It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy (Paperback)

by Greg Behrendt (Author), Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt (Author)
Key Phrases: best worst news, New York, The Smart Girl's Breakover Super Book, Special Circumstances (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly
If He's Just Not That into You told a woman how to spot a man who's not really interested in a relationship with her—and how to deal with it proactively—this follow-up is for those, male and female, who've been blindsided by a breakup after thinking Everything Is Fine. Speaking less this time from a guy's perspective and more as someone who has been dumped and survived, Behrendt tackles the often inevitable symptoms of a broken attachment: the obsessive thinking (and calling and e-mailing), the crying, the debilitating depression (and its effects on one's job performance), the crazy acting-out, the food and spending issues, the friend burnout. This time, Behrendt is aided by his wife, who offers her own breakup stories, with the two together serving as a constant reminder that one can love again. The book is padded with not-so-funny vignettes, and anecdotal letters from readers are answered in a rather wearying Dear Abby style. There's little new or insightful, but Behrendt's frankness—never too harsh—is as winning as ever, and the title is catchy. Everything is more or less in place for this burgeoning franchise.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Booklist
Behrendt, coauthor of the wildly popular dating guide He's Just Not That into You (2004), teams up with his wife to offer a how-to guide for coping when a relationship goes south. Both Greg and his wife, Amiira, went through extremely traumatic, drawn-out breakups before finding happiness with each other, and they share the stories of what they did wrong (and what they eventually did right) as they go through the basics of how to survive a breakup: stop calling him or waiting for him to call, don't sit at home moping, avoid wearing sweats (unless exercising), and find a friend to help you through it. They also include letters seeking advice and Greg's responses to them, breakup horror stories, and "psycho confessionals," real tales of women who went too far in reacting to a breakup. The authors take a lighthearted and positive tone throughout their boisterous guide; expect demand from the many readers who made He's Just Not That into You a hit. Kristine Huntley
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 288 pages
• Publisher: Broadway (September 5, 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0767921968
• ISBN-13: 978-0767921961
• Product Dimensions: 7.8 x 5.2 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars See all reviews (151 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #4,829 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

47 of 47 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Great guide for those ready to move on after a breakup, September 27, 2007

By	Beth Cholette "doctor_beth" (Upstate NY USA) - See all my reviews (TOP 10 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)

I am a psychologist working at a college counseling center, and I have recommended this book to several of my clients who have experienced a relationship breakup. However, because the tone of this book is very lighthearted, almost irreverent, I've been selective in my recommendations. The authors--a husband and wife team who talk freely about their own past breakups--infuse plenty of humor into their work. There can be a thin line between being funny and empowering versus funny and belittling, and I do believe the authors fall well on the side of the former, but still, I'd recommend this book mainly for those who are READY to move on after a breakup but just are not sure how to do so.

The book has two main parts: "The Breakup," which centers around coming to terms with the reality that the relationship is truly over, and "The Breakover," which focuses on coping with this new reality. The chapters contain a wealth of helpful information, from personal stories by the authors to simple exercises and questionnaires to occasional recipes (I plan to try the "Crack Brownies" soon!). The second part of the book focuses on "Breakup Commandments" and contains a special chapter for men called "Dude, Get Off Her Long." On the whole, however, this book is mainly geared towards empowering women who have been dumped, with the authors frequently using endearments designed to give a much-needed self-esteem boost (including calling the reader "Superfox," "Pretty Lady," and "Hot Stuff").

Overall, the main point of this book is that the breakups are like a serious illness which is undeniably painful yet completely curable. With empathy, wisdom, and wit, the authors provide plenty of hope that you can pass through the destruction and devastation left by your broken relationship and embrace the wonderful new life waiting for you.

