Customer Reviews

Iron John: A Book About Men

5 star:		(64)
4 star:		(18)
3 star:		(5)
2 star:		(12)
1 star:		(8)

 

 

I am fascinated by some of the other reviews for this book. Some criticize it for being too liberal and kowtowing to feminists. Others claim it's reactionary and a threat to women everywhere. Still others say that they hate books about mythology and so they hate this one,too (this is really weird - it would be like me giving, say, a romance novel a bad review because I don't like the genre).

This leads me to the conclusion that, since the book is obviously evoking massive projection and ad hominem attacks, it really does have some incredibly important things to say. Perhaps those on the right are stirred to anger by Bly's impassioned call to restore male depth of emotions. The academic postmodernist/poststructuralist camp, amazingly (and without ever reading the book, obviously)accuses Bly of oppression simply because he states that men are human and suffer, too. This book is still a target of postmodern wrath in universities, but the criticism never focuses on the text but rather on projections surrounding Bly's persona.

The book itself (don't read it if you hate poetry and mythology! )contains a skillful blend of old world folklore and Jungian psychology aimed at restoring male modes of feeling in the world. Men who can descend into their wounds are not so dependent on women for nurturance, and thus are far more eager to see a world of powerful, independent, and connected women and men.

This book has been well summarized and reviewed, but here are a few hints to those considering buying it.

(1) This is not a work of academic sociology. Do not come to Iron John for suggestions about social policy for your dissertation or articles. He does not regard professors as intellectuals, but rather puts them in the same category as businessmen or others trapped on soulless career tracks. Creative people are driven from academe quite early, in grad school, and Bly knows it. (2) This is a suggestive, exploratory, poetic attempt to use myth as a form of guidance for people in their real lives. That is, Bly seems more interested in throwing out powerful images and myths concerning men and men's lives and trying to make sense of them within our context of media-saturated consciousness than he is in traditional academic argument. It's an alternative to academic approaches, not in competition with them, and that is partly what makes it so wonderful: we're free to grasp at what interests us and leave what doesn't. Swimming in the questions is a beautiful thing. (3) Bly was an old 60s activist. If you can't bear the thought of someone not being conservative then don't read Bly. If, like me, you're conservative but not Republican, you'll be fine. (4) Having spent ten years in academe before running, screaming, in the opposite direction, I can tell you that Bly is no kow-towing feminist and no victimologist. Anyone who thinks Bly is too feminist needs to be stranded in a Women's Studies department for an afternoon. Then you'll come to him begging forgiveness. Bly is too careful of the feminists, I agree, but they're after him every step of the way trying to shut him up. He's despised by gender fascists, who see him as an advocate of violence against women. For them, a man is merely a potential rapist, end of discussion, and any attempt to portray them otherwise is seen as a pure wish to attack all women and bring harm to them. As for victimology, Bly is not seeing men as victims, alone, but as people who don't fit the above feminist profile everywhere and all the time. There are sick, brutal men, of course, but Bly wants to help men to see that they can be happier and more fulfilled if they dispense with both the feminist cliches and mass-media stud cliches and try to get in touch with something deeper, something with a lineage back into the furthest reaches of history, and something profoundly important to all men. He's very conservative in this way, as am I, and wants to restore some of the virtues of a strong, responsible, mature man whose strength is not a danger to women. Is that so evil? (5) Bly has mean things to say about New Age, contrary to what people seem to think would be the case. He treats New Age as what it is: floating, indecisive, maleable, pleasantries that never really provide a basis for anything. Bly wants grounding for men in myths and initiations that are robust and strong, and New Age is anything but that. (6) Read Bly with his poetic vocation in mind: poems do not make point-by-point arguments, but rather engage the mind, the senses, the feelings, and leave an impression. That's Iron John all over, and if that leaves you wanting something else, there are Men'Studies departments in the universities who will provide what you want. This is a book for the imagination as well as the mind, and that is why it is very engaging and beautiful.

