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"It's Not About the Sex" My Ass + Property: The True Story of a Polygamous Church Wife + Fifty Years in Polygamy: Big Secrets, Little White Lies
Price for all three: $43.09

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 172 pages
  • Publisher: lulu.com (February 2, 2013)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1105997405
  • ISBN-13: 978-1105997402
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.4 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 10.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (84 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #553,923 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

This book is an easy read.
Allan
It proffers wonderful insights into how any of us can rationalize an inability to be rational.
Amazon Customer
Great read and very well written.
Cindee Dietrich

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

50 of 52 people found the following review helpful By Amazon Customer on June 12, 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I am all too familiar with the story the author tells in this book; being a polygamist and first wife myself. The title "It's Not About the Sex" My Ass is the best title I've ever seen on a book about polygamy! I don't typically read polygamy books because the "poor me" perspective gets very old. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying at all that there isn't abuse, neglect, mind control, oppression etc because the absolutely is. I think the numerous female authors describe very well how difficult it is to stand up for ones self and "buck" the system. They describe honeslty how threatening it is to leave a society who was once family and friends, but who then become haters if you start to question the religion. While everyone has their own perspective and experience, there has to be some degree of personal responsibility taken as well though, from men AND women both. I have been a member my entire life and am currently still a member so I feel very qualified to make such a statment. Just sayin...

A few chapters in, as Joanne described finding and marrying wife number two. I was breathing into a paper bag, completely nauseated and hyperventilating, as my own long-burried memories came bubbling to the surface. It was fantastic to read a frank, honest account of the feelings one goes through when that event happens. I felt like she barely scratched the surface though. Personally, I was much more interested in her perspective of the everyday grind of being a polygamous wife rather than the activities of the group as a whole. When you struggle with a sisterwife, husband or the leaders, you don't dare speak about it openly because doing so would only show your lack of commitment and your weak testimony.
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31 of 35 people found the following review helpful By S. L. Patterson on December 16, 2012
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Disclaimer: I know Joanne Hanks (my former quase-sister-in-law) -- But I sure didn't know ABOUT Joanne Hanks.

A few things I learned about Joanne from her book:

1) I knew that Jeff and Joanne Hanks had moved to Manti, Utah and that they became polygamists some 20 years ago. They were certainly the talk of extended family gatherings during those years, but hardly anyone ever said a bad word about them. How could they? Most of them were progeny of Mormon polygamists themselves, albeit several generations removed.

2) That Joanne has such a great sense of humor. I see it in her now-adult daughters, so I guess it had to come to them from somewhere. I was very pleased to see that Joanne can laugh about all of this afterwards (though I'm sure there wasn't as much laughter during, as she explains so well in the book).

3) That Joanne is so honest and forthcoming about her experiences in this underground, secretive world. The worst part of coming back out of something like this, is facing up to the fact that not only did you delude others, but you deluded yourself. How many of us have the courage to do that? Joanne does.

I would recommend this book for anyone wanting insight into the world of Mormonism. The larger LDS church denounces these so-called "apostate" groups, but the reality is that what happened to Joanne and her family during their sojourn is very similar to what was happening in mainstream Mormonism from its very beginnings to well into the 20th century.

One can certainly extrapolate the feel and reality of living "the law of celestial marriage" from this thoughtful and expressive tome written by one who knows -- and who is honest and transparent enough to share it with us.

Thanks, Joanne. I think we have a lot more to talk about now!
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17 of 19 people found the following review helpful By Amazon Customer on November 15, 2012
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I purchased the Kindle version of this book ... and read it straight thru. It was a most entertaining and poignant presentation and it uniquely accomplished the author's goal of "humor and satire". I wasn't prepared to burst out laughing several times and found it a wonderful alternative to the usual dour and sometimes boring presentations of similar books.

Impassioned, powerful and succinct and with a compelling imperative to discover genuine and rational purpose in life.

It also accomplishes much more than a simple delineation of the TLC cult. It proffers wonderful insights into how any of us can rationalize an inability to be rational.

I couldn't put the story down.
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10 of 11 people found the following review helpful By SFC Courtney on December 19, 2012
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
This is the first book I have read in years cover to cover nonstop. It's a very interesting and unique view of subculture and sociological aspects we tend to ignore in our day to day lives.
Highly recommended
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14 of 17 people found the following review helpful By Dee on October 1, 2012
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
The book is well paced and doesn't drag, which makes it an easy read. It's also told with a lot of humor. The author doesn't demonize the people she describes, so they stay real and don't become caricatures. It's a good portrait of group-think, and illustrates just how easy it is to go off the rails with a charismatic leader and some isolation. I do wish she had spent a bit more time talking about how she got out, at least in terms of what was going on in her head. It was easier to see how she got into her situation, bit by bit, but harder to see the internal process for getting out. Overall the book is an interesting insight into the dynamics of a small polygamist group.
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