40 of 40 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Wake up girl!, September 11, 2006

By	Megan Harper - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

I read this book in the midst of a train wreck break-up that dragged on and on for around four months. I am an intelligent woman with a few years of experience under my belt and a healthy dose of cynicism about the opposite sex but as Amiira says in the book "He was my kryptonite." I went against every instinct and every bit of logic just to hang onto this jackass a little longer so he could continue to string me along and jerk me around as he saw fit. After I moved out of his house, he was still in and out of my bed, doing the famed drunk dial on a nightly basis and generally sending mixed signals. "I love you" "I want something different". I quit my job, moved 50 miles away and still, I couldn't shake him.
Then I read this book. From cover to cover- all in one night. The next day I emailed him and told him I was 100% done with his nonsense and have not been in contact with him since (it's been 8 months). I'm not going to lie and say that this book is going to suddenly cure you of the pain of heart break, or that you suddenly won't feel a thing for him....but it WILL snap you out of the dysfunctional dance of delusion you're stuck in. Greg is harsh and he tells you like it is. Why shouldn't you call him? "BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU. EVEN IF YOU THINK HE DOES, YOU'RE PROBABLY WRONG. IF HE WANTED TO TALK TO YOU, TO CHECK ON YOU, TO RECONCILE WITH YOU, HE WOULD." (Ouch!) But darn it, I needed to hear that, and what good friend is gonna put it to you that way? The guy is speaking from personal experience. (Not only from the dumper but also the dumpee- he made a darn fool of himself for a girl once too.) You'll cringe as you see yourself in some of the "Psycho Confessionals" but thankfully most are so over the top, you'll feel sane by comparison. His wife Amiira also chimes in with her experience (I found I related to her nightmare first marriage in many ways) Definitely reccommended for anyone who's felt the rejection, humiliation or confusion of any brand of break up. Before you can move on, you have to truly understand that this thing is O-V-E-R. This book is the objective slap in the face to make you see how silly you've acted over this dude. I only regret I hadn't read it sooner....it would've saved me four months of unneccessary drama.

27 of 29 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars He's Just Not That Into You, Part Deux, October 9, 2005

By	S. Dominy - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This review is from: It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy (Hardcover)

I think Greg has great intentions with his book, but it's so similar to his first book, same set-up and style. Don't get me wrong, I think he does a great service esp for us women because we're too understanding, too nice, or whatever the case may be. I thought his first book was a God-send, but this one was kind of more of the same stuff. I don't discount his advice, but there's something missing; there's no positive focus on when it might be right to work it out or why it's important and healthy to want to talk things out. A person is not weak for wanting to understand "what happened." It's when someone goes overboard and won't let go, and I realize that is probably the emotional starting point for this book.

I realize, from my own recent experience, that some people (not just men) can be present during the course of a breakup and there are those who simply check out and run away. Greg seems to focus on just that one type of person. And so I think his advice is on target when it comes to the emotionally spineless person who runs from a breakup; the kind who sends all kinds of mixed signals and then blindsides the person who is in love with them. It happened to me, and I understand the pain of that kind of breakup. I tried to talk to my boyfriend and he wouldn't see me or talk to me. It was the shock of my life; I never saw it coming, truly. If I have anything to pass on, it is important to hold yourself in as much dignity as possible; but don't beat yourself up if you email him or call; you're human and you are hurt and it is natural and healthy to want to understand what happened, esp if you never saw it coming.

Again, I'm not discounting the advice Greg gives here; I just found it to be more of the same stuff from his first book.

But the best advice is to remember that you are a superfox and don't waste the pretty. For those of you hurting, you are not alone; it sucks; you will get over it, it just takes time and that's the hard part, and I know you want to know so badly what he (or she) is thinking. And when that person refuses to be present or emotionally available that's a whole other level of rejection to deal with.

This too shall pass, and there is someone out there who will see you for the awesome person you are. Greg is right on that one. Focus your energy on that reality, and slowly you'll forget the nightmare you just went through. The more you can focus on attracting the love you deserve, and giving your attention to that, the more you will see your break up was probably a blessing. Time moves slowly for the brokenhearted ... I know.