Reaching my mid-30s, I find myself with questions about manhood and who I am. Remembering an old interview with Robert Bly that I saw some 10 years ago, I decided to pick up his book. Iron John is Bly's interpretation of an old folktale about a "Wild Man" who takes a young boy, and guides him toward a whole manhood. Bly sees in this tale an outline of the pre-Greek (or at least pre-Christian) system of initiation.

Mr. Bly's work was for the most part with Baby Boomers, and this book shows it. He focuses on issues that were important to that generation, such as Vietnam, workaholic/wife-beating fathers, "manic Catholic priests", and Republicanism. As an early post-Boomer, I find that my issues are somewhat different than this. However, Mr. Bly does take aim at many different groups, including New-Agers, and those who are "smoking weed, reading nothing, and being generally groovy."

I must admit that this book did not answer my questions. However, Mr. Bly's poetic look at what men are and can be speaks powerfully to me. This book is a fascinating and touching work, and is something men should find time to read.

In this book, Bly attempts to use the fairy tale of 'Iron John' as a metaphor for the initiation of a boy into a responsible man. Once the initiation is complete, after a series of symbolic adventures, a responsible man emerges. In each section of the book, Bly reveals a piece of the story as a stage in the boy's development, often accompanying the tale with mythological, social, and cultural themes. This book is about men, for men. Bly feels men are in trouble, and tries to explain why. He also attempts to give a definition of what a real man is. A real man is one who has the courage and conviction to fight, but also has the compassion and tenderness to feel. Men in our society seem to be too much on one side or the other. We have too many wild, violent, brutal men with no feeling. We also have too many submissive, weak, 'Yes Dear' type of men... He tries to give reasons for this 'downfall', using important themes such as: 1) Young men without responsible, older men in their lives, 2) The industrial revolution separating father from son 3) The elimination our link to nature as a result of the Industrial Revolution, and 4) How the feminist movement, while absolutely necessary, has had an adverse effect of creating a culture which portrays men as complete idiots.

I found many passages where I felt Bly was right on the money. I had several revelations and epiphanies while reading this book, things I've always known but never realized. Until now. This is great stuff. A very important book, I believe, and could be used for various purposes such as instruction or counseling. Men everywhere could benefit from reading this, in my opinion..

This book will undoubtedly be my first favorite in the subject of masculine mysteries and understanding. There are many books on the subject, but I chose to read this one first because of its apparent popularity. The author has clearly done his homework and has written about it extensively in such a way that it would seem crystal clear to both men and women alike, without offending anyone, about the nature of men. I might add that this book would certainly appeal to men who have a gentler side to their nature, as the author himself has written this book in a style that suggests he is a gentle man. Or should I say, "gentleman"? But also, I can add that sometimes even the not-so-gentle men need an understanding mentor to learn from, and the author Robert Bly is one I would recommend. In fact, for me he would be the perfect candidate for the grandfather figure I never had in my life.

This book is referenced by many web sites I have visited in search of men's groups and the masculist movement, and I can see why. This author does not attempt to lay blame on anyone but instead describe from a historical perspective what has led to today's fashionable beliefs about human nature and political correctness. It is clear, however, that such fashionable beliefs and political correctness are not always correct despite the good intentions they were designed for. Our biology as men and women really does play a significant role in our behaviors; and this author does an excellent job in describing how to bridge the differences through the understanding of differences between the sexes, and through the understanding of oneself as a man. I believe women would enjoy this book as well.

And on a personal note, this author is probably the only one I have ever considered how nice it would be to meet in person. In a way, I have met him, just by reading this book. I will certainly keep this book for future reference.

Ten years ago when I was first told about Iron John, I remember buying the book, scanning a few pages only to put it on the book shelf. I just didn't get it. Nearly 2 years later I picked it up and began reading. Now I couldn't put it down. I suppose my time had come and now everything Bly described was deeply felt.

