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5.0 out of 5 stars Intriguing
Talk about an eye opener, everybody should read this book, it has an amazing way of telling you how to communicate whether you are a man or woman.
Published 19 months ago by Zach Hoglund

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3.0 out of 5 stars Didn't get good until the end.
In the first few chapters I felt that this book was geared toward making men look stupid. The author's intent wasn't meant to do this, but you didn't understand that until the last two chapters of the book.
Published 11 months ago by Joseph Hagloch


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3.0 out of 5 stars Didn't get good until the end., September 15, 2013
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This review is from: Invisible Men: Men's Inner Lives and the Consequences of Silence (Hardcover)
In the first few chapters I felt that this book was geared toward making men look stupid. The author's intent wasn't meant to do this, but you didn't understand that until the last two chapters of the book.
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3.0 out of 5 stars Some Good Insights, but Padded, March 27, 2013
A lot of popular nonfiction is padded, and INVISIBLE MEN is no exception. Still, it's a worthy read that offers some good insights.

Like so many people who write about gender and gender roles, Addis goes to the usual extreme of implying very strongly that all differences among the sexes are socially constructed. No doubt that's true to a large extent, but there's no such thing as a human raised without a social structure around him or her. For this reason, any effort to eliminate the reality of socialization with the stroke of a theoretical pen comes across as forced, and that's the case here. Addis focuses a great deal on all the harm that male socialization does to men, but never mentions any of the benefits (and there have to be some - right?). There's also the implication that fathers who try toughen their sons up are hurting them; but Addis might have considered the idea that most fathers know how tough the world is, and they know that you have to be tough so that you don't get eaten alive. But I don't see this reality acknowledged anywhere.

I'm being a little tough on the book, but the author's heart is in the right place, and despite my criticisms, I found myself agreeing with a lot of what he says. He talks about the three types of silence men experience - personal, private, public - and while I found the 3 Ps a little too perfect at first, the more I thought about it, the more I saw the value of thinking in these terms. Addis redefines homophobia as not "fear of homosexuals" but rather "fear of the same (i.e., men)" or "fear of being femmed" - and that's a powerful way of looking at the term. For me, though, the most insightful analysis was the idea of social policing, of male behavior that keeps other men in line with the accepted tenets of masculinity. Since reading this book, I've become hyper-aware of this stuff, and it makes more sense to me every day.

Not a perfect book, and it would have benefited from a bit more nuance, but a good, quick read (sometimes confusing, though, because the structure of a few chapters gets muddled because the author tries to speak simultaneously to men and to women who are in relationships with "silent" and "invisible" men). Oh, and that whole silence and invisibility thing - Silence makes a lot of sense and should have been the title. Invisible is too much of a stretch.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Intriguing, December 30, 2012
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Talk about an eye opener, everybody should read this book, it has an amazing way of telling you how to communicate whether you are a man or woman.
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1 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars AN EYE OPENER, March 21, 2012
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Melissa (Long Island NY) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Invisible Men: Men's Inner Lives and the Consequences of Silence (Hardcover)
I have been working in the medical field as a RN for over 30 yrs and I have taken care of a variety patients with many different personalities and diagnoses . I have found that men have a tendency to hold in their emotions and try to be strong even if they are sad or in pain. Dr. Addis wrote a well researched and informative book that helps us to understand what men are feeling and he provided strategies to help them improve their lives. The book was written not only for the medical profession but for the layperson who needs assistance with their lives or have a friend or family member that may be struggling. I thought that I understood my patients but reading the book gave me a new perspective on the feelings of men and how to deal with their emotions when hospitalized. The author provided case studies and advice that is useful for men, women and couples. The book is entertaining, easy to read and concise.(Reviewed by Eileen- Melissa's Mom)
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1 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A must read for anyone close to a man, December 20, 2011
This review is from: Invisible Men: Men's Inner Lives and the Consequences of Silence (Hardcover)
Dr. Addis has, with the ease of a down-to-earth writer, informed us of a longtime and ever-present challenge...to find ways to help our male loved ones feel comfortable with their emotions. And he has done this with a mere 253 pages of scholarly information presented in a conversational style that includes personal anecdotes. The exercises he offers are easy to understand and carry out. I read a pre-publication copy and plan to read it again for the pure pleasure of it.
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2 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Are you a man? Do you know one? Well then, this should already be on your nightstand., December 27, 2011
This review is from: Invisible Men: Men's Inner Lives and the Consequences of Silence (Hardcover)
Working as a mental health professional for more than sixteen years (twelve of which were spent working exclusively with young men) has afforded me numerous opportunities to read a wide variety of books and articles. I regularly use a copy of Dr. Addis' depression workbook Overcoming Depression One Step at a Time: The New Behavioral Activation Approach to Getting Your Life Back. Because of the quality and ease of use of this book I decided to read "Invisible Men" to learn what Dr. Addis has to say regarding the consequences of men remaining silent, a tremendously overlooked topic. As I had expected, this new book is crisp and intelligent and elegantly written. The information he explores is accessible to the layperson while keeping the interest of the professional and those in the field.

In his book, Dr. Addis convenes a conversation, calling us to attend to the complex problems resulting from the invisibility of men. He adroitly blends the use of research and data with anecdotal and personal experiences to examine cause, effect, and the potential for change. He demonstrates his own vulnerabilities and shares moments from his life where he, himself, has become entangled in the prevailing societal pressure to remain silent and live inside stereotypically male norms.

This book is informative and entertaining, with simple exercises for men, women and couples which are designed to facilitate more authentic human engagement.

Dr. Addis is leading the way in challenging norms and conventional behavior in service to the promotion of the well being of men.
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0 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Mind-expanding, solid read, very accessible, April 9, 2012
This review is from: Invisible Men: Men's Inner Lives and the Consequences of Silence (Hardcover)
This book is fantastic, friendly, and extremely accessible! Addis presents a non-intimidating approach to the topic, and like many great books, each new page is more exciting than the last. I consider myself to be a pretty mindful, caring, and open-hearted young man, but this book has given me a fresh perspective on my approach to sharing emotions and communicating with the people I care about.

If you're even casually interested in this subject, I highly recommend the book "Invisible Men." It's a fun and informative read.
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Invisible Men: Men's Inner Lives and the Consequences of Silence
Invisible Men: Men's Inner Lives and the Consequences of Silence by Michael E. Addis (Hardcover - December 20, 2011)
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