146 of 151 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
My wife and I like this book, November 30, 2004
This review is from: Intimate Issues: 21 Questions Christian Women Ask About Sex (Hardcover)
Okay, I'm not woman; but my wife is, and we both read and liked this book. Here's our combined review:
Pros:
1. Easy to read - Conversational style of writing and clear points. We each read it in one sitting.
2. Adults only - Sometimes a grown-up discussion is required. This is a book for married women (and men). It is explicit and direct (without being crude) about physical sexual information. It is definitely not appropriate for girls (or boys).
3. Scriptural approach - Instead of just giving motherly advice, the authors take the Bible seriously and frequently use it as a home base to direct their thoughts. Mind you, this is not a Bible study per se'. There is plenty of 21st century, frank counseling advice, but it is blended and based upon Biblical principles. Provides a scriptural index to locate where specific passages are mentioned - useful to Bible teachers.
4. Practical - Lots of ideas for rekindling relationship, romance, plain sex and other aspects of adult relationship. These are ideas you can start this week.
5. Both authors relate from personal experience - Both have personally wrestled with sexual questions and counseled many women. These personal accounts add a human dimension to the principles discussed. This isn't just another "name it and claim it" woman's book. Many personal stories are provided including tough ones where women are still struggling/praying through difficulties. This book explains their stories.
6. Focuses on Song of Solomon - The erotic portions of the Song indicate an expressive, sensuous, even adventurous attitude in romantic sexuality. These authors aren't the first to recognize its racy sections - which has led the church to skate around it in too many cases. It is part of God's word and has a purpose; this book helps illuminate the subject.
7. Good tool for adult couple communication - The frankness and openness from a woman's perspective is valuable to both men and women. This is not just another "men are pigs and need to change" woman's book. Men can learn quite a bit here without being put-off.
8. Emphasizes prayer - Example prayers to help with feelings of sexual inadequacy and temptation.
9. Role of Christian liberty - Scripture sets the boundaries of proper sexuality, don't just rely on Victorian era prudence. There is no compromise if the Scripture forbids certain practices, but there is responsible liberty where Scripture is silent. Provides 3 Biblical questions to ask if you aren't sure whether specific modern sexual practices belong in your marriage, (p203).
10. Men - Accurately describes male sexual needs and psyche - basic, but accurate.
11. Exercise - the physiological benefits for healthy sexuality are briefly explained. Encourages women to take care of, and appreciate, their bodies as they are right now. Don't try to be a supermodel.
Cons/concerns:
1. More insight into males - Needs more insight into male sexuality; men are half the equation. It is a women's book and does mention men have emotion and identity wrapped up in sex, but it does not provide enough examples of how this can affect common male-female relationship problems. The Scriptures showing how David, Joseph (of Genesis) and others handled, and mishandled, sex would be consistent with the books' approach, but are not discussed. Of course there are page limits for writers.
2. Lays a lot at the woman's feet - It's definitely not just another "men are pigs" book - there are already plenty of those. In fact, a feminist would likely critique this book for telling women to see sex with their husband as a pleasant responsibility in marriage. If it's not pleasant this is probably rooted in a spiritual issue. The book does not try to make women sex slaves in marriage, far from it. But, there are times when sex is treated as a ministry to your husband because he has so much emotion and expressive love tied up in sex, more so than women do. This may not sit well with some women; it will probably sit just fine with most men ;->.
3. Forcing modern openness about sex into the Bible? - Some conservatives might criticize the book for reading 20th century women's sexual liberation back into the Scriptures. There are some very explicit interpretations, especially in the Song of Solomon. Of course, the physical acts weren't invented recently; they may just get more attention now than in ancient times, or, maybe not. At the very least, the motive of the authors seems proper to me. Their interpretation is a corrective to the hyper prudence and stifling of healthy marital sexuality, within the Church, for many centuries. There are some risk-taking interpretations - and I think they have merit to at least be seriously considered. You'll have to read the book and decide for yourself.
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87 of 98 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Read The Book! Do'nt Become Another Statistic!, July 27, 2000
By A Customer
This review is from: Intimate Issues: 21 Questions Christian Women Ask About Sex (Hardcover)
I belong to a Bible study that is reading this book. What an amazing time it has been to fully ingest God's word and understand WHY HE created sex in the first place. Our views of sex have gone from to procreate to do it whenever and where ever with whom ever you want. I think that many of us Americans can say we tried that and what did it get us but some mixed up emotions and feeling in some ways used up? Was it all it was cracked up to be? Perhaps it wasn't all it was cracked up to be because we weren't going about it in the way it was planned in the first place. I always thought Christians or God's way would be for prudes....hello? Have you read the Bible? I hadn't. I had no clue. I had no idea that if you follow God's plan for sex in marriage ONLY that it could be so much better. I had no idea that God commands us to have sex almost contantly! We are only to obstain to pray for a short time and then rejoin so as to not be tempted by Satan? Read the book. Be transformed. I think this book or any book on this topic should be a must for any young couple deciding to get married. Heck, it should be earlier introduced to kids that question sex, so that they truly understand what God had planned...and to abstain not to be a prude, but because the best is yet to come. Renew your mind. Change your attitude. Enjoy God's gifts. These are lessons I have had to learn.
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