It's a Boy!: Understanding Your Son's Development from Birth to Age 18 [Hardcover]

Michael Thompson Ph.D. (Author), Teresa Barker (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: March 25, 2008

From the New York Times bestselling co-author of Raising Cain, It’s a Boy! is the first major parenting book to chart every stage of a boy’s life. This upbeat, authoritative, and reassuring guide–written by psychologist Michael Thompson, Ph.D., a leading international expert on boys’ development, and journalist Teresa H. Barker–shows how a boy’s inner life progresses through infancy, childhood, and adolescence.

What do boys actually need? How exactly does a healthy boy look and act? It’s a Boy! has the answers, providing expert advice on the developmental, psychological, social, and academic life of boys from infancy through the teen years. Exploring the many ways in which boys strive for masculinity and attempt to define themselves, Dr. Thompson identifies the key developmental transitions that mark a boy’s psychological growth and emotional health, and the challenges both boys and parents face at each age.

• Expecting a Boy: how our deeply held hopes, fears, and family histories shape our expectations of boys and our parenting techniques
• Baby Boys (birth to 18 months): falling in love with your son, healthy attachment, trust, and temperament
• Toddler Years (18 months to 3 years): boys on the go, bold steps, blankies, budding language, and rambunctious physicality
• Powerful Little Boys (ages 3 and 4): superhero ambitions, penis play and potty talk, learning to manage the force of his anger, and celebrating the power of the boy group
• Starting School (ages 5 through 7): developmental cues for school readiness, transitional challenges, girl cooties and boys-only play, tough talk, tender hearts, and first friends
• Boys on a Mission (ages 8 through 10): striving for mastery in sports, screen games, and boy society, organizing the boy brain for school success, and glaring academic gender gaps
• The Preteen (ages 11 through 13): puberty, posturing and popularity, the culture of cruelty, hidden sensitivity, and stoic silence in the middle school years
• Early High School (ages 14 and 15): the secret life of boys, powerful peer groups, sexuality, school strategies, the shift away from Mom (she knows too much), and yearning for Dad’s respect and attention
• On the Brink of Manhood (ages 16 through 18): the quest for independence, sex, love, driving, drinking, and other choices and challenges of life

Practical, insightful, wonderfully engaging, and filled with instructive true stories any parent of a son will recognize, It’s a Boy! is the definitive guide to raising boys in today’s world, revealing with humor, compassion, and joy all the infinite varieties of boys and the deep and profound ways in which we love them.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Addressing recent troubling studies about boys in the U.S. authors Thompson and Barker (Raising Cain; Speaking of Boys) underscore the developmental differences between girls and boys that often compel boys to underachieve in school and embrace destructive behavior. The authors aim to rectify a sense of parental loss of trust in boys' development by advocating early unconditional love, strong maternal attachment, restraint of corporal punishment and sexist stereotyping, strong father participation and safe places where boys can engage in undirected, outside play. The trend toward earlier academic performance in school does not suit boys' development, as they tend to learn language and reading slower than girls, hear less well and fidget. Educators and psychologists share their opinions, all in the spirit of embracing boys' unique energy and intellect. Ages 11 to 13 bring startling changes, which the authors examine under the five tasks of adolescence, while ages 14 to 15 invite a mysterious inner life, and ages 16 to 18 present challenges regarding independence, sexuality and responsibility. In this upbeat guide, Thompson especially relies on his good-sense experience as a father and educator to remind parents not to criticize behavior that is typical for boys. (Mar.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review

Advance praise for It’s a Boy!

