Intimacy [Paperback]

Henri J. M. Nouwen (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 22, 1981

Is love a possibility within our reach?

"We probably have wondered in our many lonesome moments if there is one corner in this competitive, demanding world where it is safe to be relaxed, to expose ourselves to someone else, and to give unconditionally. It might be very small and hidden. But if this corner exists, it calls for a search through the complexities of our human relationships in order to find it."
-- from Intimacy

Writing from his vast experience as a pastoral counselor, Henri Nouwen addresses the basic question, "How can I find a creative and fulfilling intimacy in my relationship with God an my fellow human beings?" He conducts a rich and insightful exploration into the balance between intimacy and distance, the problems in trying to develop lasting and productive relationships on all levels, and the connections between intimacy and sexuality, pray, faith, and the mental well-being of the minister. Intimacy is an essential resource for anyone struggling to grasp the profound implications of this most basic human needs.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Intimacy, by Henri J.M. Nouwen, explores the following question: "How can I find a creative and fulfilling intimacy in my relationship with God and my fellow human beings?" Nouwen's answers to this question describe the connections among friendship, romantic love, sexuality, prayer, and mental health. The book's style is straightforward: "Each chapter is written because someone ... asked a question," Nouwen writes in the book's introduction. "I wrote not to solve a problem or to formulate a theory but to respond to men and women who wanted to share their struggles in trying to find their vocation in this chaotic world." Intimacy may be especially helpful for readers who serve in some ministerial capacity--the chapter on depression among seminarians, for instance, will be a cloud-clearing relief to many readers. However, Intimacy contains much helpful counsel for all Christian readers who are discovering their "seldom articulated and often unrecognized desire for a real home in this world." --Michael Joseph Gross

Review

“On the long road it’s good to have Nouwen and his diving rod. Deftly he bends toward the drop of spiritual wisdom caked in the most ordinary things.” (Sister Helen Prejean, C.S.J., author of Dead Man Walking )

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 160 pages
• Publisher: HarperOne (April 22, 1981)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0060663235
• ISBN-13: 978-0060663230
• Product Dimensions: 7.8 x 5.3 x 0.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 5.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (8 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #390,105 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Henri Nouwen was born in Holland in 1932 and ordained a Catholic priest in 1957. He obtained his doctorandus in psychology from Nijmegen University in the Netherlands and taught at Notre Dame, Yale, and Harvard. He experienced the monastic life with Trappist monks at the Abbey of the Genesee, lived among the poor in Latin America with the Maryknoll missioners, and was interested and active in numerous causes related to social justice. After a lifetime of seeking, Henri Nouwen finally found his home in Canada, as pastor of L'Arche Daybreak - where people with intellectual disabilities and their caregivers live together in community.

Henri Nouwen wrote over 40 books on spirituality and the spiritual life that have sold millions of copies and been translated into dozens of languages. His vision of spirituality was broad and inclusive, and his compassion embraced all of humankind.

He died in 1996. His work and his spirit live on.

Henri Nouwen pronounced his name "Henry Now-en." For more information on his life and work, please visit www.henrinouwen.org .

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

26 of 26 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Looking for excitement?, May 8, 2003

By 

Steve Gifford (lake forest, ca USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Intimacy (Paperback)

Those of us that attend "conservative/traditional" churches may often look with envy at those crazy folks having so much fun in the Pentacostal movement. Our services drone on with the excitement of a DMV line, while the church down the street rocks louder that Yosemite Falls. Are we missing something? Isn't our relationship with God supposed to BE a relationship, full of emotional ranges of joy to tears and back again, instead of sitting in pews wondering if we will be home in time for the "big game"?
We READ about the miracles Jesus performed but have never seen one. On Sunday morning, the congregation is busy taking notes on the sermon topic "Does God still heal"? Have we ever healed someone? Can we? Why are the early disciples so different than us? They act and talk in a way that shouts "We know our God!"
Where is the closeness, the passion, the intimacy that a relationship should have?
Yet what if I don't speak in tongues? What if I have never had a word of knowledge? Am I really a Christian? Do I have to raise my hands when I sing?
Henry Nouwen dives in this pool of wondering and may offend both the stoic Baptist and the barking in the Spirit Pentacostal. .He has a balanced view of how we can have intimacy with God and intimacy with others. The deadness of traditional Christianity can be replaced with guilt and depression, two of the most common ailments of the Pentacostal movement. Privacy gets tossed out in the Pentacostal churches, Henry argues, as people are forced to reveal deep hurts and pain as "cleansing" or to "release the demons"..
Henry concluded with a goal for intimacy within the Christian community: "a climate to allow searching without fear and questioning without shame..growth can only take place when belief and unbelief, doubt and faith, hope and despair can exist together."

23 of 23 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Not Just for Priests, July 17, 2001

By 

Bethany McKinney (Los Angeles, CA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Intimacy (Paperback)

Although this book is written to male, Catholic seminarians or Priests, there are many aspects of it that are applicable to anyone who follows God and desires intimacy in their relationships with God and others. Nouwen writes beautifully and reminds us that the importance in loving is being able to do so with our whole selves without consideration on how much love we'd be getting back. Several of the sections are particularized to a Catholic seminary lifestyle, but the lessons and insights Nouwen explains can also be generalized to protestant seminary life, life in college fellowships, and just fellowship groups within churches. The later parts of the book are less involved directly with issues of intimacy though. They are more about environments which are conducive to creating healthy intimacy and those which aren't, so it's less directly concerned with personal cultivation of fulfilling intimacy. But there are definitely some good tidbits about intimacy in this book, and if that's an issue you want to have a deeper understanding of, this book is well worth your time.

28 of 34 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Intimacy has universal appeal., June 10, 2000

By A Customer

This review is from: Intimacy (Paperback)

Each chapter of this book was written because someone asked a question. The unifying theme is expressed as a question: How can I find a creative and fulfilling intimacy in my relationship with God and my fellow human beings? Henri Nouwen wrote these essays to those who wanted to share their struggles in trying to find their vocation, in response to people's seldom articulated and often unrecognized desire for a real home in this world.

The author has written an insightful, easy to read book. I have been provided with insights that are very pertinent and timely. Despite the fact that the book is addressed to young, male, Catholic, seminary students, it has universal appeal for all who are exploring the question of vocation in the priesthood. Nouwen's philosophy of love and the place of vulnerability and openness give hope to those who crave intimacy in relationships. He provides a persuasive model for religious and spiritual growth that blends various psychologies. The chapter on student prayers validates all levels and depths of spirituality, and shows how maturity can be measured by the state of one's prayer life. Looking back at the growth of my own prayer life, I find this comforting. As I struggle with such issues as the fundamental religiosity of some people, and whether it is valid and healthy, the challenges that theological education have brought to my faith and the accompanying confusion, and the way to maintain mental health, this book has provided an invaluable guide. The realization that I am not alone in asking these questions is reassuring.

With insights from this book, a better understanding of parishioners is possible which will result in better relationships and greater acceptance of all people no matter what their stage of faith. As the parish priest, whether newly ordained or experienced, gains understanding into self, and acceptance of and respect for self, all members of the parish will benefit. Nouwen gently provides ways in which energy and commitment can be fostered which will help the priest and congregation grow to spiritual maturity.