Intimate Issues: Twenty-One Questions Christian Women Ask About Sex [Paperback]

Linda Dillow (Author), Lorraine Pintus (Author)

Book Description

Release date: January 13, 2009

Intimate Issues answers the twenty-one questions about sex most frequently asked by Christian wives, as determined by a nationwide poll of over one thousand women. Written from the perspective of two mature Christian wives and Bible teachers–women who you’ll come to know as teachers and friends–Intimate Issues is biblical and informative: sometimes humorous, other times practical, but always honest. Through its solid teaching warm testimonials, scriptural insights, and experts’ advise, you’ll find resolution for your questions and fears, surprising insights about God’s perspective on sex, and a variety of practical and creative ideas for enhancing your physical relationship with the husband you love.

With warmth and wisdom, authors Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus speak woman to woman: examining the teachings of Scripture, exposing the lies of the world, and offering real hope that every woman’s marriage relationship can become all it was intended to be in God’s design.


From the Hardcover edition.

Editorial Reviews

Review

“The best-no-holds barred book on the basic questions that Christian women ask about sex. This book will play a large part in healing lives that have been prisoners regarding God’s plan for healthy sexuality.”
–Emilie Barnes, Author

“Intimate Issues may well be destined to become a definitive and defining work in Christian literature. Specific, practical, and scriptural, it may have more potential than any new work I have read in recent years.”
–Frank B. Minirth, M.D., The Minirth Clinic

“This is a mother-to-daughter book, a sister-to-sister gem to be shared. It is also a powerful resource for counselors and teachers, well-documented and deserving of serious attention.”
–Howard and Jeanne Hendricks, Center for Christian Leadership, Dallas Theological Seminary

“A much-needed, biblically-based handbook teaching God’s perspective concerning the wise use of His gift of physical intimacy.”
–Cynthia Heald, author and speaker

“Don’t be afraid of the word ‘sensuous.’ Linda and Lorraine present the union of two people so attractively, excitedly, and sacredly that anything less protected and binding seems cheap, tawdry, and counterfeit.”
–Vonette Zachary Bright, Campus Crusade for Christ

“More than an excellent and well-written book; it is an important book. Intimate Issues gives practical help for every wife who longs to be a better lover to her husband as well as significant help for those who struggle with a painful past or a difficult present in their marriage. We highly recommend this book.”
–Carole and Jack Mayhall, The Navigators

“Finally, a book that honestly addresses the real sexual concerns of women! The result will be marriages that reflect the joy and passion God intended.”
–Mary Ann Mayo, M.A., M.F.C.C., A Woman’s Place Medical Center


From the Hardcover edition.

From the Inside Flap

Intimate Issues answers the twenty-one questions about sex most frequently asked by Christian wives, as determined by a nationwide poll of over one thousand women. Written from the perspective of two mature Christian wives and Bible teachers–women who you'll come to know as teachers and friends–Intimate Issues is biblical and informative: sometimes humorous, other times practical, but always honest. Through its solid teaching warm testimonials, scriptural insights, and experts' advise, you'll find resolution for your questions and fears, surprising insights about God's perspective on sex, and a variety of practical and creative ideas for enhancing your physical relationship with the husband you love.

With warmth and wisdom, authors Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus speak woman to woman: examining the teachings of Scripture, exposing the lies of the world, and offering real hope that every woman's marriage relationship can become all it was intended to be in God's design. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 304 pages
• Publisher: WaterBrook Press; Reprint edition (January 13, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0307444945
• ISBN-13: 978-0307444943
• Product Dimensions: 0.8 x 5.8 x 9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (105 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #72,354 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

156 of 161 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars My wife and I like this book November 30, 2004

By Roy Massie VINE™ VOICE

Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase

Okay, I'm not woman; but my wife is, and we both read and liked this book. Here's our combined review:

Pros:

1. Easy to read - Conversational style of writing and clear points. We each read it in one sitting.

2. Adults only - Sometimes a grown-up discussion is required. This is a book for married women (and men). It is explicit and direct (without being crude) about physical sexual information. It is definitely not appropriate for girls (or boys).

3. Scriptural approach - Instead of just giving motherly advice, the authors take the Bible seriously and frequently use it as a home base to direct their thoughts. Mind you, this is not a Bible study per se'. There is plenty of 21st century, frank counseling advice, but it is blended and based upon Biblical principles. Provides a scriptural index to locate where specific passages are mentioned - useful to Bible teachers.

4. Practical - Lots of ideas for rekindling relationship, romance, plain sex and other aspects of adult relationship. These are ideas you can start this week.

5. Both authors relate from personal experience - Both have personally wrestled with sexual questions and counseled many women. These personal accounts add a human dimension to the principles discussed. This isn't just another "name it and claim it" woman's book. Many personal stories are provided including tough ones where women are still struggling/praying through difficulties. This book explains their stories.

6. Focuses on Song of Solomon - The erotic portions of the Song indicate an expressive, sensuous, even adventurous attitude in romantic sexuality. These authors aren't the first to recognize its racy sections - which has led the church to skate around it in too many cases. It is part of God's word and has a purpose; this book helps illuminate the subject.

7. Good tool for adult couple communication - The frankness and openness from a woman's perspective is valuable to both men and women. This is not just another "men are pigs and need to change" woman's book. Men can learn quite a bit here without being put-off.

8. Emphasizes prayer - Example prayers to help with feelings of sexual inadequacy and temptation.

9. Role of Christian liberty - Scripture sets the boundaries of proper sexuality, don't just rely on Victorian era prudence. There is no compromise if the Scripture forbids certain practices, but there is responsible liberty where Scripture is silent. Provides 3 Biblical questions to ask if you aren't sure whether specific modern sexual practices belong in your marriage, (p203).

