Customer Reviews

The Irritable Male Syndrome: Understanding and Managing the 4 Key Causes of Depression and Aggression

5 star:		(8)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

This is one of the few books of this nature where I have read every single page. It describes my husband to a T-for-testoterone. While my husband insists that there is nothing wrong with him, and the rest of the world is against him, I have been able to encourage some of the diet changes: a multi-vitamin (for zinc and B-vitamins), and cutting back on artificial sweetener.

When I sent an e-mail to the author, I did get back a thoughtful referral, although the referrals are to expensive places that are out of state. But it's helpful to have this book, because I can cite it to health and mental health care professionals, "see, what he does is on page 42, and 43, and 44 ..."

I agree that it does go on and on before getting to the helpful information in the back third of the book. My guess is the publisher wanted to get it up to a certain page count. I get the picture with one or two examples, but I would rather have more information, than less information. So this is not a major detraction, and the book was VERY helpful in articulating what I see to be true.

Now if I can only figure out how to get my husband to agree to get help. I am not ready to issue a divorce ultimatum, but if the angry blowups continue, what else can I do? At least I'll have some informed suggestions to make when the time comes.

AARP Bulletin tipped me off to this book. What an eye-opener! The author, a psychotherapist, observed that 80% of his patients in the 40 to 55 year range suffered from this irritability. He attributes it mostly to hormone changes, but also to their stage in life/career/etc.
He recommends that both partners learn to focus on the other's needs rather than on who's right and who's wrong.

Yes, you heard me. It's HIM! NOT you! (So go ahead you angry men with IMS, flame away.) WOMEN - Quit blaming yourself. That is a woman's nature. To look inside ourselve to fix another's flaws. To listen while another beats us down verbally and criticizes and eventually believe it and attempt to find solutions for problems that are not our own. Let me explain my situation.

Everything changed between my sweet husband and I about a year ago. He became argumentative, irritable, moody, aggressive...and all of this AT A DROP OF A HAT! And to top things off, according to him, I was to blame. I began seeing a therapist believing that yes, maybe I was, maybe I was the cause of his stress, his mood swings, his irritable, this general hostility that I felt every time I was around him.

Then one day I was speaking my sister who mentioned this book and how she was convinced her fiancé had "Irritable Male Syndrome" a sort of male equivalent to PMS and I had to laugh...until I bought the book for myself; and it read it one evening with tears streaming down my face. It made sense, it's so obviously hormonal. Women recognize this in each other and in ourselves, but not our men.

This book has saved my sanity and may save yours. Ladies, if the husband you once had a loving, warm, open relationship with now treats you with utter hostility and constantly tells you he is the way he is because you don't do this or you don't do that or because you nag or you're a b!tch, even though deep down you know this is not the case, get this book. It will make you realize that you alone are not in this problem. It will help you understand the changes your man is undergoing and how you can help him help himself.

This book has effected the way I think about men, women, relationships, myself, and the people close to me. Jed Diamond has incorportated medical and psychological research, the experiences of his patients (male and female), and his own experiences as therapist and husband into an insightful book that is not only informative, but hopeful and humorous at times.

This book is written directly for men, but continually allows for the reader as a woman who is involved with a man that may be suffering from Irritable Male Syndrome. Several questionnaires included in the book are helpful with identification of Irritable Male Syndrome and depression, and the author covers physical, psychological, and societal causes. I particularly liked his take on changing gender roles and masculine identity.

I was a little disappointed in the organization of the book in that all of the information about what to do to help yourself (if you're a man) or help your partner (if you're a woman) is in the third and last section of the book. I would have preferred helpful information along the way according to the cases and ideas he presents. All in all, a great find!

I read this book when it was a manuscript, at Jed's request, and gave him this feedback back then.

This is a book which takes the relationship friction which often occurs between men and women in long term relationship, and recasts it as entirely the fault of the male. The woman is entirely and specifically exonerated, in detail and at length. No wonder women love this book. And no wonder many men, most of whom support feminist analysis after all, which does a similar all-fault-is-male interpretation of male-female dynamics, support it as well. No doubt this approach sells a lot of books, but it has little to do with getting to the bottom of real male-female relationship issues, which tend to be about both parties. Rather, it is about making men guilty and women innocent, and dressing that up in respectable psychological and medical jargon. That plays into the preferred gender dynamic of our time, it offers a way to avoid dealing with real issues, and instead settle into a stable pattern of female moral superiority and male inferiority.

