Intimate Partners: Patterns in Love and Marriage [Mass Market Paperback]

Maggie Scarf (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: March 12, 1988

The compelling national bestseller that pushes beneath the surface of marriage to explore the depths of true intimacy.
"Anyone involved in, embarking on, or yearning for, an intimate relationship should buy, borrow or steal INTIMATE PARTNERS." New Woman

Editorial Reviews

From the Inside Flap

The compelling national bestseller that pushes beneath the surface of marriage to explore the depths of true intimacy.
"Anyone involved in, embarking on, or yearning for, an intimate relationship should buy, borrow or steal INTIMATE PARTNERS." New Woman

Product Details

• Mass Market Paperback: 480 pages
• Publisher: Ballantine Books (March 12, 1988)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0345350707
• ISBN-13: 978-0345350701
• Product Dimensions: 4.2 x 1.1 x 6.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (8 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #515,087 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #22 in Books > 4-for-3 Books > Health, Mind & Body > Mental Health > Emotions
  • #90 in Books > 4-for-3 Books > Health, Mind & Body > Relationships > Interpersonal Relations

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Covers important territory in why marriages fail & how to save them, October 22, 2005

By 

L. Wilson (Lake County, IL USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Intimate Partners: Patterns in Love and Marriage (Mass Market Paperback)

There are lots of books that address how external events such as illness or the loss of a loved one can affect one's marriage. This book explains in depth how patterns from your partner's family or your family of origin can impact your marriage without your even being aware of them. With the techniques Scarf describes it's possible to bring these to light and break the hold they have on your relationship. Not a really easy read but most definitely worth it. I have a copy but it's never on my bookshelf -- always loaned out!

15 of 18 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Carol Lambe - Career & Personal Development Coach, August 29, 2000

By 

Carol L. Lambe (New Fairfield, CT USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Intimate Partners: Patterns in Love and Marriage (Mass Market Paperback)

I first read this book back in the late 80's - and I have never forgot the lessons I learned from it. I was also reading Harriet Lerner and Melody Beattie at the time and felt that Scarf's writings supported my self-development to understand: 1. Why I continued to attracted relationships that were toxic and unfulfilling, 2. How to recognize the patterns, and then 3. How to not make the same relationship mistakes masked in different people. It definitely made a huge impact on how I viewed my family of origin and it made me look at my own actions and behaviors with new insight. I have referred this book to my clients, as it is an engaging read with the case studies setting up Scarf's insights into the behaviors that transcend our own personal experiences. I highly recommend this book.

14 of 17 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Valuable Insight, March 3, 2000

By A Customer

This review is from: Intimate Partners: Patterns in Love and Marriage (Mass Market Paperback)

MS Scarf writes a captivating, engaging, book using real life (they feel quite real) couples to illustrate many of the relationship dynamics she explains.

The center piece of Intimate Partners is the examination and application of the notion of projective identification. This notion is common in the psychological discussions under different names. MS Scarf introduces the notion clearly. Other notions she uses are family of origin implications and genograms.

The book heavily relies on acceptance of general psychological theories.

This is not an easy read. It is worthwhile, valuable, contimplative and, most of all, useful in the context of daily life. If you are looking for spoonfed, formula solutions go somewhere else.