The Interracial Dating Book for Black Women Who Want to Date White Men [Paperback]

Adam White (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 1, 1999

This book shows Black women how to go about getting involved in interracial relationships and deal with the social pressures that such relationships inevitably attract. It shows how you can clear out your old social conditioning and inhibitions about interracial relationships, tune out the expectations that you should date only Blacks and clarify your reasons for romantic and sexual attraction to White men. This book shows where and how you can go about meeting White men, how to make yourself more interracially approachable, offers guidelines for screening mature and emotionally available White males into your social life and helps you move beyond the shortage of Black men. This book clears away the misconceptions that all too many Black women have about White men and explains what really goes on inside the minds of White men who seek out and date Black women. Women often see men as foreign psychological territory, and racial differences can accentuate such misperceptions and misunderstandings. Black women who have considered the possibilities that interracial relationships offer are all too familiar with the broad spectrum of unspoken taboos and social pressures often serve to block

Black women from getting involved in interracial relationships. This book explains the psychosexual origins of the various forms of social opposition to those wearing "the scarlet letter of interracial dating," from the stares interracial couples encounter almost everywhere they go, to why parents work so hard at breaking up the interracial relationships of their offspring to why certain types of disturbed individuals become enraged at the sight of total strangers who happen to be in interracial relationships. Find out how you can best understand, cope with, and tune out, the variety of social pressures that often inhibit Black women from getting, and staying, involved with White men and initiate unembarrassed interracial relationships.

Table Of Contents

1/Why Black Women Should Consider Dating Interracially
2/Reprogramming Yourself For Interracial Dating, Part I
3/Reprogramming Yourself For Interracial Dating, Part II
4/White Male Emotional Availability And Dating Interests
5/Ground Rules For Potential Compatibility
6/Making Yourself More Approachable, Part I
7/Making Yourself More Approachable, Part II
8/Making Yourself More Approachable, Part III
9: Where And How To Meet White Men, Part I
10/Where And How To Meet White Men, Part II
11/Mistakes To Avoid
12/The Scarlet Letter Of Interracial Dating, Part I
13/The Scarlet Letter Of Interracial Dating, Part II
14/Understanding The Opposition To Interracial Relationships, Part I
15/Understanding The Opposition To Interracial Relationships, Part II
16/Understanding The Opposition To Interracial Relationships, Part III
17/Motivating Yourself

--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher

Black women can bypass the shortage of Black men by dating White men. This book shows how to clear out your old social conditioning and inhibitions about interracial relationships, tune out expectations that you date only Blacks and clarify your reasons for romantic and sexual attraction to White men. It shows you where and how to meet White men, how to make yourself more interracially approachable and gives guidelines for screening emotionally available White males into your social life. Women often see men as foreign psychological territory, and racial differences accentuate this misperception. This book clears away the misconceptions all too many Black women have about White men and explains what goes on in the minds of White men who seek out and date Black women.

A broad spectrum of taboos and social pressures block Black women from getting into interracial relationships. This book explains the psychosexual origins of the various forms of social opposition to those wearing "the scarlet letter of interracial dating," from the stares interracial couples encounter almost everywhere they go, to why parents work so hard at breaking up the interracial relationships of their offspring to why certain types of disturbed individuals become enraged at the sight of total strangers who happen to be in interracial relationships. This book shows how to better understand, cope with, and tune out the various social pressures and initiate unembarrassed interracial relationships.

Product Details

• Paperback: 389 pages
• Publisher: Universal Publishers (October 1, 1999)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1581128002
• ISBN-13: 978-1581128000
• Product Dimensions: 8.6 x 5.6 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 2.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (35 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,012,152 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

138 of 153 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars If I wrote something this bad I'd use a pseudonym, too!, May 25, 2001

By 

GypsyHeart (Virginia, USA) - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: The Interracial Dating Book for Black Women Who Want to Date White Men (Paperback)

Coming from a multicultural background, I always enjoy books about interracial relationships. When I happened across this interracial dating guide on Amazon, I thought it would make an interesting read. Bad idea.