I suspect some young readers-both male and female won't truly understand the gravity of what Robert Bly is saying. But as is the mark of a truly great work, the reader can go back again and again, gleaning a little more understanding with each reading.

Robert Bly has a firm grasp of Jungian psychology and uses metaphor throughout the book as large brush strokes on a blank canvas. I will go as far to say this is a "must read" for all men over 35. A "should read" for anyone wanting to better understand the male psyche, the events leading to the appearance of what Bly calls the "50s male" and the following retreat into the "soft male" of the 70s and 80s.
The alternitive the author describes can be then a man who has centered himself between these two polar opposites, needing not to act out old macho stereotypes nor carry the wounds of the feminine psyche. I suspect this is a man who has found his own way and a man that women can trust as well.

Robert Bly explores the wild man, the king of the animals, the hairy man, in this expanded exploration of the Grimm's fairy tale of Iron John. Bly makes careful and thoughtful connections between the hairy underwater Iron John and the images of John the Baptist, the wild hairy man of Christiantiy.

One especially helpful aspect of Bly's analysis is that it is through a wound that the male is reborn. Connecting this concept to the birth of Dionysus from the thigh of Zeus, he indicates that all men carry a wound from their boyhood and it is by the passing through this wound on to the other side that the man is initiated and becomes whole in his own masculinity and adulthood. Men are often wounded by their fathers during childhood and thus have deep buried feelings of not being good enough to meet the father's expectations or memories of acting foolishly in front of the father. Bly would say that the story of Iron John is that men must find the hidden wild man within them that guides them through the wound into adulthood. The wild man, the hairy man, Iron John, thus becomes a second father and initiates the young man into the world of adult masculinity. In Bly's conception, men must move beyond the wounded state and must explore the wound and move beyond it to be able to experience the full power of masculinity and adulthood. We have all known men who are the sons of smart, wealthy, talented men and the very brilliance, success, and abilities of the father wounds the son. The son is wounded because he will never be as honest, or as giving, or as respected, or as accomplished, or as wealthy, or as famous as their father. Being the son of a successful man is in itself a wounding process. However Bly would say that to be a boy or male adolscent is to experience the wound, all men become wounded, and those that move beyond it experience a new renewed masculine power.

Bly would say that in our post-industrial society, men remain wounded into their 40's because there is no initiation that gives them the new wild father and allows them to move beyond the wound. I am not sure I agree with this. In fact, I think that the US military often is the initiator of many young men in our society, that they are attracted to the life of the warrior so that they may heal the wound inside by entering a world of wild warriors, some of whom are senior fighting men who act as the second father.

Through the poetic works of Blake and Yeats, Bly connects the reader to the archetypical wild hairy man that is the internal second father and potential adult power. Bly points out the many connections to the wild man, including Hermes, Ulysses, and others.

Why is Iron John under water? He is underwater as a clear symbol that he exists in the unconscious of the male mind. We must dive to reach him, we must go into the dark nourishing waters below to find this wild and frightening giant with his power that he can bestoy on any man who is wiling to move beyond childhood and adolscent shame and feelings of inadequacy and to move toward power, energy, and action. When man talks with the wild man, it is about power and strength.

In exploring the myth of Iron John, the young man must be able to steal the key to Iron John's cage of underneath his mother's pillow. This task is essential and means that the boy must betray his mother to become a fully powerful masculine man. Like Hermes, the trickster, he must use his wits to steal the key and unlock the cage of Iron John. He must also have the courage to confront face to face the giant hairy powerful inner masculine force of Iron John. In primitive societies the men put on animal skins and kidnap the boys to initiate them. In our society, no such rescuing of young males by older males occurs and so boys become rude and hostile and obnoxious to their mothers in anger that the older male or males have not initiated them into the world of men. Our society has produced remote distant fathers and their sons resent it.

