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Irregular Creatures [Kindle Edition]

Chuck Wendig
4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (56 customer reviews)

Kindle Price: $0.99

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Book Description

Contained within are nine stories featuring bizarre beasties, mythological mutants, and overall “irregular creatures” – including flying cats, mermaids, Bigfoot, giant chickens, and mystic hobo hermaphrodites.

Features 45,000 words of horror, fantasy, science-fiction and humor.

The collection features the following nine tales:


Joe’s got job woes and family problems, and it’s made all the more complicated by a cat who dies on his porch one night – or, so Joe believes. The cat is not only dead, but it appears to be some kind of improbable mutant: a cat with wings. The cat initially complicates Joe’s life as he hides it from his family, but he soon learns that more may be at stake than he realized. Little does he know, a battle for good and evil, between Heaven and Hell, is about to be fought in his garage.


That bartender you really like, well, she just whipped up a potent cocktail called a “Radioactive Monkey.” Would you drink it? (Hint: you shouldn’t.) Jonny Stoops, however, decided to take the plunge. (Hint: it doesn't end well.)


Imagine one morning you wake up and you discover that the world is now home to products you don’t recognize but everyone else does. Flix candy bars? Jack Kenny whiskey? Burrito Hut? Donnie’s never heard of these brands, but those around him say such products are beloved and have been here for years. Donnie’s quest to discover the truth – and prove he’s not nuts – reveals a marketing and advertising scheme not of this dimension.


"Every day, I catch him before he makes it to the China Skillet... I drag him into the alleyway, and I beat him with a tire iron. Sometimes, I stab him with a kitchen knife. I do this every day. I think it's starting to affect me." Every day is the same for the protagonist: get up, drive to work, and on the way there, beat some zombie to death. Next day? Zombie’s back. It would take a toll on one’s sanity, wouldn’t it?


Nolan seeks untold pleasures, but never finds them: not until now, when he becomes swiftly obsessed with Tasanee, a Bangkok dancer at a hole-in-the-wall club. He is driven to pursue her at any cost, but what he finds at the end of his obsession is not pleasure, but pain.


Old age wreaks havoc on the body and mind, and in this flash fiction that has been never more apparent than when a senile old man’s children exhort him to remember the means by which he controlled the giant chicken wreaking havoc back home.


Benjamin’s father shows his son the secret behind his job: he is a buyer and seller of very forbidden things, magical things, objects of a fantastical purview. He takes his son to “The Auction,” a place where anything can be bought and sold: mythological creatures, insane machines, haunted and horrific artifacts. Benjamin is lead astray by a religious man with pious words but sinister intent. When Benjamin encounters a sickly mermaid on the auction block, can the boy step in and avert disaster?


A short story of how father teaches son: Dad teaches the boy that you don’t need to beware of a dog, but you damn well better beware of owner.


Taye and Beau are two characters from two different worlds: the first a boy in the city projects, the second a rich man with a hollow life and an estranged family. But a bizarre figure steps in as catalyst – an inhuman “Rag-Man” appears and draws connections between the two characters that could not have existed before.

Product Details

  • File Size: 261 KB
  • Print Length: 138 pages
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Publisher: Terribleminds; First Kindle Edition edition (January 6, 2011)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B004IARV00
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #187,917 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
4.6 out of 5 stars
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
9 of 9 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Mad genius penmonkey Chuck Wendig strikes again! January 12, 2011
Format:Kindle Edition
Feeling a little post-holiday blues? Housebound by the Snowpocalypse? Well I've got something to occupy your time and cheer you up: Irregular Creatures, the new short story collection from mad genius penmonkey Chuck Wendig. Anyone familiar with Chuck's always inspired, take-no-prisoners style of blogging over at TerribleMinds already knows how talented of a writer he is. I'll do my best to convey the sheer awesomeness that is Irregular Creatures, but it's really something you should do yourself a favor and experience firsthand. Here we go...

