Customer Reviews

The Intimacy Dance: A Guide to Long-Term Success in Gay and Lesbian Relationships

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1 star:		(1)

 

 

This book is great! I have read a large number of gay relationship books lately - trying to figure out why my partner of 8 years wanted to all of a sudden break up. We had never had an argument and got along just fine (or so I thought). After reading Ms. Berzon's book, I realized that we were only touching the surface of our relationship potential. Realizing this, finding out why, and what I could do about it has given me hope to save our relationship. Thanks to Ms. Berzon for this insightful and useful book.

This is a well-written, informative book. The author is insightful and understanding, at times penetratingly so, often drawing observations from both her personal, extended experience, and from the lives of those she counsels. She has the wisdom of one who has seen many social and cultural shifts over the past decade, and this is well-reflected in her work. No book is a magic bullet; this one inspires, encourages, and lends persective. Lesbian and Gay relationships are often targets of disruption because usually, nobody wants them to succeed; sometimes not even those who are in them. The author does an excellent job of tempering one's vision and supporting the need for building respectful boundaries in a loving, healthy relationship that nurtures and protects both people. I highly recommend this book; it was well-worth my time, attention, and investment.

I rarely write reviews, but I felt misled by the other review available for this book. The review is both well-written and encouraging. Unfortunately the same can't be said for Ms. Berzon's book. It's full of relationship clichés familiar to anyone who has watched daytime TV in the past 15 years, "alcohol can affect your sex life," "self-esteem issues can lead to infidelity." There are a few gay cliches to distinguish this from the trite of the self-help books available for straights, "gay men are less likely to assume that monogamy is an integral part of committed relationship" etc. These are not exact quotes, but they're accurate enough. Read the sample pages available here. The book doesn't get any more insightful. I'm sure we're all intrigued by the possibility that we may only be touching the surface of our relationship potential, but this book isn't going to help you.

the format of this book is some advice from betty berzon (author) backed up with related examples from her counseling career and her personal ltr. this book touches on different areas of gay life but doesn't seem to nail down any real suggestions for improvement and the book left me feeling unfulfilled. maybe i was expecting too much, i think the problem is that the book isn't very focused. i did pick up some good advice but it took me a while to get through the book.

Betty Berzon
The Intimacy Dance:
A Guide to Long-Term Success in Gay and Lesbian Relationships

(New York: Dutton, 1996) 291 pages
(ISBN: 0-525-94234-3; hardcover)
(Library of Congress call number: HQ76.3.U5B467 1996)

A breezy, self-help book for same-sex couples,
altho most of the advice would also help any couple.
Nothing profound of insightful.
But this is one of the first books that dealt with same-sex couples
as if this were a normal way to live.
Some of the issues:
jealousy; AIDS; public image; drug & alcohol abuse;
working thru personal conflicts.
Betty Berzon also shares stories from her own long-lasting lesbian love.
She practices psychotherapy, especially with gays, in Los Angeles.

If you would like to read better books on same-sex marriage,
search the Internet for the following precise expression:
"SAME-SEX MARRIAGE--FIRST BOOKS".

If you would like to work out your long-term relationship then I would suggest that you give this book a try.

It really opens your eyes/mind to things that you would never think about.