Customer Reviews

Intimate Issues: 21 Questions Christian Women Ask About Sex

5 star:		(56)
4 star:		(10)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

Okay, I'm not woman; but my wife is, and we both read and liked this book. Here's our combined review:

Pros:
1. Easy to read - Conversational style of writing and clear points. We each read it in one sitting.

2. Adults only - Sometimes a grown-up discussion is required. This is a book for married women (and men). It is explicit and direct (without being crude) about physical sexual information. It is definitely not appropriate for girls (or boys).

3. Scriptural approach - Instead of just giving motherly advice, the authors take the Bible seriously and frequently use it as a home base to direct their thoughts. Mind you, this is not a Bible study per se'. There is plenty of 21st century, frank counseling advice, but it is blended and based upon Biblical principles. Provides a scriptural index to locate where specific passages are mentioned - useful to Bible teachers.

4. Practical - Lots of ideas for rekindling relationship, romance, plain sex and other aspects of adult relationship. These are ideas you can start this week.

5. Both authors relate from personal experience - Both have personally wrestled with sexual questions and counseled many women. These personal accounts add a human dimension to the principles discussed. This isn't just another "name it and claim it" woman's book. Many personal stories are provided including tough ones where women are still struggling/praying through difficulties. This book explains their stories.

6. Focuses on Song of Solomon - The erotic portions of the Song indicate an expressive, sensuous, even adventurous attitude in romantic sexuality. These authors aren't the first to recognize its racy sections - which has led the church to skate around it in too many cases. It is part of God's word and has a purpose; this book helps illuminate the subject.

7. Good tool for adult couple communication - The frankness and openness from a woman's perspective is valuable to both men and women. This is not just another "men are pigs and need to change" woman's book. Men can learn quite a bit here without being put-off.

8. Emphasizes prayer - Example prayers to help with feelings of sexual inadequacy and temptation.

9. Role of Christian liberty - Scripture sets the boundaries of proper sexuality, don't just rely on Victorian era prudence. There is no compromise if the Scripture forbids certain practices, but there is responsible liberty where Scripture is silent. Provides 3 Biblical questions to ask if you aren't sure whether specific modern sexual practices belong in your marriage, (p203).

10. Men - Accurately describes male sexual needs and psyche - basic, but accurate.

11. Exercise - the physiological benefits for healthy sexuality are briefly explained. Encourages women to take care of, and appreciate, their bodies as they are right now. Don't try to be a supermodel.

Cons/concerns:

1. More insight into males - Needs more insight into male sexuality; men are half the equation. It is a women's book and does mention men have emotion and identity wrapped up in sex, but it does not provide enough examples of how this can affect common male-female relationship problems. The Scriptures showing how David, Joseph (of Genesis) and others handled, and mishandled, sex would be consistent with the books' approach, but are not discussed. Of course there are page limits for writers.

2. Lays a lot at the woman's feet - It's definitely not just another "men are pigs" book - there are already plenty of those. In fact, a feminist would likely critique this book for telling women to see sex with their husband as a pleasant responsibility in marriage. If it's not pleasant this is probably rooted in a spiritual issue. The book does not try to make women sex slaves in marriage, far from it. But, there are times when sex is treated as a ministry to your husband because he has so much emotion and expressive love tied up in sex, more so than women do. This may not sit well with some women; it will probably sit just fine with most men ;->.

3. Forcing modern openness about sex into the Bible? - Some conservatives might criticize the book for reading 20th century women's sexual liberation back into the Scriptures. There are some very explicit interpretations, especially in the Song of Solomon. Of course, the physical acts weren't invented recently; they may just get more attention now than in ancient times, or, maybe not. At the very least, the motive of the authors seems proper to me. Their interpretation is a corrective to the hyper prudence and stifling of healthy marital sexuality, within the Church, for many centuries. There are some risk-taking interpretations - and I think they have merit to at least be seriously considered. You'll have to read the book and decide for yourself.

For too long Christians have looked to the world for our view of sex. It's time we looked to the One who created it. This book is not fluff or an instant solution and it is frank enough to make many women blush. If you are willing to turn the most personal aspect of your marriage over to God, reading this book is a great place to start. I wish I had read it when my husband and I were first married. It would have saved me years of wrong attitudes and mistaken beliefs. I especially appreciated the scripture to back up every point. The 21 questions in the title are definitately questions that my Christian friends and I have thought about, but didn't know where to go for answers. I can't wait to share this with other women.

I belong to a Bible study that is reading this book. What an amazing time it has been to fully ingest God's word and understand WHY HE created sex in the first place. Our views of sex have gone from to procreate to do it whenever and where ever with whom ever you want. I think that many of us Americans can say we tried that and what did it get us but some mixed up emotions and feeling in some ways used up? Was it all it was cracked up to be? Perhaps it wasn't all it was cracked up to be because we weren't going about it in the way it was planned in the first place. I always thought Christians or God's way would be for prudes....hello? Have you read the Bible? I hadn't. I had no clue. I had no idea that if you follow God's plan for sex in marriage ONLY that it could be so much better. I had no idea that God commands us to have sex almost contantly! We are only to obstain to pray for a short time and then rejoin so as to not be tempted by Satan? Read the book. Be transformed. I think this book or any book on this topic should be a must for any young couple deciding to get married. Heck, it should be earlier introduced to kids that question sex, so that they truly understand what God had planned...and to abstain not to be a prude, but because the best is yet to come. Renew your mind. Change your attitude. Enjoy God's gifts. These are lessons I have had to learn.

