It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy [Hardcover]

Greg Behrendt (Author), Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt (Author)

Book Description

Release date: September 27, 2005

There’s no doubt about it—breakups suck. But in the first few hours or days or weeks that follow, there’s one important truth you need to recognize: Some things can’t and shouldn’t be fixed, especially that loser who dumped you or forced you to dump him. It’s over for a reason, and deep down inside you probably know what that reason is. It’s called a breakup because it’s broken, and starting today, you’re not the kind of woman who settles for broken, or hangs on to damaged goods, be it a radio, a pair of shoes, or a relationship. It’s time to get rid of all the broken stuff you’ve been lugging around for days, months, and maybe even years, and make the bold decision to start looking for stuff that works! Because the longer you stay stuck in a dead-end relationship, the less time you get on this planet to experience a great one. So open up this book, and let’s dive in—our goal is to help you turn your breakup into the event that changes your life for the better in ways you never dreamed possible.

The co-author of the smash two-million copy bestseller He’s Just Not That Into You, Greg Behrendt knows that the one thing harder than realizing he’s not that into you is finding the courage to walk away from the relationship. But Greg and his co-author and wife, Amiira, also know that there’s a flip side to every breakup: As dark as everything seems right now, this could be the single best thing that’s ever happened to you.

It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken is the ultimate survival guide to getting over Mr. Wrong and reclaiming your inner Superfox. From how to put yourself through “he-tox,” to how to throw yourself a kick-ass pity party, Greg and Amiira share their hilarious and helpful roadmap for getting past the heartache and back into the game. They give advice on:
•Why you shouldn’t call him—and what he’s thinking when you do
•How to keep your friends and not lose your job
•How to avoid breakup pitfalls: IMing, stalking, having sex with your ex
•Reframing reality—seeing the relationship for what it was
•How to transform yourself into a hot, happening Superfox and get a jump on the better, brighter future that awaits

It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken gives you everything you need to get over him and make the right decisions along the way. Complete with an essential workbook to help you put the crazy down on paper and not take it out into the world, this is a straight-talking, spot-on, must-have manual for finding your way back to an even more rocking you.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

If He's Just Not That into You told a woman how to spot a man who's not really interested in a relationship with her—and how to deal with it proactively—this follow-up is for those, male and female, who've been blindsided by a breakup after thinking Everything Is Fine. Speaking less this time from a guy's perspective and more as someone who has been dumped and survived, Behrendt tackles the often inevitable symptoms of a broken attachment: the obsessive thinking (and calling and e-mailing), the crying, the debilitating depression (and its effects on one's job performance), the crazy acting-out, the food and spending issues, the friend burnout. This time, Behrendt is aided by his wife, who offers her own breakup stories, with the two together serving as a constant reminder that one can love again. The book is padded with not-so-funny vignettes, and anecdotal letters from readers are answered in a rather wearying Dear Abby style. There's little new or insightful, but Behrendt's frankness—never too harsh—is as winning as ever, and the title is catchy. Everything is more or less in place for this burgeoning franchise.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From Booklist

Behrendt, coauthor of the wildly popular dating guide He's Just Not That into You (2004), teams up with his wife to offer a how-to guide for coping when a relationship goes south. Both Greg and his wife, Amiira, went through extremely traumatic, drawn-out breakups before finding happiness with each other, and they share the stories of what they did wrong (and what they eventually did right) as they go through the basics of how to survive a breakup: stop calling him or waiting for him to call, don't sit at home moping, avoid wearing sweats (unless exercising), and find a friend to help you through it. They also include letters seeking advice and Greg's responses to them, breakup horror stories, and "psycho confessionals," real tales of women who went too far in reacting to a breakup. The authors take a lighthearted and positive tone throughout their boisterous guide; expect demand from the many readers who made He's Just Not That into You a hit. Kristine Huntley
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 288 pages
• Publisher: Broadway; First Edition edition (September 27, 2005)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0767921852
• ISBN-13: 978-0767921855
• Product Dimensions: 8.1 x 5.8 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (293 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #294,019 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

82 of 84 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A breakup bible! October 6, 2005

By Mom of Sons VINE™ VOICE

Format:Hardcover

I really wish this book had been around when I was in my 20s and making all the mistakes Behrendt outlines in gory and humorous detail here! Such as: Don't EVER phone your ex, especially not when you are at your worst, i.e., sloppy drunk and desperate at 2 a.m. Advice in the book, which runs along the lines of "Hey, this is such a sucky relationship, so why are you hanging on to it so tightly?" is clear, logical and empowering!

139 of 149 people found the following review helpful

3.0 out of 5 stars He's Just Not That Into You, Part Deux October 9, 2005

By S. Dominy

Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase

I think Greg has great intentions with his book, but it's so similar to his first book, same set-up and style. Don't get me wrong, I think he does a great service esp for us women because we're too understanding, too nice, or whatever the case may be. I thought his first book was a God-send, but this one was kind of more of the same stuff. I don't discount his advice, but there's something missing; there's no positive focus on when it might be right to work it out or why it's important and healthy to want to talk things out. A person is not weak for wanting to understand "what happened." It's when someone goes overboard and won't let go, and I realize that is probably the emotional starting point for this book.