"Dog-Man and Cat-Bird (A Flying Cat Story)" - Seems kind of odd to call a short story epic, but this one certainly is. Joe, a struggling sculptor, gets more than a bad night's sleep when he's banished to the sofa one night after an argument with his wife. An injured cat shows up at the back door and, when Joe tries to shoo it away, promptly dies. Or so Joe thought: I came back to the garage, only to find that the cat had sprouted wings. This was not a possibility I had considered, nor was it a possibility I accepted upon its discovery. And yet not only does he come to accept it, but when he discovers his son is a pawn in a battle between good and evil Joe realizes that Cat-Bird is much more than a genetic freak. This is my favorite story in the collection, and it's worth the price of admission for this one alone.

"A Radioactive Monkey" - A cautionary tale about the dangers of drinking strange concoctions, especially if done to impress a beautiful woman you barely know. This one would be right at home as a Tales From the Crypt episode.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Wordmonkey on fire January 12, 2011
Format:Kindle Edition
This is a fantastic collection of short stories. I devoured it as quickly as one can while chasing a two year old around the house. Wendig's blunt delivery is refreshing. It's alternately sad, funny, horrific, weird and just plain awesome. In the immortal words of Yo Gabba Gabba (hey, I have a toddler, this is my life) "Try it, you'll like it."
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Confessions of a Wenbagger January 13, 2011
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I've been a fan of Chuck Wendig for a while now, and last year I was very lucky to not only make a connection with him, but to start calling him a friend. Not a friend in the "hey dude, lend my twenty bucks and don't look at my girl like that" sort of way, more in the "I've got a giant wad of cabbage in my pocket, and it's your fault" way. What does that mean? God only knows. God only knows.

From the very first story, Irregular Creatures grabs you. What you could simply shunt off as a silly premise grips you with strong characters, sharp writing, and amazingly vivid imagery that puts you right in the moment. You aren't simply along for the ride, you are put into the world and Chuck creates and you can feel it live and breathe, and that is a damn sexy thing.

Don't buy this book because it might be good, buy it because you have been good and deserve a treat. You deserve it. Treat yourself right.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
Format:Kindle Edition
Once upon a time I went to a local bookstore and the guy behind the counter asked me what kind of books I liked to read.

I said, "Weird ones, mostly."

He got the strangest look on his face. I'm sure he'd been expecting me to say, Mystery or Horror or some other easily defined genre. At last he said, "Well we've got some Steven King stuff over there."

I'm not sure why "weird" isn't a genre by now. If I was running a book store it would have a section labeled "Weird Stuff," You'd go over there and find books like Three Bags Full, House of Leaves, The Beasts of New York, and the Thursday Next Series. And if you went a further down the row, nestled somewhere between Buddy Holly is Alive and Well on Ganymede and When Graveyards Yawn you'd find a little book by Chuck Wendig called Irregular Creatures.

Reading this book was a strange experience for me. See, when I was a kid we used to go to the creek and swim. I remember dipping my toe into the freezing water, and then my feet, and then my legs. Finally, I'd take the plunge and sink my whole body into the water. After a minute or two I was wondering why I had been so freaked out by a little cold water.

Getting into this book was a lot like getting into that creek. It took me a while to acclimatize to the style of prose Wendig employs to deliver his stories. At first it struck me as overly simplistic and far too direct. But gradually as that first story slowly unfolded I began to understand. From that point on there was no turning back. I plowed forward through each increasingly weird tale and loved every minute of it.

There are books that you will read for the sheer beauty of the sentences, the perfect poetry of the prose. This isn't one of those books.
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7 of 9 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Beware the Power of the Wendigo January 11, 2011
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
There are two kinds of people in the world.

1) There are people which own copies of Irregular Creatures.

2) There are people with which I will not truck.

