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It's Either Her or Me: A Guide to Help a Mom and Her Daughter-in-Law Get Along Paperback – March 23, 2010


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It's Either Her or Me: A Guide to Help a Mom and Her Daughter-in-Law Get Along + The Mother-in-Law Dance: Can Two Women Love the Same Man and Still Get Along? + Reluctantly Related: Secrets To Getting Along With Your Mother-in-Law or Daughter-in-law
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 204 pages
  • Publisher: Bantam (March 23, 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0553385941
  • ISBN-13: 978-0553385946
  • Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.5 x 8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,054,471 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

“Ellie Slott Fisher tackles the trickiest of all family relationships with wisdom, wit, and laughter.  It's Either Her or Me: A Guide to Help a Mom and Her Daughter-in-Law Get Along offers the practical step-by-step advice both women need to tackle the challenges each must face to forge respectful and affectionate family ties.  This book is a must read for mothers with sons of any age, wives/girlfriends, sisters, and the men themselves. —Leah Klungness, Ph.D., psychologist, co-author of The Complete Single Mother and co-founder of Singlemommyhood.com
 
“This book deals with a topic that is generally given very little attention and yet has enormous significance for the relationships between families and the way people interact. Ellie Fisher has drawn from a wide experience to deal with countless issues and countless contacts. This should be most enjoyable and insightful reading to all of us who deal with the challenges of making life work – particularly when it involves the developing of new and yet quickly important relationships.”  —Herbert Pardes, M.D., CEO, New York-Presbyterian Hospital
 
“An engaging, insightful and psychologically astute take on the triangle between the woman who raised him and the woman who bed and wed him."—Susan Shapiro, author of Five Men Who Broke My Heart and Secrets of a Fix-Up Fanatic
 

About the Author

Ellie Slott Fisher is the author of the critically acclaimed Mom, There’s a Man in the Kitchen and He’s Wearing Your Robe. A veteran journalist, Fisher has written for numerous magazines as well as the anthology Single Woman of a Certain Age. A dating mom herself, she lives in Yardley, Pennsylvania, and has two children.

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Customer Reviews

This book was not as good as another one I read on the same subject.
Lily
Rest assured that these questions are helpful reminders of areas of improvement!
Kim T.
The advice throughout the book is very easy to comprehend and makes sense.
Jeanette Stingley

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

4 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Kim T. on April 10, 2010
Format: Paperback
Where was this book ten years ago? I have been dating my boyfriend for nearly 11 years and have always wondered about how I could improve my relationship with his family and vice versa. I will readily admit I have harbored concerns and fears about whether or not I was doing enough or involved enough, and Ellie Fisher's book offers advice and insight that should be seen as common sense for anyone entering a new relationship or looking to improve a current relationship.

Coming from a family of all girls, It's Either Her or Me offers critical insight into what the mothers of sons are thinking when a new woman enters his life. For all the stress and pressure we girlfriends put on ourselves, it was reassuring to learn that this internal struggle is also shared from the mother's perspective. They too need to navigate the fine line between wanting to protect their sons and welcome this new woman in his life. As Fisher points out, rather than walking on eggshells around one another, it is critical that their is communication and respect from both parties. I have learned both his mother and my mother from their difficult experiences with their respective mother-in-laws, whether it was not speaking to one another for years, or learning quickly that your way would always be wrong, that to overcome these issues takes time, effort, communication, and most importantly respect.

While I am still navigating my own relationship road, and before the ring is on the finger, I thought it was important to take the time and effort myself to learn what I could or should be doing differently.
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3 of 4 people found the following review helpful By LGW on May 18, 2010
Format: Paperback
As a mother of two sons...this will be my guide for continuing a great relationship with my children and their future spouses or partners. I really appreciated the summation at the end of each chapter. This will give me easily available information at any time without having to skim through the chapters. I found the book to be an easy read filled with great information....LGW
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2 of 3 people found the following review helpful By Lily on February 25, 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This book was not as good as another one I read on the same subject. If the scenario presented doesn't affect you then I just skip those parts and there were many. Such as ethnic marriages,or when one person has kids already etc. What I would like to see more of is the dilemma of the actual two sets of parents. What do you so with the feelings of intense jealously and competition? Especially when grandchildren come On the scene. Thank goodness I have one daughter because I think it's much better to be the mom of the girl,the advantages are tremendous especially if you and your dtr are close. I do not like being the other of the boy,from the wedding to the amount of time the couple spends with her family as opposed to yours,you must take a backseat and I don't like that. Books acknowledge this but I get the impression us On my way! Of boys have to shut up,Bizet the bullet or risk losing our sons. I am not jealous of my dtr in law,I know she must come first in my sons life for it to be .a healthy marriage but I hate that her family is always in the know before ours just that being the very nature of girls talking more then boys and girls stay closer to the family. I have always said and my friends laugh,best case scenario is if your kid marries an orphan. I'm sure most people feel this way and just don't talk about it.
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3 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Jeanette Stingley VINE VOICE on April 10, 2010
Format: Paperback
When I was asked by Katie Rudkin from Random House to review this book I thought what could I possibly learn from this book? I have been blessed with 2 awesome mothers-in-law (my former husband and current husband)! My first mom-in-law I knew from the ages of 14 until my ex-husband and I split when I was 25. She really watched me grow as a person and filled in gaps for me that my biological mother would not fill. We always got along beautifully and I really miss her. My mother-in-law now is a really wonderful lady. I enjoy her company and have even gone on a long weekend trip with just her and I (no I am not saying all this because she may potentially read this hahaha).

Since I am so blessed, I didn't think I could possibly benefit from reading this book. I was pleasantly surprised with each turn of the page at what Fisher was saying. I have heard so many horror stories of mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law not getting along. It's Either Her or Me" tells many of these stories for examples and the author gives insight into how the females and husband/son handled the situations. The advice throughout the book is very easy to comprehend and makes sense. Fisher spent many hours interviewing and consulting with mothers-in-law, daughters-in-law, psychologists, and husbands. I liked that Fisher didn't leave any topic unanswered.
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