The first warning bells sounded when I realized that there was no information about the person behind the "Adam White" pseudonym. Who is he, and what makes him qualified to write about this subject? When an author goes beyond using a pseudonym to shield his complete identity from the reader, I can't help but wonder what's wrong.

As soon as I began reading the text I was bothered by the author's failure to follow even elementary rules of good writing. Almost every point he made was repeated, nearly verbatim, in several places. He also used such a limited vocabulary that I felt I was reading a young adult novel on par with R.L. Stine's "Goosebumps" books. Plus, he never provided any real bases for his conclusions. The entire book reads like a poorly written high school term paper.

My third major complaint was the seemingly racist and patronizing attitude the author displayed toward blacks. One bit of advice was for black women to ignore other blacks in public and focus exclusively on white males to make themselves more cross-culturally appealing. Why would any self-respecting black woman want a man who only found her desirable when she distanced herself from those who shared her racial background?

Additionally, the behaviors that Smith advocates appear self-destructive and self-hating--I thought the goal was to date whites, not to become white. Yet the author's suggestions include not wearing ethnic attire so as not to appear hostile, not wearing a great deal of jewelry because that's associated with "blackness," and not discussing issues with racial overtones so as not to make white men uncomfortable. Smith also contributes such "gems of wisdom" as: read books about interracial romances in public so whites will know that you are receptive, work to overcome the discomfort you will surely feel at the unaccustomed situation of meeting blue or green eyes, and dress like the white women you know.

The only people who will derive any benefit from the information in this book are those who know zero about white men. And if you know nothing about them, what makes you want to date them anyway? Surely it's not because you buy into the author's contentions that most black males are either inmates or emotionally immature "players" taking advantage of the "surplus" numbers of black women?

As a minority woman who has always socialized with and dated whites, I feel this book is neither relevant nor helpful for anyone who truly wishes to expand her cultural dating horizons. Rather than living up to its name, it never rises above being a money making gimmick designed to take advantage of the gullible.

If you really want to date interracially, the cost of this book is better spent on an evening out someplace where single white men socialize.

21 of 23 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Don't waste your money..., June 6, 2007

By 

J. Johnson (Ohio) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Interracial Dating Book for Black Women Who Want to Date White Men (Paperback)

I am an educated black woman in my mid-twenties who has been attracted to white men since puberty. I have dated both white and black men and I can tell you that there are no-good men in both races who are devoid of character and responsibility. There are also good men in both races. I was raised in a family headed by a well-educated and hard-working black man who put his children first (and he did not marry a white woman either), so don't think that there aren't any decent black men out here. What is the point of reading a book full of misleading and damaging stereotypes? If you are a black woman doing better than many of your male counterparts (or whatever), you should be smart enough not to buy into stereotypes.

Why should I have to change myself to attract a White man? If a white man wants someone who "acts" white (whatever that is), then they'll get a white woman. Besides, most of the relationships I've seen between white men and black women feature black women who are comfortable with their black identity, and white men who are comfortable with his woman's black identity. If he isn't okay with you being connected to your black identity, then he's not even worth your time.

Black women, if you want to date White men, that's fine, but do it because you're truly into them, not because you're tired of Black men. This book is about settling for White men because of "loser" black men, which feeds into the stereotype of black women as desperate. Don't ever settle for something other than what you really want.

78 of 96 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars a revolting smorgasboard of racism, paternalism & stereotype, November 28, 1999

By 

ZB (NYC) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Interracial Dating Book for Black Women Who Want to Date White Men (Paperback)

Let me say that I'm a white man who has dated several black women. I read the first chapter of this book and felt the urge to vomit. I don't know what the author's purpose was but the result was a gross catalog of stereotypes. ("Black women should consider the financial security man white men offer" was one tidbit.)