“It’s a Boy! is a powerful guide to raising a son in today’s world. Filled with stories from the front lines and practical advice, it is gentle and compassionate, yet also moving and beautiful. The heart of a boy beats in every page.”
–Michael Gurian, author of The Wonder of Boys

“Michael Thompson has gradually earned his place as the Warren Buffett of child rearing, the real deal. His track record of uncanny timing, his hard-won knowledge, common sense, and humanism have resonated with parents everywhere. Now there is a desperate need to understand our boys more deeply; there is a palpable hunger to learn how to handle our sons better. It’s a Boy! does both in a way not seen before. It’s a Boy! will help your son to feel more loved, understood, and effectively guided by you–forever.”
–Ron Taffel, Ph.D., author of Parenting by Heart: How to Stay Connected to Your Child in a Disconnected World

“Spectacular . . . extraordinary insight, enriched by countless poignant and telling stories of boys and their parents and teachers. It’s a Boy! is an immensely helpful navigational chart for steering through the shoals of a boy’s developmental stages.”
–Patrick F. Bassett, president, National Association of Independent Schools

“Wise, sensible, accessible, useful–this is the must-have book every parent of a boy will want and need to turn to as their child grows from a baby to an adolescent. Illuminated by Thompson’s years of experience working with boys and their families, this book is chock-full of new insights and the latest science about the ages and stages of boys’ development. It’s a Boy! is a book that parents, educators, health professionals, and policy makers will go back to again and again and each time come away with a deeper understanding and appreciation of why ‘boys will be boys.’”
–Robie H. Harris, author of It’s Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health

“Bringing together the latest research and the most timeless knowledge and wisdom, this monumental book is unique, invaluable, and urgently important. Any person who cares about boys must own this book, as it addresses every relevant question and provides not only authoritative answers but also comfort, warmth, enthusiasm, and spark. What a truly amazing achievement, what a gift Dr. Thompson has given us all.”
–Edward M. Hallowell, M.D., author of Delivered from Distraction: Getting the Most out of Life with Attention Deficit Disorder

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 480 pages
• Publisher: Ballantine Books; 1 edition (March 25, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0345493958
• ISBN-13: 978-0345493958
• Product Dimensions: 7.8 x 1.3 x 9.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 2.2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (25 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #107,267 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

34 of 34 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Offers great deal of insight into minds of boys, April 17, 2008

By 

Patrice Fagnant-macarthur (Springfield, MA) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (TOP 1000 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: It's a Boy!: Understanding Your Son's Development from Birth to Age 18 (Hardcover)

"It's a Boy: Understanding Your Son's Development From Birth to Age 18" by Michael Thompson, Ph.D. is one of the best parenting books I've seen as far as being dedicated to understanding what is going on in a boy's brain. As a mother of two boys, I admit that sometimes I am completely befuddled by their behavior. I have (obviously) never been a little boy and because of that, I can't necessarily relate to what they are going through. Dr. Thompson describes what is going on in their heads and also helps parents to realize that their son's behavior is normal and what it should be.

Dr. Thompson also does a great job of describing why so many boys have so much trouble in school and offers some solutions as to what can be done to fix it. I wish I could photocopy whole chapters of this book to distribute to my sons' teachers. Teachers, most of whom are women, especially if they have never had any sons of their own, often just don't get little boy behavior. This book would help so much in their understanding.

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Great info. for understanding your boys!, April 24, 2008

By 

Mother of 2 boys (Denver, CO) - See all my reviews

This review is from: It's a Boy!: Understanding Your Son's Development from Birth to Age 18 (Hardcover)

I have a 3 yr. old and a 1yr. old boy and I wanted to get this book in order to gain a little insight into how a boy's mind works. So far I really enjoy this book. It has given me the insight I needed to help understand why my boys behave the way they do. I also like how the book is organized by ages. It is almost like a handy reference. You can skip around to the chapters that deal with your child's age, and then go back or ahead to gain more insight into what is to come. I think this is a must read for any parent who has a boy. I also feel that every teacher should read this book to help understand how to best meet the needs of the boys in their classes.

19 of 23 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars The book is just okay, July 23, 2008

By 

MamaMia (New York) - See all my reviews

This review is from: It's a Boy!: Understanding Your Son's Development from Birth to Age 18 (Hardcover)

I felt that the book was geered for parents with only "stereo-typical" boys, which I do not have. If your son is a typical high energy boy, then this is the book for you. If your son is more sensitive and laid back, there is not much in this book to answer your questions or validate your parenting tactics.