It's All About Him: How to Identify and Avoid the Narcissist Male [Paperback]

Lisa E. Scott (Author), Cedar Fort (Editor), Inc. (Editor)

Book Description

Publication Date: February 10, 2009

Ever wonder why your guy can t seem to understand you? Does he just seem incapable of empathizing with you? Well, when your guy is a narcissist, it has nothing to do with you. That s because it s all about him. This engaging collection of personal anecdotes, combined with current scientific research, examines the typical traits of pathological narcissism. Clear examples from her own experiences help Lisa Scott explain why you fall for him, why he does what he does, and how to move on if you ve been hurt. Prevent the heartache that comes from falling in love with a narcissist before you or someone you care about gets hurt.

Product Details

• Paperback: 96 pages
• Publisher: Cedar Fort, Inc.; 1 edition (February 10, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1599552183
• ISBN-13: 978-1599552187
• Product Dimensions: 8.6 x 6 x 0.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (29 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #245,730 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful

2.0 out of 5 stars NOT what the title promises November 30, 2010

By Zee Jae

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

I think this is a good effort and I applaud the author for sharing her story. However, the subtitle of the book: "How to identify and avoid the Narcissist Male BEFORE YOU GET HURT" is entirely misleading. As author Lisa Scott confirms, Narcissists are excellent actors, and very compasionate and charming at the beginning of the relationship. They can even keep this up for months or even a year or so until you are "hooked". It was not until Lisa was ALREADY IN COMMITTED relationships with these two men that she admittedly realized they were narcissists and eventually left. She notes that the usual red flags--of a man appearing openly selfish, etc. are not there with narcissists, in the beginning. I was hoping this book would do what the cover promised: Give signs you can look for, or things you can do to unearth narccisstic personality disorder before you become truely, exclusively involved with someone. It doesn't.

In the section called "Why you fall for him" she only says it happens because they seem so compassionate and caring and you are seduced by him" then she goes on to also blame the increasingly narcissistic US culture. This is fluff. Not all women fall for narcissistic men. Those of us who do need to understand what it is in ourselves that attract us to them, and it goes both ways, what is it that attracts them specifically to US? Dysfunction attracts Dysfunction. Even though the authors admits she is not a psychotherapist, to gloss over why we fall for narcissists simply by saying they are charming--is to do a disservice to women who are truely trying to do what the cover says--AVOID BEFORE YOU GET HURT.

Basically this book clumsily pieces together information about narcissists which you can find anywhere on the web, with vignets about the author's own two relationship. Most disappointingly, she gives hardly a hint about, looking back, what SPECIFIC things she could/should have noticed that would have saved her before she was committed to either of these guys.

If you are looking for specific information on identifying and avoiding narcissitic men BEFORE YOU GET HURT, this book will NOT give that to you. But if you are IN a relationship with a man you suspect of being a narcisst, this book will provide you some insight.
VERY DISAPPOINTING AND I WISH I COULD GET MY MONEY BACK AS THE COVER IS FALSE ADVERTISING.

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful

2.0 out of 5 stars Its All About Him September 28, 2010

By mawh56

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

Truly wasn't what I expected. Seemed to be more of just story telling/autobiography than an actual self help book. Some of the information along with the Author's telling of her personal relationship experience helped me relate and recall how my Narcissistic ex-lover acted and treated me. But, from the description of the book I thought I was purchasing a Self Help book that was going to help me from future relationships with Narcissists. And that wasn't the case. I returned the book in less than 2 weeks after receiving it. Sadly, I would not recommend this book to anyone who has now and has had a Narcissist in their life and are looking for help in how to deal with that Narcissist or avoid becoming involved with another Narcissist.

11 of 12 people found the following review helpful

1.0 out of 5 stars Sorry, Lisa. August 12, 2011

By Incredulous

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

I was very disappointed with this book. First of all, the thing is only 87 pages long and it's a paperback. I can get a used college physics textbook with at least five hundred pages in it at this price or a dictionary with three times the pages for two dollars. So I'm not sure if this book is actually a book -- maybe a report, or a pamphlet -- but not a book.

Second of all, , here's a heads up: This book really IS all about him. All Lisa does in the book is talk about her two ex-boyfriends. She goes into detail about how they met and what happened between them and why they were awful narcissists. Peppered throughout the book are Narcissist Facts and quotes from Sam Vaknin, all of which you can find online.

There is no doubt that Lisa's boyfriends did some pretty crappy things to her. They were obviously not very interested in her and one of the guys almost let her drown in the ocean. That's a harrowing experience to be sure, and maybe these men were utter turds - and maybe they were narcissists -- but that does not mean this is a book that is necessarily helpful to others about their own relationships with narcissists.

I understand why Lisa wanted to write a book. It was my primary revenge fantasy after I had been screwed over by my own narcissist. I wanted people to see what he did, and I wanted to embarrass him in front of the whole world and make sure he never got away with what he did to me ever again.

But there's also the revenge fantasy of forever being seen as the person who was right; and also...well, now there's a book about her, and she's got a website, and she runs a message board about narcissistic boyfriends. Is it really all about him? Or is it all about her? Who's the narcissist here?

Also, her overall message was unclear. She had a chapter, about three pages long, about how the US was seeing more and more narcissistic behavior and something about Al Gore. She wanted people to fight against narcissism in their cities and towns I think.

And then one of the last chapters started out saying that neither of her boyfriends were really bad people.

What? The guy let you drown, fer chrissake!

This book is really badly organized, oddly presented, very short and mostly a rehash of what you could find on any website about narcissism, except for Lisa's story. Really it seems like a veiled attempt for Lisa to write about her bad relationships. And herself.

So, it's all about him, it's all about her. But I bought I a self-help book here and I was hoping it would be a little bit about me.