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Is He Mr. Right?: Everything You Need to Know Before You Commit Hardcover – May 23, 2006

37 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

Review

“An extremely helpful and insightful guide for avoiding a lot of relationship pitfalls written in a very accessible, conversational style.” —Susan Forward, author of Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them

“Full of simple ways of checking in about the newest guy, Is He Mr. Right? speaks to every woman who is struggling with relationships . . . Kirshenbaum walks the reader step-by-step through understanding themselves and decision-making processes about such an important area of life. . . . Read this book and it’ll be a lot easier to figure out if he is Mr. Right. And every woman out there deserves to find Mr. Right.” —Dr. Dorothy Firman, coauthor with her mother, Julie Firman, of Daughters and Mothers: Making It Work and the New York Times bestselling Chicken Soup for the Mother and Daughter Soul

“Explains in a highly entertaining way what creates the essential chemistry in a healthy relationship. A valuable read, indeed.” —Susan Jeffers, Ph.D., author of The Feel the Fear Guide to Lasting Love and Life Is Huge!

“A very wise, very practical, and very accessible book to help people find the love and relationship they want and need. This book will really help women who are at important decision-making crossroads about their relationship.” —Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., author of Finding Your Perfect Match

About the Author

Mira Kirshenbaum is clinical director of the Chestnut Hill Institute in Boston and has an international reputation as an award-winning, bestselling authority on relationships. She is the author of nine previous books, including the influential Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay; Parent-Teen Breakthrough; Everything Happens for a Reason; and The Weekend Marriage. She has appeared on 20/20, Today, and CBS Early Show, and has been featured as an expert in O, Cosmopolitan, Vogue, Glamour, and Good Housekeeping. Visit her at mirakirshenbaum.com.
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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Crown Archetype (May 23, 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0307336735
  • ISBN-13: 978-0307336736
  • Product Dimensions: 5.8 x 1 x 8.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (37 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #67,317 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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More About the Author

Mira Kirshenbaum is clinical director of the Chestnut Hill Institute, a center for therapy and research in Boston, and has been treating patients in individual and couples therapy for more than thirty years. She is the author of ten other books, including Our Love is Too Good, To Feel So Bad, Everything Happens for a Reason, and When Good People Have Affairs.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

26 of 27 people found the following review helpful By Kerry on June 5, 2006
Format: Hardcover
This book is so brilliant, so accurate and so "point on" it should be required reading for every woman on the planet. I wish this book had been available years ago!! I can't say enough good things about it - if you are a human breathing air, you need to read this book. After leaving a long term relationship I've recently begun dating again, and this book has given me newfound clarity, knowledge and strength. It also already saved me from getting entangled with someone who was clearly "not over the ex" but with whom I connected.... Thanks to Mira's book and her 5 elements of chemistry, I was able to easily see my way out of that situation.

PLEASE, buy this book for yourself, for your friends, for your sisters, aunts, daughters, etc. It is truly a life saver, and truly a heart saver.
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20 of 20 people found the following review helpful By Ms. Margaret-ann Coleman on December 31, 2006
Format: Hardcover
I can see now why I've had so many problems in all my past relationships - I didn't know what ingredients made for a good, long-lasting relationship.

I pondered this question in my teens and married my first husband based on compatibility. But we didn't have chemistry.

Very importantly, I've been relieved of another myth that "chemistry is the physical/sexual attraction" and that it is all you need. I've had that fantastic sexual chemistry but the safety dimension of chemistry was missing and the relationship didn't survive.

Equally as important, I've been relieved of another myth, "that there is just one person out there for each of us". Because we can have chemistry with many potential partners, the hope that I will meet someone who is right for me has been rekindled.

I wish I had this information at the start of my dating and I would have done things differently!

I want to thank Mira for writing this book and sharing her knowledge of what ingredients make a healthy loving relationship with the rest of us. Her work is a true gift on the planet.

Thank you.

Margaret-Ann, Melbourne.
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19 of 19 people found the following review helpful By C.Q.T.Q on October 26, 2006
Format: Hardcover
I read her other book, "Too good to Leave..." first and I was a little confused. It was more for married situations, but this one really hit the spot. It made me realize I shouldn't settle. Very easy to read and at times comical. If you are going from relationship to relationship or can't figure out what to do about the one you're in... this book will help.
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18 of 18 people found the following review helpful By Jeff from Denver on July 9, 2007
Format: Hardcover
Okay, I'm a straight guy and I don't usually read self-help books. But my sister told me I gotta read this cause, let's face it, my relationships haven't worked out and now I'm getting serious about this woman. My sister just didn't want me to make another mistake. And I'm like, hey, I'm not looking for Mr. Right. She said, stupid, just change the genders -- it works just as well the other way. I have to say the book was amazing. Touched on every area I had concerns about -- like was she an OK person, and was our chemistry good, and was it real or fake. Kirshenbaum is so solid and smart and down to earth. If your a guy looking for Ms. right and you're afraid of getting burned, you've got to get your hands on this book. It's a lot cheaper and a lot more fun than ultimately getting divorced.
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16 of 16 people found the following review helpful By KA on January 24, 2007
Format: Hardcover
Here's the short of it. I know a lot guys who could benefit from this book. A couple of years ago I got involved with the wrong guy. A guy who was partnered. Well needless to say I learned many lessons. My self-respect was clearly absent during this time but the humiliation did me a lot of good. I slowly made my way back to the dating world. I had been pinballing from guy to guy over the last 7-8 years when my first serious relationship ended after 6 years. One of the things I noticed was that all the other guys I dated these last handful of years, I didn't really feel anything for them but they felt something for me. I thought I could make up the difference. Well let me tell you something, you can't. In my 1st relationship I definitely felt something and we had a good run and parted amicably but all these other guys, I really didn't feel enough of anything and they were great guys! I think part of what was going on was that I needed to...grow up. I have learned the hard way NOT to enter into a relationship that is based on fear. I wasn't being very selective and I have learned that I really should be selective. I can be picky but not choosy. Takes more time than you think but I feel now I am on my own journey and I am finally having fun.

And lo and behold, I find this book. I thought it would be a light read but man it was far better than I thought it would be. All the mistakes she points that people make like not paying attention to chemistry, I have made a lot of them. It was refreshing to see in print what I had arrived at these last couple of years. If anything, this book cements my resolve to base any future relationship I have on nothing but proactive self-respect and love. I am so very glad that I am single in my late 30's and finally at east with it.
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14 of 14 people found the following review helpful By Charlie-Ann on December 15, 2006
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
For those of us a little confused about whether we're with Mr. Right, this is a good practical guide to all the things you should look for. In fact, reading it, I immediately realized I should break up with my boyfriend. The big realization is this: if you have to read a book to decide whether to say yes, then you probably should ditch the relationship. Okay, so that has nothing to do with the book's content, still, some people are just so blinded by love or the promise of a fairy tale that a little reality check is in order.

I recommended the book to my sister... hoping it would shed light for her as well. [update: she broke up with her boyfriend, but no thanks to the book]

The author outlines basic check list of "must haves" in your man and gives evidence that the check list is valid.

Some may think the list is a bit over simplified, but having put it into some use, I can say that it's probably right on the mark. There are so many factors to every relationship, and it's all open for interpretation... but fundamentally, there are only a few things that are truly important. The study of long lasting relationships gives us the common denominator.

The book is a fun read. So the worst case scenerio is that it doesn't work and you have some fuel for a bonfire.
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