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It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy Hardcover – September 27, 2005

497 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

If He's Just Not That into You told a woman how to spot a man who's not really interested in a relationship with her—and how to deal with it proactively—this follow-up is for those, male and female, who've been blindsided by a breakup after thinking Everything Is Fine. Speaking less this time from a guy's perspective and more as someone who has been dumped and survived, Behrendt tackles the often inevitable symptoms of a broken attachment: the obsessive thinking (and calling and e-mailing), the crying, the debilitating depression (and its effects on one's job performance), the crazy acting-out, the food and spending issues, the friend burnout. This time, Behrendt is aided by his wife, who offers her own breakup stories, with the two together serving as a constant reminder that one can love again. The book is padded with not-so-funny vignettes, and anecdotal letters from readers are answered in a rather wearying Dear Abby style. There's little new or insightful, but Behrendt's frankness—never too harsh—is as winning as ever, and the title is catchy. Everything is more or less in place for this burgeoning franchise.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From Booklist

Behrendt, coauthor of the wildly popular dating guide He's Just Not That into You (2004), teams up with his wife to offer a how-to guide for coping when a relationship goes south. Both Greg and his wife, Amiira, went through extremely traumatic, drawn-out breakups before finding happiness with each other, and they share the stories of what they did wrong (and what they eventually did right) as they go through the basics of how to survive a breakup: stop calling him or waiting for him to call, don't sit at home moping, avoid wearing sweats (unless exercising), and find a friend to help you through it. They also include letters seeking advice and Greg's responses to them, breakup horror stories, and "psycho confessionals," real tales of women who went too far in reacting to a breakup. The authors take a lighthearted and positive tone throughout their boisterous guide; expect demand from the many readers who made He's Just Not That into You a hit. Kristine Huntley
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 288 pages
  • Publisher: Broadway; 1st ptg edition (September 27, 2005)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0767921852
  • ISBN-13: 978-0767921855
  • Product Dimensions: 5.8 x 0.9 x 8.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (497 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #299,968 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

186 of 198 people found the following review helpful By S. Dominy on October 9, 2005
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
I think Greg has great intentions with his book, but it's so similar to his first book, same set-up and style. Don't get me wrong, I think he does a great service esp for us women because we're too understanding, too nice, or whatever the case may be. I thought his first book was a God-send, but this one was kind of more of the same stuff. I don't discount his advice, but there's something missing; there's no positive focus on when it might be right to work it out or why it's important and healthy to want to talk things out. A person is not weak for wanting to understand "what happened." It's when someone goes overboard and won't let go, and I realize that is probably the emotional starting point for this book.

I realize, from my own recent experience, that some people (not just men) can be present during the course of a breakup and there are those who simply check out and run away. Greg seems to focus on just that one type of person. And so I think his advice is on target when it comes to the emotionally spineless person who runs from a breakup; the kind who sends all kinds of mixed signals and then blindsides the person who is in love with them. It happened to me, and I understand the pain of that kind of breakup. I tried to talk to my boyfriend and he wouldn't see me or talk to me. It was the shock of my life; I never saw it coming, truly. If I have anything to pass on, it is important to hold yourself in as much dignity as possible; but don't beat yourself up if you email him or call; you're human and you are hurt and it is natural and healthy to want to understand what happened, esp if you never saw it coming.

Again, I'm not discounting the advice Greg gives here; I just found it to be more of the same stuff from his first book.
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99 of 103 people found the following review helpful By Mom of Sons VINE VOICE on October 6, 2005
Format: Hardcover
I really wish this book had been around when I was in my 20s and making all the mistakes Behrendt outlines in gory and humorous detail here! Such as: Don't EVER phone your ex, especially not when you are at your worst, i.e., sloppy drunk and desperate at 2 a.m. Advice in the book, which runs along the lines of "Hey, this is such a sucky relationship, so why are you hanging on to it so tightly?" is clear, logical and empowering!
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87 of 101 people found the following review helpful By Lisa E. on December 20, 2005
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
Before I review this book...I would like to get a major pet peeve off my chest. I read some of the reviews before I started writing this and came across a review where the person had not read the whole book yet wrote a review. I would like to say that a review is where you read the WHOLE BOOK and then criticize it all you like...not read it halfway through and feel that writing a review is credible. It is not. The point of a review is to offer up your point of view which is not possible if you haven't read the whole book.

Now that I have said that...I thought this book was terrific. Whether you dislike Greg using the word Superfox or not...the book was insightful, funny, compassionate and didn't offer the same platitudes or psychobabble that one encounters in other books of this genre.

Greg and Amiira did not write this book from some lofty ivory tower. They have been in the trenches like a lot uf us. Greg drank and chased after his ex until he finally saw the light at the end of a very long tunnel and got into AA.

Amiira was married and while not as destructive as Greg...her pain, misery [and sleepless nights] are nearly as poignant as Greg's.

I have read this book three times and found something new to hold on to each time I read it.

Some of the elements I particularly liked in this book start with the questions to Greg and his answers...sometimes tart ["how about pretending not to be completey crazy" he says to one woman in the throes of...well..acting completely crazy] were always enlightening.

I also enjoyed "The Best Worst News", and "What I Did Wrong" where Greg and Amiira share...what they did wrong.
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37 of 42 people found the following review helpful By Eva Sophia on June 11, 2006
Format: Hardcover
FACE IT: It was never going to work ... and better it broke up off before it ended up a doomed marriage or more wasted years. You are with you 24/7 and only YOU can make you happy. Romantic relationships, if they don't enhance your life, are a drain to enjoying the most joy possible. Life is full of inevitable tragedy - death and taxes - optional suffering is NOT required. Breaking up means breaking free of baggage and entanglements that are overwhelmingly hard to break away from if a dead-end duo go on for too long.

Remember - romantic love is emotional cocaine - and what you are really feeling is withdrawal symptoms. Get excercise, eat really well, seek professional help if neccessary, and most of all ... LET GO of the fantasy that any other way than how it happened would have been happier. Live in reality ... and life is going to be a much easier experience. Have fun with your friends!
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15 of 15 people found the following review helpful By Book Lover on November 25, 2012
Format: Paperback
I nearly gave this book four stars because it really does make you open your eyes and see your situation with greater clarity. When I started out reading this, my ex had just come sniffing around sending me mixed signals and I wanted to get back together. Spending a few hours with this book has made me open my eyes and realize I probably shouldn't. So yes, it has value. But like Behrendt's first foray into self help, HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU, it oversimplifies things and many of its help is really the same common sense your girlfriends have been trying to drill into your brain.

Greg Behrendt is operating from the principle that whenever a man breaks up with a woman (and since this book is geared towards women, that is usually what we're working from) he absolutely has already emotionally disconnected from her, does not want to be with her, and doesn't want to get back together with her EVER. Honestly, from personal experience I have found this just isn't the case. Men (and women) have a variety of different reasons for breaking up with people, since we're all complicated creatures. And I've personally found that if you leave the guy who broke up with you alone and don't chase him he comes back on his own accord. Greg obviously doesn't have experience with this, while any woman will tell you that guys who break up with you always come back and usually you don't want them anymore.

I'm also finding plenty of sweeping generalizations that are simply not true. For instance, Behrendt declared that men get over breakups faster than women do ALWAYS and that's just the way men are wired. (And he asserts this while telling how own war story of a descent into alcoholic unemployment over a break-up, no less)!
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