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Intimate Allies: Rediscovering God's Design for Marriage and Becoming Soul Mates for Life Paperback – February 27, 1999


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 400 pages
  • Publisher: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. (February 27, 1999)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0842318240
  • ISBN-13: 978-0842318242
  • Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.5 x 1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (28 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #266,620 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Dr. Dan B. Allender has pioneered a unique and innovative approach to trauma and abuse therapy over the past 25 years. Central to Dr. Allender's approach are the categories of Faith, Hope and Love and their converse betrayal, ambivalence, and powerlessness. Through engaging these categories and in learning to identify them in one's personal story, healing and transformation can occur by bridging the story of the gospel and the stories of trauma and abuse that mark so many.

Having received his Master of Divinity from Westminster Theological Seminary, Dr. Allender went on to earn his Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from Michigan State University. Dan taught in the Biblical Counseling Department of Grace Theological Seminary for seven years (1983-1989). From 1989-1997, Dan worked as professor in the Master of Arts in Biblical Counseling program at Colorado Christian University, Denver, Colorado. In 1997, Dan with a cadre of others founded The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology in order to train therapists and pastors to more effectively serve in the context of the 21st century. Dan served as President of The Seattle School from 2002-2009.

Dan continues to serves as Professor of Counseling Psychology at The Seattle School. He travels and speaks extensively to present his unique perspective on sexual abuse recovery, love & forgiveness, worship, and other related topics. Dan is the author of The Wounded Heart and The Healing Path and has co-authored several books with Dr. Tremper Longman (Intimate Allies, The Cry of the Soul, Bold Love and Bold Purpose).

Customer Reviews

Allender and Longman for putting this excellent material together in book form for others to learn about and enjoy!
David C. Dunn
The author portrays the wife being happy because her husband is finally getting in touch with his negative side and actually smiles because he yelled at her.
Beth Hatch
This is an amazing book I would highly recommend for everyone, married, engaged, wanting to be married, and even single.
Heather

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

43 of 46 people found the following review helpful By scott davies on March 24, 2000
Format: Paperback
This Book is powerful and dissruptive. If you are afraid of looking at your own heart and motives, stay away. If you are looking for easy behavioral steps, don't read it. On the other hand, if you want to make your HEART available to the mysterious work of God in deeply changing you, by all means, this book is for you. The illustrations and stories paint pictures that will impact and disturb you, if your heart is open.
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23 of 24 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on August 4, 2003
Format: Paperback
I found as I read, laughed and cried with this book that I identified with many of the characters and scenarios. I appreciate Dr. Allender and Dr. Longman's styles as they are honest and up front about the culture, soul and text. They are not hiding behind Christian propaganda in this book but are nothing short of real. 3/4 into the book you have the idea of the script, but overall it is a very good text I have recommended to several couples.
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30 of 35 people found the following review helpful By Hanna on December 20, 2001
Format: Paperback
I thought it was worthwhile, I do see what others mean when they mention that there are only a few key truths, buried under lots of words...but those truths are good ones. I confess, I skipped right to the last chapters, and no, it doesn't give "answers" on how to solve problems, but it helped me to see my heart more clearly, and how I have contributed to our problems. I have read a few books by Allender & Longman, and it is a somewhat awkward arrangement (having 2 authors with pretty different styles). But if you can overlook the faults, this is an insightful book.
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14 of 15 people found the following review helpful By J. Sorenson on November 6, 2006
Format: Paperback
I am a Pastor and I give this book as a gift to newleyweds. I have found it to be very down-to-earth, not like some of the "how-to-stay-in-love" marriage manuals, but rather focused on serving together - looking at the larger world together - making your relationship strong by being accountable, etc. I LOVE the "communal" focus, making marriage part of the network of society instead of just "me & you babe". I like everything that Dan Allender writes. Filled with insight and practical wisdom.
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21 of 24 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on November 15, 1997
Format: Hardcover
Allendar & Longman have far surpassed books written by conservative Christian books on marriage. They bring a tremendous combination of Biblical and theological material into the practical questions that face spouses. The book is totally free from the well worn platitudes. It is a must read!
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15 of 17 people found the following review helpful By David C. Dunn on December 17, 2008
Format: Paperback
Intimate Allies by Allender and Longman is one of the very best books available on marriage. I own nearly 1,600 books and Initmate Allies ranks very near the top among my favorites. The other similar, philosophically-oriented marriage books I think are great are Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas and The Mystery of Marriage by Mike Mason. But, as some reviewers have noted with respect to Intimate Allies, these books are not practical, "do this, then that will happen," how-to sorts of books. They are more of a why and "what's marriage supposed to look like philosophically from a Christian perspective" kinds-of-books.

Scripture tells us that marriage is to be a reflected picture of the passionate, intimate, exclusive love relationship between Jesus Christ, the Bridegroom, and His church, the Bride. Unfortunately, most human marriages today--if they even survive--are mediocre at best. This sad reality occurs because we married couples, after the wedding, often take our eyes off of the loftier purposes and grander goals of our marriages--if we ever really understood them at all.

So, it's hard for American culture, broadly-defined, to get too excited about the institution of marriage or the God who is behind marriage when what marriages they see lived out today by those who call themselves Christians are often so pitiful. That's one reason for the exploding rates of cohabitation and why efforts to redefine marriage are so prevalent.

I believe the cultural and personal remedy is for all married couples to reexamine God's original plans and goals for marriage, to see how husbands and wives in marriage are supposed to function and relate to each other intimately as a couple.
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19 of 23 people found the following review helpful By A. J. Valasek on June 15, 2001
Format: Paperback
Biblicaly based, this book packs quite a punch. I like the approach the authors in that they go right at the tough stuff, peeling the hard layers back and examining the philosophy of marriage from God's point of view. I also like the fact that they not only deal with the common problems but even get at the working of the soul and the friendship or "alliance" that should exist in a marriage.
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14 of 17 people found the following review helpful By Jake Lindley on May 12, 2003
Format: Paperback
Great book to read as a couple. We use it in for a couples group at our church bacause it is very easy to identify with the men and women in the stories and beacause it teaches sound Biblical principles of marriage.
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