would you like to hear about others who grew up in interfaith families? Do you wonder which holidays to celebrate with your children, and how to help them understand and appreciate both of your faiths? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then this book is for you.
These are some of the topics covered in this guidebook:
holiday explanations, traditions, and new ways of celebrating,
programs--institutional and independent--for interfaith couples, their parents and kids,
life cycle events, such as marriage, birth, entrance into a religious community, and death,
related family issues, such as how to deal with a mother-in-law or how to encourage family discussions,
spiritual questions, such as how parents are trying to understand their own evolving thoughts as they teach their children about God.
Communication is Key
Over and over again, you will hear from the experts and couples in this book that good communication is at the heart of every successful interfaith marriage. When two partners are able to share their feelings honestly and openly, and are willing to respect each other's differing outlooks, they are crossing the biggest hurdle facing them. When they are unable to be open and honest with one another, they are setting up roadblocks which may trip them up in the future.
Susan Silverman LaDuca, Ph.D., a therapist and partner in an interfaith marriage, stresses the significance of building trust and open communication. "It is important for partners in a Jewish/Christian marriage to develop a trustworthy relationship which respects and acknowledges each partner's distinct religious and cultural heritage, regardless of which religion, if any, the couple chooses to observe."
