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on October 1, 2011
This book was a really good read and at some parts I couldn't put it down. The author did his homework with frank literary investigation and useful stats to back his claim. This book was truly a eyeopener and would be a great book for black women and men who have yet to delve into this subject matter. Although, I loved the book and think it is a starter piece for black women looking to date out, if you are a avid reader in this subject like I am it can be a bit of a rehash of words and encouragement stressed in books similar to the subject matter. Here are my pro's and cons.

Pros: A great book with stats to back up the author claim's some BWE(Black Women Empowerment) books and blogs provide here-say and "It has happen to me and a few of my friends, claims" but only a few back it up with thoughtful analysis and long tested statistics. The book has an in depth bibliography and work cite descriptions to back his statements as facts instead of a well thought out hypothesis, numbers don't often lie. The great thing is this book is from a black man, finally and not a black woman which only proves that it is time for Sister's to be open to more options.

Although, there are a few one star's(Who I doubt really read the book all the way through if at all) reviews that report he is only telling black women to date white men this can be further from the truth. He is telling black women that are willing to go against the grain to date not only white men but Latino, Asian, Multi-Cultural, etc. and yes Black men that are equally compatible to you and not just date a man that is black because you are black. He stated it with not only claims but facts(Multiple accounts of the effects of a low income spouse with their high income spouses and unfortunately one account of abuse and the devastating outcome) of what occur when women of all races date men that aren't compatible to you and how it not only affects the women but also the men and even more the children they produce. Marriage based on compatibility of personalities, life experience and expectations is a must.

Cons: There are more then enough BWE books(One great one for only $5 bucks for Kindle),blogs and groups that tell black women to date out so I don't think he should have stressed this fact so often. It almost felt like there should have been a title change in the book "Is Marriage for White People?: How the African American Marriage Decline Affects Black Women and Their Children." instead of the title that was presented.

I read the book waiting for some focus on why some upscale highly educated upper middle class black men that choose not to play the field marry white or other non-black women. This was addressed so lightly in the book that it was almost like it wasn't addressed at all but I believe this subject matter needs to be addressed esp. by a author of this caliber hopefully if your reading this please make another book addressing this matter. I have read one book "Hung" out of many that addressed this matter sincerely but lightly but it has still not been touched in a frank non-bias well-written statistical way. Although, I and others have ideas of why this occurs it would be reassuring to have stat's and analyzed theories to back up the claims instead of hear-say and put whitefronts(brothers/sisters that pose as white men),PBs(political brother/sisters that pose as keeping it real brothers who are really racist), Sultans(Black men that don't want black women to date out because this would decrease their harem of readily available black women) and other negative misogynist people to rest with facts that have little to do with just attraction between bm/ww and more to do with other matters as well(The joke about the two black men and one old white woman and young white woman was just hitting it mildly).

Book was too short and I was shocked to see that I had finished the book when my kindle was only at 50%. Most of the book was filled with bibliography,sources and acknowledgement's. I think if the subject above would have been addressed it would have been longer.

All in all great read and still deserves five stars for it's professionalism and well written analysis.
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on September 8, 2011
This is an excellent read. Highly recommended...The Author is clearly stating what Black Women Empowerment blogs have been stating for years,from a man's point of view!. I support this book 100 percent.
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on February 21, 2013
I started dating and found this book because as a successful engineer I Manhattan (Male) and was not even thinking of Marraige until I read this book and realized from the Brilliance of its material that there is no reason to not to completely have a full life with one person who I trust for all the right reasons.
The author is extremely insightful and very technical with his data as a back up all statements
I recommend anyone who even has marriage on his or hers inner thoughts who is African American should read this book.
I proposed to my wife One year after reading this powerful Book
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on August 25, 2013
This was a good, quick read, it touched on things that (I hope) many of Black-American women are aware of. I thought it funny and not surprising that the majority of the quotes from women in the book were from Black women that reside in Atlanta; great for job opportunities in some sectors, however, quickly becoming if not already crowned the black gay capitol of this country. What I disliked about this book is that there are little to no perspectives on marriage from Black men (the author explains why); that to me alone speaks volumes. All in all, the book begs the question, when will Black American relationships and marriages begin to stabilize and stay that way? I believe that both men and women should read this book, maybe it will open up channels for discussion.
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on September 26, 2011
Clearly the title for this book was intended to be provocative and immediately attract attention. Don't let the title fool you. This book is about the decline of black marriage, the reasons why and how it affects black women. The overall message is that black men aren't able to match black women's success in educational achievement and marriage. There are too many successful black women for too few black men on the same level which creates an unfair balance of power in favor of black men. The author, Ralph Richard Banks' solution is that black women need to start dating/marrying interracially. Not considering just white men, but Asian, Hispanic and Middle Eastern too. Banks theorizes if more black women marry interracially, it would prompt black men to get their act together because they'd know the heavy surplus of educated, successful black women would not be so readily available to them.

