Customer Reviews

The Interracial Dating Book for Black Women Who Want to Date White Men

5 star:		(11)
4 star:		(5)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(17)

 

 

Coming from a multicultural background, I always enjoy books about interracial relationships. When I happened across this interracial dating guide on Amazon, I thought it would make an interesting read. Bad idea.

The first warning bells sounded when I realized that there was no information about the person behind the "Adam White" pseudonym. Who is he, and what makes him qualified to write about this subject? When an author goes beyond using a pseudonym to shield his complete identity from the reader, I can't help but wonder what's wrong.

As soon as I began reading the text I was bothered by the author's failure to follow even elementary rules of good writing. Almost every point he made was repeated, nearly verbatim, in several places. He also used such a limited vocabulary that I felt I was reading a young adult novel on par with R.L. Stine's "Goosebumps" books. Plus, he never provided any real bases for his conclusions. The entire book reads like a poorly written high school term paper.

My third major complaint was the seemingly racist and patronizing attitude the author displayed toward blacks. One bit of advice was for black women to ignore other blacks in public and focus exclusively on white males to make themselves more cross-culturally appealing. Why would any self-respecting black woman want a man who only found her desirable when she distanced herself from those who shared her racial background?

Additionally, the behaviors that Smith advocates appear self-destructive and self-hating--I thought the goal was to date whites, not to become white. Yet the author's suggestions include not wearing ethnic attire so as not to appear hostile, not wearing a great deal of jewelry because that's associated with "blackness," and not discussing issues with racial overtones so as not to make white men uncomfortable. Smith also contributes such "gems of wisdom" as: read books about interracial romances in public so whites will know that you are receptive, work to overcome the discomfort you will surely feel at the unaccustomed situation of meeting blue or green eyes, and dress like the white women you know.

The only people who will derive any benefit from the information in this book are those who know zero about white men. And if you know nothing about them, what makes you want to date them anyway? Surely it's not because you buy into the author's contentions that most black males are either inmates or emotionally immature "players" taking advantage of the "surplus" numbers of black women?

As a minority woman who has always socialized with and dated whites, I feel this book is neither relevant nor helpful for anyone who truly wishes to expand her cultural dating horizons. Rather than living up to its name, it never rises above being a money making gimmick designed to take advantage of the gullible.

If you really want to date interracially, the cost of this book is better spent on an evening out someplace where single white men socialize.

I am an educated black woman in my mid-twenties who has been attracted to white men since puberty. I have dated both white and black men and I can tell you that there are no-good men in both races who are devoid of character and responsibility. There are also good men in both races. I was raised in a family headed by a well-educated and hard-working black man who put his children first (and he did not marry a white woman either), so don't think that there aren't any decent black men out here. What is the point of reading a book full of misleading and damaging stereotypes? If you are a black woman doing better than many of your male counterparts (or whatever), you should be smart enough not to buy into stereotypes.

Why should I have to change myself to attract a White man? If a white man wants someone who "acts" white (whatever that is), then they'll get a white woman. Besides, most of the relationships I've seen between white men and black women feature black women who are comfortable with their black identity, and white men who are comfortable with his woman's black identity. If he isn't okay with you being connected to your black identity, then he's not even worth your time.

Black women, if you want to date White men, that's fine, but do it because you're truly into them, not because you're tired of Black men. This book is about settling for White men because of "loser" black men, which feeds into the stereotype of black women as desperate. Don't ever settle for something other than what you really want.

Let me say that I'm a white man who has dated several black women. I read the first chapter of this book and felt the urge to vomit. I don't know what the author's purpose was but the result was a gross catalog of stereotypes. ("Black women should consider the financial security man white men offer" was one tidbit.)

The bottom line on this book is it is aimed at black women who are interested, intrigued, curious, have thought about, are not opposed to dating outside their race: white men in particular. As a black woman, I think it is as good as any in getting at the heart of many of the issues and concerns that typically plague black women in the search for companionship and fulfilment. As someone else mentioned, he deals with issues like history, and black women's self-defeating insecurites etc. It's as good as anything out there in helping you make this decison about crossing the color line without feeling guilt or any such thing. It's time, black women, and you'll appreciate White's candor and understanding of the issues. A few of the critics of White are black men (some pretending to be other things). That's understandable. Read his book and you'll see how to deal with this sort of opposition to assertion of your free will.