There may be such a condition as "Irritable Male Syndrome" - that's possible. But Jed makes no significant effort in this book to separate out such a condition from the basic relationship dynamics, which are frequently a tension between different values and points of view. Whitewashing female displeasure with men as pointing directly at male problems, without suggesting that there might be a larger, more mutual dynamic in play, does not do either gender a service.

I imagine that Jed is sincere in his belief in this "syndrome", and I am not saying that men are never depressed, angry or irritable. It is important, however, that a more balanced view of this situation be available somewhere, and that the error of one-sided descriptions of responsibility for relationship difficulties be pointed out, which is why I have written this review. I am sorry, Jed, to have to publish this, I don't like writing public criticism, I waited a lot of years before doing so in the hope that you would ameliorate your stance, but it is time to speak plainly.

As a man who is just approaching middle age; and as a person who has dealt with depression and anger issues; I found this book to be very enlightening. The volume was well-written and well-researched. The literature review was so compelling that there are several books that the author mentions that I would like to read for myself.

Moreover, the author (who has dealt with his own male aggression issues) really shares his heart with you.

Whether you call it Irritable Male Syndrome or male menopause or andropause, or what have you; there is a certain something that happens to men as they reach middle age. As the author describes it; this state of anxiety and rage can be traced to psychological, hormonal, societal, cultural and even genetic influences.

I think that anyone who is interested in men's health should read this book. The author provides solutions to male irritability that touch upon physical, mental and spiritual health.

Does irritable male syndrome (IMS) really exist? This is a question that Diamond tackles early on in this excellent book. After reading the book cover-to-cover, I think the jury is still out. IMS may be a separate entity but it could also be a constellation of symptoms resulting from depression, fluctuations in stress, etc. Even so, it doesn't matter. Any way you slice it, this book gives us a vivid picture of the of male irritability and how this affects middle aged men.

It is more than humbling to read a book and find yourself described so well on so many of the pages. How does Jed Diamond know me? Am I on candid camera? Are my phones tapped? No. He is simply an astute therapist with a keen eye and a great deal of experience. All this comes through in the book as he explores the physiological, psychological, and social reasons for irritability in men. Beyond simply understanding what is going on, he gives suggestions and points men in the direction of resources to help men rise above their irritability and once again enjoy life.

The book is written in a colloquial style, with the author sharing some of his patients' experiences and even his own. It is not specifically meant to be a book for scholars in this area, but is extensively referenced such that you can review the source material. I found the book to be incredibly helpful and I found the case studies illustrated problems vividly and kept the book from being dry and boring.

There are some caveats here, however. The book describes changes that occur in men but quite obviously cannot account for every man's unique environment. Diamond may be telling us that men need to closely examine their lives within the context of their own physiolgoical and psychological changes, but it is not as though men got the 'defective model.' Women, too, have to cope with their unique subset of changes throughout life. How these two worlds collide is beyond the scope of this book. Moreover, every individual has to apply this knowledge based what occurs in their own life.

Also, Diamond exclusively examines IMS within the context of traditional male-female relationships. He does not examine the effects of IMS on homosexual relationships or more non-traditional family arrangements. This is not a deficit for those of us in traditional, monogamous, male-female relationships but limits the scope of the book somewhat for those who don't fit into such rigid categories.

This is a book that you will read, reread, and keep on your bookshelf for future reference. It is both inspiring, potentially life changing, and something you will want to keep and refer back to time and time again.

Mad at the world?,don't enjoy life? This book explains some of the things that MEN face as they age. Depression and anger seep into our lives as we age, some of this is due to hormonal changes in our bodies. Yes, MALE MENOPAUSE! A good read for those concerned or affected.

This was an eye opening book for me. It really helped to explain things I was doing and feeling without ever realizing it. It's a must read.

This is informative, full of facts and examples, but tends to run in circles and is too lengthy. Finishing the book helped me understand my emotions like the South Beach Diet helped me understand my appetite.