Whether you agree or disagree with Banks' message, you cannot dispute the facts he uses. Roughly the first half of his book is full of studies and statistics on the bleak situation of successful, education black women who seem to have it all except for a life partner. Banks paints a sad yet true picture of black women who engage in relationships with black men knowing they are involved in multiple relationships. This translates to the high rates of STD infections, unplanned pregnancies, abortions and low marriage rates we've all heard about.

While there are decent black men out there, I will agree black women need to consider interracial dating/marriage more. I recommend black women of all ages to read this book.
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on August 17, 2012
I was very much interested in this book after he had debuted. The debate has gone on for years. Now to have some statistics and results from interviews to confirm much of what was suspected was refreshing from Ralph Richard Banks. I'm sure that it has stimulated much discussion, particularly amongst black single successful, professional women who are "seeking," and just your everyday young lady who, too is "seeking". (It's hard for me to imagine what it would be like "seeking" after 30+ years of marriage). Mr. Banks lays out the facts, statistics and interviews and ultimately comes to the conclusion/question for black females to consider, basically,"why not jump ship?" AND do something positive for the black community in the process? He sums it up this way, " If more Black women married non Black men, more Black men and women might marry each other. If Black women don't marry because too few options, and some Black men because they have too many, then Black women by opening themselves to interracial marriage could address both problems at once."

All done and said, however, YOU, Black woman/women must be happy and at peace with yourself and the choices you've made!
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on November 1, 2011
Finally! No more anecdotes, he saids/she saids, or solo testimonies. IMFWP brings together research data that explode the complex issues that drive "why can't successful women find a black man." The fact is, unfortunately, black women in general are coming up short in finding compatible, "good" black men for them to date and ultimately marry.

I appreciate the academic approach that Banks takes. The book's bibliography is extensive and the chapters are well-footnoted. Hearing the individual and composite experiences of black women through their interview excerpts help enliven the raw data that paints a very bleak picture for black relationships, black marriage, and the black family. As a black man myself, some of the material is distasteful not for its presentation, but more so because the "truth" about what is happening in, and by, the black community as it relates to fidelity, trust, and child-rearing is just difficult to digest.

This being said, I think this is an excellent book--one that I could potentially have given five stars had Banks not ended the book so abruptly and with such a surprisingly short, if not rudimentary, singular recommendation on how to address the wide variety of interrelated issues he highlights. I feel like the book is long on problems and short on solutions. While potentially out of Banks' intended scope, he missed a critical opportunity to delve deeply into an action plan that readers could embrace to encourage black women who've despaired over ever finding a good man and prod black men into becoming better men.

This might make a good read for a same-sex bookclub.
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on November 14, 2012
This book is choc full of information that people (esp. Blacks) knew suspected but could never find data to support it. Well, the author did his research and supported the heck out of it.

Pick this book up for something that many people don't get much of a chance to learn about...The plight of Black love.
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on January 18, 2013
If you're a 30+ black woman still wondering why you're not married, this book will answer that question for you from a black male perspective. A page turner for sure. So step back, take in the concepts with a deep breath and make self improvements with the help of this eye opener.
A good male read also, wouldn't rule it out for any American of today!
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on October 8, 2012
Great read! Truth telling about relatationships within the black community.A must read for anyone struggling with understanding why things are the way they are. It truly opened my mind and allowed me to look at this situation in a whole new light. Black women need to explore other available options and stop settling for the status quo.
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