I HIGHLY recommend for the professional/intelligent Black woman who is interested in dating a White male counterpart.

Before I go further, I can honestly attest that since reading this book, I have had my first dates with two professional White men and had a great time. FYI--I don't know the author and no one paid me to write this- I just remember when it was I reading the reviews wondering if the book was good. In recent months, I wanted to date exclusively White men, but just didn't know where to start until I heard about this book.

This book was an easy read. When I started, I jumped around but I couldn't put it down. I felt as if I had a trusted White friend giving me the real "insides" to dating White men. I don't know if there's another "How To" kind of book on the market like this, but I learned a lot; and it explained a lot of "why's" in my previous attempts to attract White men. I work for a major corporation with thousands of successful, single White men all around me, but I just couldn't make the connection before.

I don't want to give all of the secrets to the book away, but I was shocked when reading that SOME White men think that Black men would be angry at him for dating a Black woman and that Black Women seem "cold". Ahh, now I see. Little does the White man know that A LOT OF TIMES, when a Black woman becomes very successful (as God & hard work has helped me be), the selection of equally compatible Black men gets very thin and of those men, they too...prefer White.

One last piece. Sure, there are good and bad people in ALL races, but I'm talking about, good, professional/working White men. In just dating two, I have seen the difference between night and day from most of the Black men I've dated throughout my life. In the book, I tried the author's suggestion on meeting them and it worked! When we went on our dates (one for lunch and one to an upscale club), the White men took me to really nice places (that I would not have known to go) and treated me very well (like a White woman- no embarassments that I was Black nor the desire to take me to the cheapest places in town). I'm easy to please and they really enjoyed making me happy. A lot of White men have more love, time, hobbies and money to spend with that right lady (of any color), if you are his match, why not it be you?

I am a professional Black woman and believe that this book was geared to this type of group (as indicated by those who give it a positive review). Don't wait another minute, order this book now and it'll change your life for the better... :>) <CL>

I am a black woman who happens to be dating a white man. However, when I first came across this book a few years ago, I was offended and frankly, shocked that something this blatantly racist and disrespectful could have been printed under the guise of a self-help book. Whoever the author may be, s/he must realise that the way to make a rational argument to the intended reading audience of black females is NOT to insult black men, who represent her brothers, her father or her friends. Another review on this board took the words right out of my mouth, when it stated that historically, it has been white-not black men-who have perpetuated the myth of the black [...], and who have been heavily invested in creating a sexually degraded image of the black woman in order to justify his sexual exploitation of her. Half of me believes [or wants to believe] that this book is actually a satire. I hope one day to have my hopes confirmed!!

I was kind of skeptical on approaching Mr. White's book. Maybe he would handle the subject in a sensational manner. Maybe he would do as the first reviewer here claimed and be patronizing etc. No such thing. I would strongly advise black women and white men, interested in dating, whether interracially or not, to read this book. I just felt it was very well written and obviously well-though out. The author has done a lot of work here and certainly knows what he's talking about. He seems really interested in getting like minded individuals in happy relationships. He breaks through all the nonsense, gives you the history, psychology, just absoloutely everything and the result is a book that is accurate, honest and gets straigh to the heart of black women finding the types of relationships deserving of them as grown up women with the same needs of self-fulfilment and happiness as everybody else. White doesn't hector, or "patronize" or try to convert, he just gets to the facts and for his readers it should be well appreciated.

A very sensitive, well researched book. Adam White addresses all the historical baggage that black women are sagged with. He takes a mature, thoughtful, intelligent approach to the subject of black women finding a relationship that proves to be emotionally satisfying and hopefully free of guilt. Suprisingly well written and free of hysteria.

On one level I don't have a problem with a book like this as I am sure there are some black women who would prefer to read about this topic (rather than trust their gut and go with experience as I have many times in my life). However, I don't believe one can "market" themselves to appeal to another person. All white men or any men for that matter are not the same. Neither are women. Want the real skinny on dating? BE YOURSELF...and if it's meant to be, it will happen...regardless the color of the person.

I'm a white man that is interested in dating black women.
However, I don't want a black woman that dresses different
to attract white men. I want a black women and not a white
women with darker skin. And to hate and be negitive of black
men is also moronic.

Wortless book! Save your money and go buy a DVD or something
as you will be much better off than reading this rubbish.