10. Men - Accurately describes male sexual needs and psyche - basic, but accurate.

11. Exercise - the physiological benefits for healthy sexuality are briefly explained. Encourages women to take care of, and appreciate, their bodies as they are right now. Don't try to be a supermodel.

Cons/concerns:

1. More insight into males - Needs more insight into male sexuality; men are half the equation. It is a women's book and does mention men have emotion and identity wrapped up in sex, but it does not provide enough examples of how this can affect common male-female relationship problems. The Scriptures showing how David, Joseph (of Genesis) and others handled, and mishandled, sex would be consistent with the books' approach, but are not discussed. Of course there are page limits for writers.

2. Lays a lot at the woman's feet - It's definitely not just another "men are pigs" book - there are already plenty of those. In fact, a feminist would likely critique this book for telling women to see sex with their husband as a pleasant responsibility in marriage. If it's not pleasant this is probably rooted in a spiritual issue. The book does not try to make women sex slaves in marriage, far from it. But, there are times when sex is treated as a ministry to your husband because he has so much emotion and expressive love tied up in sex, more so than women do. This may not sit well with some women; it will probably sit just fine with most men ;->.

3. Forcing modern openness about sex into the Bible? - Some conservatives might criticize the book for reading 20th century women's sexual liberation back into the Scriptures. There are some very explicit interpretations, especially in the Song of Solomon. Of course, the physical acts weren't invented recently; they may just get more attention now than in ancient times, or, maybe not. At the very least, the motive of the authors seems proper to me. Their interpretation is a corrective to the hyper prudence and stifling of healthy marital sexuality, within the Church, for many centuries. There are some risk-taking interpretations - and I think they have merit to at least be seriously considered. You'll have to read the book and decide for yourself.

56 of 58 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars This book has Biblical answers to very private questions. July 15, 1999

By A Customer

Format:Hardcover

For too long Christians have looked to the world for our view of sex. It's time we looked to the One who created it. This book is not fluff or an instant solution and it is frank enough to make many women blush. If you are willing to turn the most personal aspect of your marriage over to God, reading this book is a great place to start. I wish I had read it when my husband and I were first married. It would have saved me years of wrong attitudes and mistaken beliefs. I especially appreciated the scripture to back up every point. The 21 questions in the title are definitately questions that my Christian friends and I have thought about, but didn't know where to go for answers. I can't wait to share this with other women.

34 of 35 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Far beyond surface concerns May 9, 2009

By Jennifer Bogart TOP 1000 REVIEWER

Format:Paperback

Women have questions about sex. Christian women in particular are often uncertain when determining what God's parameters for married love are. It is only right and good to examine each and every aspect of our life with the guidance of the Holy Ghost as we ask God to examine our heart and reveal any areas that may be unpleasing to Him. This task can be daunting when we begin to explore the most intimate areas of our lives. Raised in homes and churches where the subject was largely taboo, or feeling uncomfortable asking questions, many women find determining God's will for their sex life a lonely, awkward road.

Delving into both the mundane and the sacred, co-authors Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus have stepped up to the call, providing women with a guide to discovering God's glorious, joy-filled vision for marital sex. The title seems to imply a work filled with dos, don'ts and suggestions; while all these are present Intimate Issues: Twenty-One Questions Christian Women Ask About Sex digs much deeper into underlying thought patterns, forgiveness, sexual healing and much more.

The authors are ever gentle as they encourage women to seek the scriptures for themselves, to repent and get right with God, to seek Him for healing in the places they've been so deeply wounded. Their heart is well depicted in the cover art, a cup of coffee that symbolizes a warm conversation between friends as they share openly, honestly and respectfully.

I've had the opportunity to read several titles aimed for Christian women on the topic of sex, each seeking to portray the act of love in the positive, life-filled context we find expressed in the word of God. Many of these works provide helpful advice, but never have I read a book that provides such a deep transformation of the mind by drawing upon scripture, prayer and true-life examples. Each chapter is a mini-therapy session in and of itself.

With the section "Change My Heart, O God" additional scripture readings, reflection questions and action points are shared. Chapters exploring sexual pain from the past provide additional spiritual guidance through areas of bondage and limitation. Imagine a beloved and trusted friend praying with you through the pain of past abortions, sexual sin, and memories of abuse; Dillow and Pintus are those friends and their words in print provide much needed loving, grace-filed support. A 12-week Bible study is also included for use singly or in a woman's small group setting, providing additional journaling, prayer and reading opportunities.

While the book's entire emphasis is upon the spiritual and calling on God to renew our minds and hearts in this area, if you have questions regarding the mechanics of love-making, you'll find answers here as well. While not a comprehensive manual, the questions most-asked by women regarding the physical aspects of their intimate relationships are related here as well. A wide variety of common concerns are addressed in clinically accurate language without ever descending into the vulgar and crude. As an aside - I love comprehensive indexes, and Intimate Issues provides both an index of scripture references used throughout the text as well as a topical one, should you need a specific answer immediately.

Sisters, do take note of this work. It delves deeper and provides much more than comparable titles. Though written expressly for women (with the exception of the activities which involve your husband), I found myself sharing new understandings with my husband in joy and delight. I'm adding their work for couples (co-written with their husbands) Intimacy Ignited: Conversations Couple to Couple: Fire Up Your Sex Life with the Song of Solomon to my wish-list. If the quality displayed in Intimate Issues follows through in their work for couples, it too will be a powerful tool for the examination and transformation of marriages and an effective agent of spiritual growth.