I'm not going to say Irregular Creatures is the greatest thing ever. To be completely fair though, I can't use my general "did Bruce Campbell do it" benchmark for everything, particularly things Bruce Campbell hasn't done (no short story collections, alas). So, barring Bruce Campbell's interference, it's the best little short story collection three bucks can buy. Why? Good damned question. Because it's a little bit of everything, in a tiny package. You don't need to spend all night reading in order to get a little bit of comedy, a little bit of horror, a little bit of everything. I don't know about you, but my time is valuable. When an author has the audacity to make ME pay for MY time spent, it'd better be worth it. Chuck Wendig is one of the world's authors which I do not believe should be paying me for the privilege of reading their books.

Why is the review only four stars? Well... Because my review is admittedly a tad hyperbolic. But have you ever read an Amazon review? I'm just playing to the curve. In all seriousness, it's great stuff. Even if you're not a fan of delicious flavor, you're only out three bucks. From last I heard, there are about thirty million active Amazon users. So, tomorrow, I expect to see at least twenty seven million sales for Irregular Creatures. I'm willing to embrace that ten percent of the buying public are in fact lame.

Buy it.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Wendig writes with intelligent wit, dark humor
A variety of well-written and intriguing short stories. Wendig writes with intelligent wit, dark humor, and general weirdness - right up my alley.
Published 2 months ago by NerdyBirdy
5.0 out of 5 stars Bizarre yet fascinating
I do like reading bizarre stories and this book just fits in. there are I think 9 stories in here and so far the ones I read was enjoyable, I do like that the writer has a way of... Read more
Published 7 months ago by Shaunte Calloway
4.0 out of 5 stars Delightfully irreverent
Just as delightfully irreverent and kind of whacked out as you might expect if you're familiar with Chuck Wendig's blog. Read more
Published 7 months ago by Jessica N. Cline
5.0 out of 5 stars All hail the mighty Wendigo, creature of the 12th dimension!
Great Book! Especially loved the first one and The Auction. Chuck's writing is an outstanding mashup of the Twilight Zone, Tales From the Crypt, Tales from the Hood, whiskey,... Read more
Published 8 months ago by Kent A Bridgeman
4.0 out of 5 stars Uneven collection but worth buying
First off, I love the cover, it's cute, impish, and reminds me of the book cover art of the early/mid 1900s. Read more
Published 15 months ago by Lee N
5.0 out of 5 stars Unusual and Intriguing stories
These stories sucked me in from the first one. Unusual, paranormal twists on every day activities. Easy to read, a good choice, and at this price you can't go wrong.
Published 15 months ago by Winston-Salem
2.0 out of 5 stars dont bother
this book was strange but not in a good way. not what i expected and i like strange if it is well done
Published 17 months ago by Leslie P
5.0 out of 5 stars The title says it, they certainly are!
A nicely weird collection of Wendig short stories. I've now read some of his novels. If you like to have your brainmeats challenged, this is your author.
Published 18 months ago by T. Jones
4.0 out of 5 stars Perfectly named
The short stories in this collection are, indeed, irregular. Reality is tweaked, twisted and sometimes turned upside down over the course of the nine stories, leaving me not quite... Read more
Published 18 months ago by T. Finley
5.0 out of 5 stars My Introduction to Chuck Wendig - Pleasantly Surprised!
A link on a website about creative writing led me to Chuck Wendig's blog, Terrible Minds. I liked his style, and especially liked the writing tips he posted. Read more
Published 18 months ago by Chris
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More About the Author


Chuck Wendig is a novelist, screenwriter and game designer. He's the author of many published novels, including but not limited to: Blackbirds, The Blue Blazes, and the YA Heartland series. He is co-writer of the short film Pandemic and the Emmy-nominated digital narrative Collapsus. Wendig has contributed over two million words to the game industry. He is also well known for his profane-yet-practical advice to writers, which he dispenses at his blog,, and through several popular e-books, including The Kick-Ass Writer, published by Writers Digest. He currently lives in the forests of Pennsyltucky with wife, tiny human, and red dog.

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