I realize, from my own recent experience, that some people (not just men) can be present during the course of a breakup and there are those who simply check out and run away. Greg seems to focus on just that one type of person. And so I think his advice is on target when it comes to the emotionally spineless person who runs from a breakup; the kind who sends all kinds of mixed signals and then blindsides the person who is in love with them. It happened to me, and I understand the pain of that kind of breakup. I tried to talk to my boyfriend and he wouldn't see me or talk to me. It was the shock of my life; I never saw it coming, truly. If I have anything to pass on, it is important to hold yourself in as much dignity as possible; but don't beat yourself up if you email him or call; you're human and you are hurt and it is natural and healthy to want to understand what happened, esp if you never saw it coming.

Again, I'm not discounting the advice Greg gives here; I just found it to be more of the same stuff from his first book....

But the best advice is to remember that you are a superfox and don't waste the pretty. For those of you hurting, you are not alone; it sucks; you will get over it, it just takes time and that's the hard part, and I know you want to know so badly what he (or she) is thinking. And when that person refuses to be present or emotionally available that's a whole other level of rejection to deal with.

This too shall pass, and there is someone out there who will see you for the awesome person you are. Greg is right on that one. Focus your energy on that reality, and slowly you'll forget the nightmare you just went through. The more you can focus on attracting the love you deserve, and giving your attention to that, the more you will see your break up was probably a blessing. Time moves slowly for the brokenhearted ... I know. Read more ›

58 of 67 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars GREAT BOOK FOR GETTING OVER BREAKING UP December 20, 2005

By Lisa E.

Format:Hardcover

Before I review this book...I would like to get a major pet peeve off my chest. I read some of the reviews before I started writing this and came across a review where the person had not read the whole book yet wrote a review. I would like to say that a review is where you read the WHOLE BOOK and then criticize it all you like...not read it halfway through and feel that writing a review is credible. It is not. The point of a review is to offer up your point of view which is not possible if you haven't read the whole book.

Now that I have said that...I thought this book was terrifc. Whether you dislike Greg using the word Superfox or not...the book was insightful, funny, compassionate and didn't offer the same platitudes or psycho-babble that one encounters in other books of this genre.

Greg and Amiira did not write this book from some lofty ivory tower. They have been in the trenches like a lot uf us. Greg drank and chased after his ex until he finally saw the light at the end of a very long tunnel and got into AA.

Amiira was married and while not as destructive as Greg...her pain, misery [and sleepless nights] are nearly as poignant as Greg's.

I have read this book three times and found something new to hold on to each time I read it.

Some of the elements I particularly liked in this book start with the questions to Greg and his answers...sometimes tart ["how about pretending not to be completey crazy" he says to one woman in the throes of...well..acting completely crazy] were always enlightening.

I also enjoyed "The Best Worst News", and "What I Did Wrong" where Greg and Amiira share...what they did wrong....

"Psycho Confessionals" was actually great fun to read because while a lot of us have gone off the deep end when we are going through a break up...not all of us have gone to the extent some of these women have. I have offered up a silent prayer of thanks that while I thought I might go nuts...I never showed up at his door acting like it.

One very smart idea that Greg and Amiira came up with was after giving advice on what you should do in the recovery proces... and while you are in the midst of moaning to yourself that you can't possibly do that...they offer up "How The Hell Am I Supposed To Do That" because they understand exactly how hard it is.

My story ends a little differently because my boyfriend and I actually got back together. But here is where the book is a treasure for another reason. Instead of spending my time when I am not with my boyfriend...obsessing about my boyfriend [something I have done in every past relationship] I am using all the breakup rules they have as if we had really broken up and have re-connected with old friends...started exercising again and am completely re-organizing my life...all off which had fallen completely by the wayside as my concentration was centered around him.

If my boyfriend and I had not gotten back together...I would have been able to handle it without going completely to pieces [after I initially went completely to pieces] and the fact that we have gotten back together...I am now handling the relationship and my life differently...thanks to this book.

In my opinion...this is the definitive book on breaking up and I would like to thank both Greg and Amiira for helping me tremendously both during during the break up and how I have handled myself since.

So to my surprise...this book actually works on more then one level. Read more ›

20 of 23 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Audio version...loved it! October 5, 2006

By toddee62

Format:Hardcover

I listened to this audio as I drove to and from work. In a nutshell it tells you that you shouldn't attempt to communicate with someone who has broken up with you. No matter what reason you have for doing it, the other party is going to think you are pathetic. I broke up with my last boyfriend only because I think he didn't have the guts to. He was seeing me less and less. It didn't take a rocket scientist to realize he was no longer interested. I did tell him I felt him pulling away and I was going to make things easier for him and leave him alone. I had his housekey and instead of asking him to pick it up, I mailed it to him and communication stopped completely. I never attempted to call him or run into him only because I remember how I felt when another ex did that to me. Instead of wanting him back I got angry that he was stalking me and it made me dislike him all the more. Anyhow, this last boyfriend recently called me and asked if we could 'give it another try'. I politely said no that I had been there done that and knew it would never work. Here's the thing, he pursued me in a way I never dreamed he would ever stoop so low to do. I know that had I called him or 'bumped into him' after we broke up he would have never come back. I never did return to him even though I was seeing no one else because I knew if it didn't work the first (and second) time around, it wouldn't magically work the third or fourth. For what it's worth, the book was great, it gave good advise and did it with humor. If Greg writes another book, I will get that one too. I enjoy his candor and also watch his television show daily.