This wonderfully written and detail-specific book has transformed not only my sexual relationship with my husband but my image of myself as a Godly woman trying to walk wholly with the Lord. Linda and Lorraine speak frankly about attitudes and relationships, both with my husband and with my God. I did not expect a book on sexuality to have such a deep impact on my spiritual walk but it makes sense for it to have this effect now - it's an area of my life I was trying to work on without the Lord and failing miserably. I'm looking forward to doing this as a group Bible study with other women from my church. Whether you're really struggling with sexual issues or just want to move on to a new level of intimacy with your husband, this book is for you.

but pretty much answered all of my questions! Ladies, have you ever been sitting with your friends, and really want to bring up a topic like this, but just can't find the nerve, for fear that you'll be labeled some kind of immoral nymphomaniac freak? Well I have, plenty of times, and that's why I'm so thankful for this book. It's like having 2 godly best friends to ask your most intimate (and sometimes embarrassing questions) to. Some of the advice surprised me, such as ok-ing the use of vibrators but vetoing pornography, plus giving all the personal anecdotes and biblical references in praise of everything from orgasms to oral sex. This book will help Christian women create the kind of sexual experiences they truly desire within their marriage. Also included is what to do when your sex drive is revved up but your husband's is in low-idle.

What a blessing this book has been to my marriage! My husband and I have struggled with the issues outlined in this book for a LONG time and it was as if God was speaking directly to me. It so totally explained how men feel, what they need, and yes, how they even struggle with the issues of pornography (and how it can wreck a marriage). It also helped me to wipe the slate clean of past sexual issues and partners and start a fresh, new relationship with my husband. It outlined in a gentle, loving, and often humorous way of how we need to set our "self" aside and view our husbands and marriage as a ministry. How our union and our sexual health is blessed by God. To be pleasing in His eyes is to be pleasing to our mate in all ways. Incredible! I have a different view and outlook on our relationship and the feelings I have for my mate are healthy and wonderful! I am thinking of recommending the bible study at my church or between my close friends.

This book is INCREDIBLE! It is thorough and hits on many topics that may actually be the underlying problem in your physical relationship with your husband (examples are: abuse as a child, previous sexual relationships, your husband's involvement in pornography, etc.). You will be challenged to grow as a wife, and view your husband through God's eyes. You will find out what it means to be sensual (I think that was my favorite part).

However, the best part is that you will be utterly bathed in scripture. Obviously, our Pastors cannot preach these issues in detail from the pulpit on Sundays! So, this book privately walks you through God's word and teaches you all that you've missed before. It is well researched, and gives you insight into the original text (for those of us who never took Greek or Hebrew!).

Love your marriage enough to read this book!

This book sounded more promising than it turned out to be. Alone, it has little real value, but if used as a base for conversation (like a women's Bible study or in premarital counseling) it has real merit.

1. The authors say things that need to be said and take a moderate view of sexuality. They are neither prudes nor libertines. I'm in my mid-20s and could feel comfortable talking through the book with a spiritual mentor or my mom.

2. It isn't an idealistic book promising unbridled passion. As a single, I found the discussion of how to work sex, marriage, and family together good, interesting, and realistic. They encourage women to make time for love and sex, to see it as a priority that underpins marriage and as such, enriches the whole family.

3. This is really about boundaries than it is instructional or explicit. Lots of other sources do that, and they mention resources.

4. They went over a lot of personal, inner-life issues that stand in the way of many women having a free, open sex life with their husbands. Sexual abuse, past sexual sins, abortion, body image, etc. are addressed compassionately and clearly. They speak freedom and forgiveness.

The negatives are worth considering...

1. I didn't learn anything, except that when I have kids, it might be a good idea to have a schedule to get the kids out and give us some alone time. They give suggestions for how to do that on a budget.

2. Most of the ideas for keeping the romance there were pretty cheesy. Maybe my generation is bombarded so much with sexuality that I'm inured.

3. This is a really big one for me--the book is duty-oriented. The first time it comes up, it's a nice example. Then it keeps coming. For a women's sex book, this focused a lot more on his needs than I thought was good. I got the message that yes, women are sexual and that's good, but your needs are still second to his because he's using sex to express the emotions he's not capable of saying (since he's a man and all). Carry on in your duty is the answer for a few problems or scenarios that I thought would be better dealt with in a therapy session with a Christian sex therapist (like inability to orgasm).

Would I buy it again or give it to a friend? Yes. If I were giving this to someone, though, I would give it with caveats and suggestions to read some other sex books. If people are looking for instruction and know what they believe already, why not branch out into the secular world on this topic since they write a lot more books on the subject than our side?

I bought this book because as a Christian wife, I had some questions about what is not allowed by God in the marriage relationship. This book is an excellent source for women who are seeking answers to many different questions about sex and marriage. I highly recommend this book to any woman who is looking to improve her overall relationship with her husband.

This book provides an awesome resource for all women, whether you are struggling with issues of intimacy or even if your sexual relationship with your husband is great. The authors give inspiring reasons to keep your sexual relationship with your husband as a lifelong priority and plenty of fun ideas to keep your sexual passion growing. This book includes a powerful study program to help grow in your sexuality as well as find healing from past hurst and mistakes; it makes a very good mentoring or counseling guide. I worked through it personally with a trusted mentor and found that to be the time I have personally grown the most and my marriaged is greatly changed because of it. There are some tough issues and deep hurts addressed here. I really recommend working through the book with someone else because sometimes it seems to difficult to work through these issues without someone else's accountability and encouragement. As other reviewers mentioned, it does not address fertility, and I think that issue is beyond the scope of this one volume and deserves a book of its own to be addressed properly and sensitively.