Most Helpful Customer Reviews
74 of 75 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
A breakup bible!, October 6, 2005
I really wish this book had been around when I was in my 20s and making all the mistakes Behrendt outlines in gory and humorous detail here! Such as: Don't EVER phone your ex, especially not when you are at your worst, i.e., sloppy drunk and desperate at 2 a.m. Advice in the book, which runs along the lines of "Hey, this is such a sucky relationship, so why are you hanging on to it so tightly?" is clear, logical and empowering!
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97 of 107 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
He's Just Not That Into You, Part Deux, October 9, 2005
I think Greg has great intentions with his book, but it's so similar to his first book, same set-up and style. Don't get me wrong, I think he does a great service esp for us women because we're too understanding, too nice, or whatever the case may be. I thought his first book was a God-send, but this one was kind of more of the same stuff. I don't discount his advice, but there's something missing; there's no positive focus on when it might be right to work it out or why it's important and healthy to want to talk things out. A person is not weak for wanting to understand "what happened." It's when someone goes overboard and won't let go, and I realize that is probably the emotional starting point for this book. I realize, from my own recent experience, that some people (not just men) can be present during the course of a breakup and there are those who simply check out and run away. Greg seems to focus on just that one type of person. And so I think his advice is on target when it comes to the emotionally spineless person who runs from a breakup; the kind who sends all kinds of mixed signals and then blindsides the person who is in love with them. It happened to me, and I understand the pain of that kind of breakup. I tried to talk to my boyfriend and he wouldn't see me or talk to me. It was the shock of my life; I never saw it coming, truly. If I have anything to pass on, it is important to hold yourself in as much dignity as possible; but don't beat yourself up if you email him or call; you're human and you are hurt and it is natural and healthy to want to understand what happened, esp if you never saw it coming. Again, I'm not discounting the advice Greg gives here; I just found it to be more of the same stuff from his first book. But the best advice is to remember that you are a superfox and don't waste the pretty. For those of you hurting, you are not alone; it sucks; you will get over it, it just takes time and that's the hard part, and I know you want to know so badly what he (or she) is thinking. And when that person refuses to be present or emotionally available that's a whole other level of rejection to deal with. This too shall pass, and there is someone out there who will see you for the awesome person you are. Greg is right on that one. Focus your energy on that reality, and slowly you'll forget the nightmare you just went through. The more you can focus on attracting the love you deserve, and giving your attention to that, the more you will see your break up was probably a blessing. Time moves slowly for the brokenhearted ... I know.
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33 of 38 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
GREAT BOOK FOR GETTING OVER BREAKING UP, December 20, 2005
Before I review this book...I would like to get a major pet peeve off my chest. I read some of the reviews before I started writing this and came across a review where the person had not read the whole book yet wrote a review. I would like to say that a review is where you read the WHOLE BOOK and then criticize it all you like...not read it halfway through and feel that writing a review is credible. It is not. The point of a review is to offer up your point of view which is not possible if you haven't read the whole book. Now that I have said that...I thought this book was terrifc. Whether you dislike Greg using the word Superfox or not...the book was insightful, funny, compassionate and didn't offer the same platitudes or psycho-babble that one encounters in other books of this genre. Greg and Amiira did not write this book from some lofty ivory tower. They have been in the trenches like a lot uf us. Greg drank and chased after his ex until he finally saw the light at the end of a very long tunnel and got into AA. Amiira was married and while not as destructive as Greg...her pain, misery [and sleepless nights] are nearly as poignant as Greg's. I have read this book three times and found something new to hold on to each time I read it. Some of the elements I particularly liked in this book start with the questions to Greg and his answers...sometimes tart ["how about pretending not to be completey crazy" he says to one woman in the throes of...well..acting completely crazy] were always enlightening. I also enjoyed "The Best Worst News", and "What I Did Wrong" where Greg and Amiira share...what they did wrong. "Psycho Confessionals" was actually great fun to read because while a lot of us have gone off the deep end when we are going through a break up...not all of us have gone to the extent some of these women have. I have offered up a silent prayer of thanks that while I thought I might go nuts...I never showed up at his door acting like it. One very smart idea that Greg and Amiira came up with was after giving advice on what you should do in the recovery proces... and while you are in the midst of moaning to yourself that you can't possibly do that...they offer up "How The Hell Am I Supposed To Do That" because they understand exactly how hard it is. My story ends a little differently because my boyfriend and I actually got back together. But here is where the book is a treasure for another reason. Instead of spending my time when I am not with my boyfriend...obsessing about my boyfriend [something I have done in every past relationship] I am using all the breakup rules they have as if we had really broken up and have re-connected with old friends...started exercising again and am completely re-organizing my life...all off which had fallen completely by the wayside as my concentration was centered around him. If my boyfriend and I had not gotten back together...I would have been able to handle it without going completely to pieces [after I initially went completely to pieces] and the fact that we have gotten back together...I am now handling the relationship and my life differently...thanks to this book. In my opinion...this is the definitive book on breaking up and I would like to thank both Greg and Amiira for helping me tremendously both during during the break up and how I have handled myself since. So to my surprise...this book actually works on more then one level.
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