This work explores the crisis of intimacy in the contemporary West. Interweaving his analysis with case studies, literary examples and major events, Michael Vincent Miller demonstrates how our cultural myths about romance are arrested in adolescence, and how the inevitable disappointments result in bitter struggles between men and women (which the author terms "intimate terrorism"), fuelled by anxiety and resentment. The bonds of love have become so intertwined with the quest for power that we have created what Miller calls "the culture of abuse" - reflecting both an increase in actual abuse but also an overcompensating need to imagine abuse in almost any intimate encounter. Miller concludes with an eloquent plea for a new maturity in our culture that will aid couples in a realistic, if somewhat ironic, redefinition of romance.
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Editorial Reviews
From Publishers Weekly
"Intimate terrorism" is psychotherapist Miller's term for the troubled marriage or loving relationship that degenerates into a two-person civil war, with each partner using threats, emotional blackmail or fears to attack the other's autonomy and security. The "intimate terrorists" we meet here through case histories employ an arsenal of tactics?infidelity, coldness in bed, jealousy, criticism, threatened or actual violence and infantilizing the other person by acting like a parent. Miller, who does couples therapy in Cambridge, Mass., also draws illustrative examples from literature (John Cheever, Willa Cather, F. Scott Fitzgerald, D.H. Lawrence), from movies (Annie Hall, Fatal Attraction) and from much-publicized relationships such as that of Woody Allen-Mia Farrow and its breakup. Calling our culture's ideal of romantic love better suited to adolescents than to the demands of marriage, Miller urges couples to create "breathing space." This is both an intelligent guide for those seeking lasting intimacy and a provocative meditation on the decline of romantic love. Author tour.
Copyright 1995 Reed Business Information, Inc.
Copyright 1995 Reed Business Information, Inc.
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This review is from: Intimate Terrorism: The Deterioration of Erotic Life (Hardcover)
An unbelievable exploration into the subtleties of the consciousness of couples. Buy this book!
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