This is a thoughtful book for men, integrating the thoughts of Jung and others, so as to present a picture of the male reclaiming his whole masculine power.

Truly one of the best books I have ever read, and I have read many.

Robert Bly is a Poet and the founder of a Man's Movement. In Iron John he brings both elements to bear in a way that will only truly be understood by men.

That's right. I said it. This book requires a man to truly understand it. Women are welcome. I suppose a man can read Cosmo and come away with something too. You may find that sexist. You may find that unfair. Tough. That's the way it is written and for whom it is written. There are some differences between Men and Woman that go beyond nature's plumbing. Society has a tendency to "civilize" men to keep them "safe" and "productive." There's good reason to do this. What is sad is when men are effectively emasculated and no longer able to commune and rejoice in that "Wild Man" Archetype from whence we came. The hunter, protector and leader. "Iron John" to be precise.

Now don't get me wrong. This is not a book to walk away from and remake yourself in the image of an unkempt slob who scratches himself in public. This is not a shallow, "Be a MAN!" kinda read.

I found myself profoundly affected in reading this as a man in his mid 30's (the age I was at the time.) I did not have a particularly close relationship with my father. In fact there were very few men to whom I could be said to have had a close friendship let a lone a mentoring relationship.

Along comes this book and it presents through beautiful and accessible imagery a book that is about me. I found myself relating and understanding things that I long suspected, but didn't know. Robert Bly as it were put his arm around me and showed me through his imagery and modelling, what was missing in me. My identity and celebration of myself as a man. No woman can give that to me, though I love and respect women. My father didn't give it. I am the target of this book. A man who is drifting unable to connect with something essential.

It's not surprising to me that the evaluations of this book are all over the map. If you aren't a male and if you aren't attuned to and needing the message of this book, it probably feels like you are reading someone else's "male" (pun intended)

This book is especially great for men in their so-called "mid-life" crisis trying to come to terms with who they really are. Any man wanting to "find himself" can benefit from the work if they are able to assimilate and personalize what is presented here.

Iron John has no particularly strong religious overtones. If you want a similar book with Christian context try John Eldridge's "Wild at Heart."

I recommend Iron John strongly. I've experienced the message it brings and it is sorely needed in our society by men who have lost touch and connection with what it means to be a man.

This book explained more to me about my husband's behaviors than many counselors. For that matter, it explained TO MY HUSBAND more about his behaviors than many counselors. While it may not provide a solution, it definitely brought us both a greater understanding. The story of Iron John is a great analogy used to support the writer's theories.

A lot of reviews have already been written about this book. Why add another? Well, right now, I'm reading this book for the third time in two years and that has not happened to me with any other book I've read. Even when you feel, as I did, that Bly's style of writing is at times so suggestive that you start wondering if he can fully understand and grasp the meaning of everything he is writing about himself, and even if you agree that the quoted poetry is a bit out of touch with the rest of the text, this book is a real mind-grabber.

Everytime I read it, I am bewitched by its strong images, its powerful, hypnotic rhythm and the beautiful horizon that lies ahead. The book is not very long, but it takes me several weeks to get through it. But that is because as soon as I find myself reading to 'get it over with', I close the book (and my eyes) and put it aside for a while. This "man's stuff" is hard work and you should take your time for it. Take a bath in the book and come out completely refreshed. As I come to think of it, Bly's occasional haziness probably is what makes this book so truly hypnotizing. And if you want to break the spell and get a 'how to' sequel to this book, you can always pick up the beautiful 'King, Warrior, Magician, Lover' by Moore and Gilette. They will put your feet on the ground again - at least until the next time you pick up 'Iron John', that is.

And thus, for contributing this book to a field where valid generalizations are hard to make and, consequently, "facts about men" that every man could agree on are rare, and for writing it even though every sentence could cause all-out war between the sexes (or between Christians, schoolteachers, the Society for the Promotion of Harmless Books and the Military, for that matter), this book -and its author- really deserve each of the five stars.