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It's Complicated (But It Doesn't Have to Be): A Modern Guide to Finding and Keeping Love Hardcover – October 11, 2012

86 customer reviews

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It's Complicated (But It Doesn't Have to Be): A Modern Guide to Finding and Keeping Love + For Single People Who Still Understand The Value of Relationships + I Got You: Restoring Confidence in Love and Relationships
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Editorial Reviews

Review

"It's Complicated (But It Doesn't Have to Be) is as relevant to those seeking love as it is to people who have already found it. This is a great tool for both men and women and is a terrific refresher course for those of us in committed relationships."
—Lisa Ling, award-winning journalist and bestselling author

"Paul is much more than a matchmaker, he's a life coach."
—Oprah Winfrey

About the Author

Paul Carrick Brunson is a professional matchmaker and certified life coach. A former investment banker and business executive with an MBA from Georgetown University, he founded One Degree from Me, a premier matchmaking and life-coaching company in 2009, and has matched over three thousand people on dates, resulting in over three hundred long-term matches. He lives in Washington, D.C., with Jill, his wife of ten years, and their son, Kingston.
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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 304 pages
  • Publisher: Gotham (October 11, 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1592407692
  • ISBN-13: 978-1592407699
  • Product Dimensions: 5.3 x 1 x 7.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (86 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #317,152 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

21 of 22 people found the following review helpful By Glenda on October 21, 2012
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
I originally bought this book just to support Paul because I had been following his work for a very long time. I've read numerous relationship books that all seem to exploit women by telling us what's wrong with us and make men seem like flawless beings. As to say if something goes wrong, it must be your fault WOMAN. I very ignorantly thought this book would bring a similar message, but it is COMPLETELY different. It speaks to both MEN and WOMEN in a very realistic way that matches our real lives. It makes you take a deeper look both at and inside yourself, and it makes things apparent that your friends will almost never tell you. I recommend this book to everyone no matter your relationship status.
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13 of 16 people found the following review helpful By aymorj on October 22, 2012
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
I purchased this book a few weeks in advance and I was super excited to receive it straight to my Kindle on the 11th. I quickly breezed through each of the chapters, laughing and learning with every sentence. Paul has a way of relating each of the topics to real, everyday experiences that he has witnessed.

Granted, I'm not the appropriate demographic for this book. He didn't write this book with me in mind, but I still could relate it to my life. I am currently single and have not found love yet, but I'm not down about it. This book helped me see that there are numerous ways for me to go out and find other people who are just like me.

You must focus on your appearance, and keep it in mind. Look through your closet and see what kind of clothes you have. Are they all the same, or do you have a variety of styles and colors. If all you have are jeans and T's, then maybe you need to mix in a suit, and maybe some khakis and polos. This will give you a variety of looks for different situations.

Paul also focuses on how you have to break out of your shell and go the extra mile to meet new people. You might live by the notion that true love will just happen to you someday, but how do you expect that to happen if you aren't out meeting new people? Do you expect Prince Charming to just fall out of the sky and land next to you on your couch? It's not going to happen. You need to be confident with how you look, and love yourself as a person; then go out and do something new and exciting to meet new people.

There is so much good advice within these pages. You would be insane not to purchase this book right away. Oh, you already found the love of your life and you don't need to read this? Well, Paul also touches on how you can maintain that lasting relationship. So that is no excuse, click "Buy Now" and enjoy reading it.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By tamiamc on May 27, 2013
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
I saw this book advertised on another person's page and decided to check it out based on what I read from small excerpts. It is more than worth it's value. As a single person maneuvering through the very turbulent waters of dating in this century, this book serves as a life raft. It is easy to read, understand, follow and apply. Also, Paul Carrick Brunson is as real and touchable as his words make him seem. For those looking for love, in love, and regaining love, this book is certainly a jewel to have.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Danielle on July 26, 2014
Format: Hardcover
I absolutely loved this book. I read it in about 4 days! Once I picked up the book, I simply could not put it down. Paul gives great advice in this book for both men and women. This book is not gender-specific. It focuses on teaching everyone to build meaningful, loving, and trusting relationships. Paul's viewpoint is not biased. He's very honest. Some things will be tough to read and he will force you to look deep within yourself at your own flaws to see how they've affected your ability to build healthy relationships. Great job Paul! I can't wait for your next book! We want more!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Delia Gardner-Price on February 2, 2014
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
FINALLY!!! A book written by a happily married black man who doesn't necessarily have prominent denomination's outlook and who makes sense from a psychological stand point! I LOVED the fact that he adds in stories from clients that he's worked with detailing their outlooks and how he asks them to seek professional help to deal with any issues that may prevent someone from dating responsibly. Much better than Patti Stanger ( who I don't believe is married yet)...
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By LaSonya Thompson, Esq. on May 16, 2013
Format: Hardcover
Paul C. Brunson explores how destructive mindsets, desires, lusts, and impulses stemming from a slew of factors (past breakups, parental modeling or lack thereof, holding on to dead weight, etc.) lead to a cycle of brick wall relationship experiences. He recommends steering clear of red flags, setting boundaries and verbally communicating expectations at the outset.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Titilayo Kuti on October 2, 2014
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
After reading so many of Paul's blogs on Essence I must say this read like a well thought out blog. The additional space was used efficiently. The core message to live and love your life where you're at is employee empowering. I will likely referebce this book again when I'm in another stage in my life.
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Format: Hardcover
Paul Brunson is a professional matchmaker and a life coach who is the founder of One Degree from Me, which he started in 2009. To many he is a real life Hitch. Paul has gone on to star in a reality television show on OWN (Oprah Winfery Network) Lovetown, USA.

This novel is a great tool for anyone who is in or looking to start a relationship. It has a lot of educational information that gives insight to those who are looking for love or are in love. Paul challenges you to look at you and evaluate who you really are. The book has a mission to help people find their true mates and to help people determine what they are really looking for. The novel is filled with stories from his clients that brings to life the advice that Paul provides. The information helps you break out of your shell and gives you an insight on how to meet new people. It is obvious from the book that Paul wants people to realize that we make things more complicated than they really are? It makes you question yourself about why we do what we do. Paul gives homework at the end of each chapter that makes you reflect on the information and challenges the reader to take practical steps.

The book is written as if it is a conversational piece between two individuals. The advice in the book is honest and not only offers advice on finding relationships, but also offers advice on how to maintain that relationship. Paul brings matchmaking and life coaching to paper. It is a book that makes you reflect on you and compels you to take a moment to really get to know you. It's Complicated is a must read for anyone whether single or married.

Bella Literary Critic
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It's Complicated (But It Doesn't Have to Be): A Modern Guide to Finding and Keeping Love
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